Sunday, May 3, 2009

Definitely Not (updated 5/4)

Just Say No!!
There is a kind of guy I refuse to date; programmers/software engineers/computer engineers. I have never met one who hasn't gotten on my nerves (or those around me) after more than 2 or so exposures. I actually dated one in college when I was young and stupid; it was terrible and I should have broken up with him much sooner.

Top Reasons Why I Don't Date Programmers/Software Engineers/Computer Engineers (updated 5/4)
  1. They think they are always right (more so than the average guy or girl) about every topic imaginable...even ones where they really have no clue. For example, "If your skin turns green, that means the gold is real." Wrong!!
  2. They think they are incredibly intelligent and logical. Okay, the intelligent part is sometimes true, but if this was actually the case all the time, why the f*ck would they choose to do something a trained monkey can do?
  3. They have no social skills and can't talk to people. Maybe this is because they spend less than 1 hour a day away from a computer? I don't think I even need to give an example, all y'all have met at least 1 programmer/software engineer in your lifetime. Their excessive sweating is usually a dead giveaway.
  4. They are pessimists/angry a lot more often than not...perhaps emotionally unstable is a better description. I would be too if I was a programmer. Little things set them off about humans because humans are much more unpredictable than their precious computers.
  5. They usually have some kind of OCD/anal retentiveness. Everything has to make sense to them, not that it means their thought process is in anyway logical. For example, fruit must go in the fruit bowl; anywhere else is wrong.
  6. They are ignorant. For example, "You speak Japanese, right?" I reply, "No, I am not Japanese." Programmer: "Well I figured you would know Japanese because you are Asian and Asians all know how to speak the other Asian languages." He was being completely serious.
  7. They think they are clever. Right, so clever that girls like me got them to do both our homework all through high school.
Yes, these are stereotypes/glittering generalizations, but I live in SF and have met many programmers/software engineers...this list applies to every single one I have ever met. Programmers/software engineers, take no offense...I am sure you couldn't handle/wouldn't want an intelligent, well educated, witty, good looking girl like myself anyway.


  1. Maybe they could write some software to try and figure out how to handle you?