Flaking

There's been a lot of flaking over the past month.  Guys asking me out for coffee, drinks, lunch, or dinner and not picking a time or place.  I also didn't ask for a time or a place, I'll shoulder my half of the blame.  Why does it not bother me that these guys flaked?  I'm not really interested in any of them. I agreed to go, just to "get out there" and meet new people.  I also prefer to stay bundled up in my warm apartment, it's cold and windy out.

Why did they flake?  Perhaps they feel the same way?  Who cares?  I've been dating long enough to know that if a guy's that interested in meeting me, he will make sure he meets me.  Staying in vs meeting a guy who's not very interested?  Staying in will always win.  I feel well rested from not having gone on any dates in the last two weeks.

Early Christmas Gift

Christmas is only three days away!  This year blew by.  I had a dream about Ex Guy.  I'm going to look at this positively.  It was an early Christmas gift reminding me of what an assh*le he turned out to be and how to avoid it in the future.  He hid his assh*le tendencies so well.  I didn't talk about him very much on here because I saw no reason to dwell on depressing things, but I'll share more now.

I've had time to see it for what it was, a toxic relationship.  The highs were so high, the lows were so low.  There were many games.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought he was just a bit socially inept in romantic situations, not that he was playing that role to gain the upper hand. He was incredibly good at being a "nice guy" in the beginning and when he needed to.

More than half of the time I was with him, I was angry.  I almost broke up with him several times and he'd weasel out of it by doing and saying whatever was necessary to get me to change my mind.  Well, that should have been a red flag, but of course, I didn't notice it until the third time.  He was so convincing or perhaps I believed him because I really wanted to believe him.  He's most likely lied about SO MANY things just like he did with his ex wife.  I wanted to believe I was immune to this behavior.  I wasn't.

And, towards the end, I also saw that he wanted to control me.  He wanted me to be a quiet submissive woman who just went along with his wishes.  The last few times I saw him, he attempted to tell me what to wear and what to eat.  No, that did not go over well. LOL.

I accept full responsibility for letting this go on for too long.  I'm not trying to sort through what was true and what wasn't; it doesn't matter.  I'm trying not to be angry when he randomly crosses my mind.  It takes incredible strength to not be angry; no, I haven't completely mastered it.

15 Minutes

Since my last post on this went so well, more on emails and cellphones.  I remember a time when the majority of adult men and women had patience (I do have girlfriends who go crazy when a guy doesn't reply within minutes).  Times have changed. 

A guy who I've been talking with online asked me for my number and I gave it to him.  He texted me a few minutes later.  About 15 minutes after that, he emailed me again to say he texted me and asked another question.  I find his lack of patience to be utterly unattractive, which I've mentioned before.

Let's see what people could be doing with 15 minutes instead of frantically checking and replying to texts:

• Making and eating a sandwich
• Making an elaborate meal
• Showering
• Brushing teeth and washing face
• Putting on makeup
• Drying hair
• Taking a nap
• Reading a book
• Watching a movie
• Watching TV
• Talking on the phone
• Driving to work
• Driving home from work 
• Sitting under the Bay Bridge on BART
• Shopping at Safeway 
• Living their lives
• And more

No Email And No Cellphones

Do you remember a time when email didn't exist and virtually no one had cellphones?  Oh, those were the days.  I enjoyed not feeling pressure to see things and reply within nanoseconds.  I don't actually feel pressure to do these things, but I am tired of having to explain myself.

I do not reply to texts immediately because I'm doing something, my phone isn't nearby, or I'm somewhere without service.  I think it's very rude to check your phone and reply to texts when out with friends or on dates.  So yes, those 15 minutes I was gone?  I could have also been on a date with another guy.

We Caught Up

Over the weekend, I ran into a guy I went out with a few times at a party.  I wrote about him ("Felix") in this blog.  He was the guy who really wanted to go out with me and begged my old roommate to set it up.  We went out a handful of times.  He never contacted me again and I never contacted him.  Perhaps it was bad timing or perhaps neither of us were that interested in one another.

It was nice running into him.  Neither of us seem to have any bad feelings toward each other.  We caught up.  He said he'd call me; I don't think he will and that's fine.  He's not someone I'm dying to see again.  He's also not someone I'd avoid.

Strong Answer

I went on that date with Travel Guy last night.  We went to a very popular restaurant in downtown SF.  The food was great. I like that he's a calm guy.  He doesn't appear to have huge swings in emotions.  And, our conversations don't feel forced (like some dates I've been on with other guys).

I told him I'm not ready for a relationship and when I am, I'm not sure if it would be him.  He told me that's fine, he'd like to keep seeing me, and hopes I change my mind.  That's a strong answer.  It could indicate that he's not very into me either, which would be perfect.  I enjoy his friendship and perhaps that's the same way he feels about me.

I Don't Know

I'm going on a date with Travel Guy tonight.  When we go out, it's always a pleasant time, I just don't think I see him romantically.  At least, not right now.  I don't think it will change, but it could?  I am going to tell Travel Guy tonight.  Perhaps,  I'm not ready for a relationship.  If I were to meet the man of my dreams tomorrow, would I be ready for a relationship?  I don't know.  I don't think so? 

Why That Selfie?

There was a guy I was supposed to have dinner with last night.  We had a time, but we didn't have a place.  He didn't tell me where and I didn't ask.  I knew I wouldn't meet him in person.  Had he told me where to meet him, I would've simply declined.

On Friday, he sent me a terrible photo of himself shoveling eggs into his mouth.  He then requested I send him a selfie of myself eating something.  Needless to say, I did not send the selfie.  And his photo and request had already decided his fate of "No, not going on that date with you."

Why that selfie? Perhaps he thought he was being fun by sending it?  I really don't know how to interpret it. I didn't request it or any selfies for that matter.

Clean Slate

I've recovered from the flu and this weekend, I'm going to go on a few dates with guys who've I've been putting off for the past several weeks or months.  I've put them off for a variety of reasons, including one or more of the following: our calendars don't match up, I have the flu, and I'm not really that interested.

My goal is to meet all of them before the end of the year.  Why?  No, not cuffing, I don't feel like I need to have someone for the rest of the holiday season.  I want meet these guys ASAP because if I don't like any of them (and I suspect I won't), I don't have to bring that looming date with so-and-so into the new year with me.  There's no "I still have to go out with that guy who's been texting me."

New year, new start.  If I do like any of of these guys, I'll have to like them a whole lot.  I truly want to take a break to recharge and have a clean slate.

Cuffing Season

"Cuffing season."  Didn't know there was a name for this.  From my understanding it's the time around Thanksgiving to just after the new year where men and women try to find a boyfriend or girlfriend ASAP.

Unless I'm seriously dating someone, I like going to holiday parties, weddings, family events, et al by myself.  This way, if the guy is never to be seen again, I don't have to explain what happened to so-and-so.  And, you never know who you will meet when you go stag.  If you bring someone who you aren't really into, that might get in the way of someone new coming over to talk to you.

Sharp Uptick

Tis the season! I've noticed a sharp uptick in guys contacting me on the dating sites and apps. If memory serves, I've seen this every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas, then right after the new year.  I don't have much time for dating before the end of the year.  Still recuperating and already have a ton of things on the calendar.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. All the new age and spiritual information talk about how gratitude increases happiness.  Well, what's there not to be grateful for?  I have food, clothing, and shelter. (I'm betting you do too if you're reading this).  Sure, everyone has areas of their lives where there's room for improvement, but unhappy? No. As general practice though, I should be more grateful year round. 

The really good thing about being sick? I'm feeling too sh*tty to care about much.  Black Friday? Who cares.  Guy who keeps blowing up my phone?  Who cares.  Traffic to Thanksgiving dinner?  Who cares, not going.

Under The Weather

I've been under the weather a lot this year.  I usually get sick once, maybe twice a year.  I've been sick four or five times already and the year isn't even over.  I'll take this as a sign that I need to stop cramming things into my schedule and take some me time.  A night of binge watching some show on Netflix and sleeping in is what I need, not another date.

I'm going to cancel a date this week (I haven't done it yet) and I cancelled that second date I was supposed to go on over the weekend.  He's been texting me since and I haven't replied.  Yes, I can send a text from bed, but I don't want to.  It's a better use of my energy to recuperate, not to answer a thousand questions and try to reschedule.  Even if I was into him, which I don't think I am, I still wouldn't reply right now.

I need to take some time to think about things.  I'm a big believer in "happy people don't get sick."  Well, based on how many times I've been sick this year, it looks like I need to increase my happiness level.  And, I'm quite sure this is something I need to do by myself, not by going on dates; that can wait.

Anything There?

I have a second date coming up.  He seems like a nice guy and I don't think we had much to talk about on our first date.  He's been hounding me to go out again.  I'm going to see if there's anything there?

Clarification: This is not a second date with the guy who sent me endless texts and emails confirming our date.  The second date I'm talking about is with someone new.

Playing Games

I was thinking about comments I got from a previous post.  I was trying to understand why some "men" block and don't respond if you can't meet up with them right then and there.  One of the comments talked about how some men are just bored or traveling; fine, that explains their need for instant gratification.

What bothers me is how some men might think a woman is "playing games" when she isn't available right that second.  When did these "men" turn into such insecure babies?  Instead of giving a woman (or anyone) the benefit of the doubt that she leads a full life with a full schedule, these "men" assume "she's playing games?"  Perhaps their egos also got a little bruised because they could also be thinking "she doesn't like me because if she really did, she'd drop everything to see me right now."

Well, perhaps there's nothing to like.  These "men" must have very dull and unimpressive lives if they can drop everything at any given moment to meet up someone. Or, they must be terribly insecure and paranoid if they automatically assume the woman is playing games.  I'm really tired of people expecting the worst out of human kind.

These "men," please block me because I don't ever want to meet you.  Essentially, "Thank you for letting me know that you are not worth the two minutes it takes for me to write an email or however many minutes I'd waste meeting you in person."

What Happened To These "Men?"

Yesterday, I got the guy who blocked me because I didn't want to meet him for a drink the very night that he asked me to.  Today, I got the guy who blocked me because I took too long to respond to his email?  He sent me an email in the afternoon.  I had my app open in the background, but didn't have time to read it until just now.  Well, it turns out he's blocked me between the time he sent it and just now.  LOL. And, I was also supposed to have a dinner date tonight.  That is until I found out he wanted to have dinner at 10pm.

What's happened to these "men?" What babies!  I think this is a sign that I need a break. Or I need to move.

Such Immaturity

1) Wow, what a day with all the election talk

2) LOL, such immaturity in online dating. I was blocked by a guy because he didn't like my answer to "Let's grab drinks tonight."  All I said was, "Tonight isn't good, another night?"  This tells me he's not very interested to begin with and possibly crazy

Fine In Real Life

Even though he sent several texts confirming dinner and giving me his exact whereabouts on his way to dinner, he turned out to be fine in real life.  We had a nice dinner and talked.  I don't feel an immediate spark, it could grow?  I like his energy.  He's upbeat. But it feels more platonic

Very Insecure

I'm a big believer that if you like someone, everything they do or say is great. And if you don't like someone, everything they do or say is terrible.  I have a date with a new guy tonight.  We haven't even met yet and he's getting on my nerves.  He's sent too many texts.  And he confirmed dinner three times.  Right off the bat, that tells me he's very insecure.  Perhaps he's been stood up before.  Perhaps he needs constant reassurance.  I'll meet him and I suspect he won't make it to a second date.

I Will

I will respond to Travel Guy to tell him I'm not feeling it. I haven't done it yet. I'm overthinking what I should say.  And I'm still hoping he'll ghost me, meaning he'll just disappear without a trace.

Inappropriate

Travel Guy asked me out for dinner.  It was much too late, I'm busy. Also, there's been a few sexual innuendos in our past two dates. It is very likely that I won't be seeing him again. We don't know each other very well at all, so, inappropriate.  And I've decided I don't want to get to know him better. I'm hoping he'll just stop asking me out. I think it's obnoxious if I accept a dinner date just to break up with him.

Let It Go

I don't know much about Buddhism, but I do know one of their beliefs is just to let it go.  That driver who cut you off?  Let it go.  That partner who cheated on you?  Let it go.  That promotion you should've gotten?  Let it go.

Things that bother me randomly pop into my head.  I'd like to say I'm able to just let it go, but that doesn't always happen.  In fact, sometimes it takes a tremendous amount of effort to let some of these things go.  It's usually relationship and dating type topics that takes me a lot of effort to let go.  I know one is suppose to be grateful and happy and that aids the process...  Perhaps, I'm going to get a book on Buddhism.

Divorce Can Be Even Better

Breakups can be great and divorce can be even better.  Many people seem to be afraid of divorce.  Sure, there are emotions and money involved.  However, once those are taken care of, each party has the rest of their lives to be happier alone or with someone else.  I have friends who've met with countless divorce attorneys and won't file for 10+ years because of alimony, child support, et al.  Well, alimony won't go away.  And one would lose more in terms of time than money if one values 10 years (or any amount of time) of his/her life?  Is another 10 years of misery not worth $____?  And if one worries about what his/her friends and family will think, is his/her happiness not more important than what others will think?

I had lunch with a guy friend of mine this week.  He's been married for decades.  He is hesitating on filing because he doesn't want his wife to have the "divorced lady" stigma.  I don't think that stigma exists anymore.  He's been unhappy for decades and sees himself doing this great thing for her by cheating (Tinder is his favorite app) because what she doesn't know won't hurt her.  Well, I think she's known for decades and it's not fair that he's taking away her real chance of happiness with someone else (or alone).

I had dinner with a guy friend of mine last week.  He got divorced.  Even though he is paying many thousands in alimony a month, he says it's worth every penny.  He said the process was terrible, but at the end, he's much happier now than he was when he was married.  He's been divorced for about nine years now.

Breakups Can Be Great

Many dread breakups, but they can be great.  Why waste time with someone who you don't really want to be with or who doesn't really want to be with you?  I had dinner with a good girlfriend of mine.  She has not broken up with her boyfriend again, but she seems to be miserable with him.  They've broken up several times in the past.  She's almost always in tears because they are almost always fighting.  I'm sure they have good days, but there seems to be many more bad days.  Her self esteem is in the toilet since he's tells her she's stupid and can't do better.  I don't see how that's a good use of her time on this planet.

She has this "I love him" or "he loves me" reasoning.  Well, if he loves her that much, would he say such hateful things?  Wouldn't he want her to be happy even if it meant not being with her?  Wouldn't she want someone who thought the world of her, instead of constantly putting her down?

Sometimes two people just aren't meant to be together.  They should appreciate the good times they managed to scrape together and realize the good times no longer exist.  Two good days out of 365 days is not a good ratio or relationship.

Breakup Season

Has breakup season moved? It used to be right before or right after the holidays. Many of my girlfriends have broken up with their boyfriends (or were broken up with by their boyfriends) in August and September.  Many celebrity divorces in the news too.

I've always seen September as a time to restart.  This association probably stems from all the years of getting ready for the new school year.

According to many divorce attorneys, January is traditionally "divorce month" with a small spike in August.

Three Down

Had dinner with Travel Guy Saturday tonight.  We had a nice conversation.  He's growing on me, but I'm still not very into it.  It also doesn't help that I'm starting to think he's still married (even though he's told me he's divorced).

He wants to see me again this week.  I'm going to pay much closer attention to what he says/how he acts.  I don't want to ask him directly yet because that could make it seem like I don't trust him and/or I'm paranoid.

Three dates down last week.  I'm tired of dating.

Two Down

If a guy isn't specific about a date being a dinner date because we meet at a lounge, he gets one hour, maximum.  He was quite surprised when I ended the date.  Well, it's dinner time and one appetizer isn't sufficient.  I'm probably not going to see him again because he just got divorced and is boring.  He also looks nothing like his photos.

Two dates down this week, one more to go.

One Down

I cancelled a date tonight.  He didn't set plans for tonight.  No time and restaurant.  For a first date, spontaneity doesn't work.  One down, two more to go this week.  I might cancel the others too because I feel like I just want to be...with no obligations to be anywhere with anyone.

Napa

Over the weekend, I went on a day date to Napa with that guy I'm unsure about.  (I think I'll call him Travel Guy because he seems to take a lot of vacations.)  Unfortunately, I still don't think I find him attractive.  From past experience, I know attraction level can grow the more I see his positives.

The date - he picked me up, we had lunch in Napa, and went to a few wineries.  He insisted on buying me several bottles of wine.  Then he drove me home.

He texted the very next morning asking to see me again.  This guy means business.  This is what it looks like when someone is trying to date you.  I've never gotten a "Hey" text from him.  When he texts, it's to make plans, and I like that.

Ultra Fast Breakup Recovery

I think this will work for both men and women.  I highly recommend going on a date with someone new to get the ex out of your head.  Yes, it's hard, you're still sad, angry, et al, but I do believe it speeds up the breakup recovery process.  I don't know about you, but I certainly want an ultra fast breakup recovery.

Ultra Fast Breakup Recovery (1 and 2 are interchangeable steps):

1. Go on a date.  Just go.  You don't have to think s/he's "the one."  Go with an open mind and try to have a nice time.  It's just a date
2. Stop all communication with the ex.  Defriend the ex on facebook.  Unfollow the ex on instagram and twitter.  Ignore or block all of his/her calls/messages.  You get the idea.  Never ever reach out to the ex.  If the ex left a toothbrush at your house, throw it out, s/he can buy a new one.  If the ex left something of value at your house, mail it to him/her.  Do not see the ex.  The ex is a part of your past.  (If you want to get back together with him/her, move on with your life until s/he makes a compelling argument as to why you should give him/her the time of day.  Usually, that means fixing whatever problem that led you to wanting to break up.  You might not even want him/her back after you recover)

Mark As Spam

The Ex Guy just texted me again and it's making me angry.  On several different occasions, I've told him not to email, call, or text.  This hasn't deterred him.  My friends are telling me to block him.  Yes, it's easy to block a phone number.  No, it's not easy to block email (or maybe it is, I've never had to try).

I shouldn't need to block him.  He's a grown man.  We have broken up.  Our relationship is over.  He should know how to act when someone says, "Please don't speak to me."  Continuing to reach out is obnoxious.  What is he hoping to gain by reaching out?  Will I tell him I want to get back together?  "Thanks for being obnoxious and completely disregarding my requests, let's get back together."  No.  I know he wants to be on my mind and hopes that will prevent me from dating other men.  Tough, I am dating other men.

Perhaps his phone will be blocked and his email will receive the "mark as spam" treatment.

Just Not That Into You

Saw this article today and agree.  If someone ghosts, who cares why.  If they aren't making time to actually see you in person, who cares why and they just aren't that into you.  Why waste time and think about someone who isn't that into you?  Move on, meet someone who makes it very clear they are into you.

I Wish There Was A Spark

I told him I can't get out of town this weekend.  He offered alternative weekends.  I wish there was a spark because he seems like a nice guy.  Do I give him a second chance to see if a spark develops?  Or do I tell him I'm only interested in him as a friend?

A Second Date Years Later

This seems to always happen.  I broke up with that guy and a guy I had dinner with years ago reached out to me.  I went out with him again (a second date years later) last night.  I can't see him as anything more than "just a friend."  I have zero attraction towards him.  He really wants to take me on a day trip to Napa or anywhere over the weekend.  I do not want to go.  I can either tell him, I'm not interested or tell him I'm busy (so I can give it some more time before I completely rule him out).  I hear a lot of women say, "I wasn't into him at all when we first met."  I don't think I'm one of those though.

Back Into The Sea

I broke up with him, back into the sea he goes.  It doesn't seem like he wants to go back into the sea.  He's been texting, calling, et al.  I don't have anything else to say.  I don't think I'm meant for, or want the same person until the end of time.  No matter how great it was, there will be a time when it's no longer great, even though nothing has changed (aside from me growing tired of dating the same guy).  Until I meet someone who changes my mind on this, I'm going to think this is just how I'm wired.

I've been playing with some apps, but I really want to be on my own, and reclaim fabulous single life without obligations.

Forever

He's been talking about forever.  This is causing sleepless nights.  It's more than I don't know about forever with him.  It's about forever with anyone. He's a nice guy who is very good to me.  I am not saying I can find another guy who will treat me better.  I'm saying, I don't know if I can be a forever person for anyone.

Excitement

When I was younger, I loved drama. I think I still like it, to a lesser degree than before, but it's still there.  I think I get bored with this guy from time to time because there isn't much excitement.  And by excitement, I might mean roller coaster?  I know he is very into me.  I know he'd like to spend as much time with me as possible.  I know he'll do just about anything to make sure I'm happy, entertained, et al.  Yes ladies, after dating men who aren't like this, seems like a dream? 

Perhaps I get in this mood when I know a guy is too interested?  Of course, I want someone who is interested...interested and with an opinion?

Three P's

Steve Harvey wrote a book about dating.  In it, he talks about the three P's.  A guy is very serious about you when he:

1. Professes - gives you a title, stakes his claim in front of others, et al
2. Provides - feeds, cares for, et al
3. Protects - self explanatory

I think there is some truth to this?  Guy I'm dating did not do any of these early on.  Now he gets worried if there's no food in my fridge or when I travel alone.  It's sweet, but not very exciting. I think I lack excitement.

Tylenol

I skimmed this NYT Modern Love piece.  Two things I focused on:

1. "If he doesn't want you, you don't want him" - I agree 100%. Why spend energy wanting someone who doesn't want you back?
2. Tylenol might help with a broken heart? - Facinating

The Relationship Type?

I don't think I'm the relationship type.  He calls me his girlfriend and that makes me feel awkward.  He refers to himself as my boyfriend and that also makes me feel awkward.  When I spend too much time with him, I can't wait to go home and spend some quality time by myself.  To be fair, I do this with other people too; I am not what most would consider an extrovert.

So, this leads me to a question, could I ever be happily married to anyone?  I'd see him (any him, not specifically this him) everyday, for years and years.

Summer Traveling

I've been traveling a lot.  Some trips are solo, some trips are with friends, and some trips are with the guy.  They are all fun in different ways.  When I overdo it on solo trips, I want to go places with my friends.  When I overdo it on trips with the guy, I want to go places on my own.  Et al.  I don't think I know the right balance for me yet.

Not To Run

When things are going well, I'm not sure I want to continue.  When things aren't going well, I want them to continue.  Do I scare easily?  Perhaps.  Do I like the challenge?  Perhaps.  Do I like fantasy more than reality?  Perhaps.  Things are going well with that guy and I'm reminding myself that's what I wanted and not to run.

Nice Surprise

Things have been going better with the guy I'm dating.  Still unclear if it's going anywhere though.  We've been spending more time together and I haven't gotten sick of him, which is a nice surprise.  In my book, that's a good sign.

Anywhere

I know what's been bothering me about this guy I'm dating.  I don't think it'll go anywhere.  Some people are okay dating someone forever and knowing that it won't go anywhere.  I am not one of those people.  I'll give it some more thought before I do something about it.

So Little Time

I've had so little time.  I'm still dating the guy I was getting bored of.  Maybe he sensed I was getting bored?  I think he knew that I went on dates after the "I understand if you are dating others" talk.  Since then, he's been trying to occupy ALL my free time.  He wants to see me every day.  No, I do not and will not allow that.

Stared

I went on that date last week.  He didn't say much.  He stared at me in silence most of the night and wants to go out again. I'm not sure.  The conversation was pleasant.  The staring was unnerving.

Dating Others

I'm getting bored of the guy I've been dating.  And, it's too complex with his kids, ex wife, et al.  He also says he understands if I'm dating others, but he's not.  I don't know if I trust him based on things from his past.

I'm going on a date with a new guy tonight.

Mysteriously Vanished

I was on a flight from NY to SF.  Across the aisle, was a young woman and a young man.  They did not know each other before the six hour flight.  They were cuddled up by the end of the flight.  I don't know if she knew he had a wedding ring on, which had mysteriously vanished en route.

Quiet

I have been dating someone and I've stayed quiet about it. I think I can see a future, but I'm not sure.  He's been married and he has children from that marriage.

Valentine's Day

I've never believed in Valentine's Day. People should appreciate each other year round, not just Februrary 14th.  I got roses this year.  And a card.  The roses are still alive, which is nice.

Super Bowl City

I went to Super Bowl City.  It wasn't crowded and there wasn't much to do.  Nice to see what all the hype was about.

Super Bowl Preparations

The Super Bowl is in Santa Clara, CA this year.  I believe Santa Clara is about two hours from San Francisco.  Why are all the festivities taking place up here?  Getting around by foot, car, public transportation, et al are very difficult.  Super Bowl preparations appear to be taking place all over the city.  Major streets have been closed to cars and pedestrians.  Pedestrians too?  I might go out of town to avoid the chaos.

Regressing

I'm regressing.  When I was a kid, I used to cry all the time.  I'm turning back into my five year old self.  I don't remember why I used to cry, I just know that I did.  As I get older, I find myself crying out of anger...a lot.

Very Scrubby

It's been raining a lot.  I've looked very scrubby walking around town.  I've noticed an increase in the number of men who invite me to coffee with their friends (I was standing outside Starbucks waiting for a friend) and start conversations ("Hey, I like your coat!" leading to a longer discussion on coats).  Perhaps looking scrubby is the key to getting approached during the day?  Perhaps we were all on to something late last year?

A Bust

The blind date was a bust.  I didn't even want to write about it.  1) Absolutely no physical attraction.  2) He wanted to debate every topic that came up.

Power Ball Mania

1.5 billion dollars!  No, I didn't win.  I wish I did.  What would I do with the money?  Be unemployed and travel.  What would you do if you won?

Blind Date

I have a blind date tomorrow night.  I don't know what he looks like.  I do know his profession, where in SF he lives, and his hobbies.

Finally Better

I'm finally better and went to several networking events this past week.  I was approached by many married men and no single men.  Why?  I don't know.

Still Sick

I haven't said much because I'm still sick.  It's been a week?  I don't know, it feels like it's been a year.  Things I know I will continue doing in 2016:

1. Traveling more
2. Taking more "recharge/me time"
3. Ridding myself of more material possessions

As for the whole dating/relationship thing?  I sorta really don't care.  I don't know if I'm the marrying type.  Most likely not because I'm not even the relationship type; I disqualify and get bored of men quickly.  Maybe I haven't found the "right guy" because I really really really like being on my own.  I like being in charge of my time and not having anyone else to take into consideration.  If someone seems very interesting, I'll go for a drink (when I'm here, I don't plan on being in SF much).