Saturday, October 1, 2016

Breakups Can Be Great

Many dread breakups, but they can be great.  Why waste time with someone who you don't really want to be with or who doesn't really want to be with you?  I had dinner with a good girlfriend of mine.  She has not broken up with her boyfriend again, but she seems to be miserable with him.  They've broken up several times in the past.  She's almost always in tears because they are almost always fighting.  I'm sure they have good days, but there seems to be many more bad days.  Her self esteem is in the toilet since he's tells her she's stupid and can't do better.  I don't see how that's a good use of her time on this planet.

She has this "I love him" or "he loves me" reasoning.  Well, if he loves her that much, would he say such hateful things?  Wouldn't he want her to be happy even if it meant not being with her?  Wouldn't she want someone who thought the world of her, instead of constantly putting her down?

Sometimes two people just aren't meant to be together.  They should appreciate the good times they managed to scrape together and realize the good times no longer exist.  Two good days out of 365 days is not a good ratio or relationship.


  1. Though I get what you are saying, that it's much better to be alone or broken up vs the wrong person, it is MUCH harder in practice. Even if someone is not right for you, you get used to their presence. Talking to them becomes second nature. They become part of your life. It's hard to extricate yourself from that with practical and logical reasons, when your heart overrules your brain.

    Usually, it takes a lot of making mistakes - like contact or sex after a breakup - and a lot of time to finally realize you are better off without the other person.

    1. Yes, much harder in practice. Cutting off all contact and sex helps

  2. Its hard when you partner is still all about their past

  3. yes break up can be great. I agree with you.