Monday, July 30, 2012

OkCupid and Paid Sites

The more I use OkCupid, the more I convince myself I should stick with it.  Look at the screenshot.  OkCupid did the math on why paid sites do NOT have good odds (this was before they were bought by

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Not Deleted

I contacted Smart Guy because I was fuming about something he said to me.  It was so judgmental.  He actually responded and was nice (did not expect this).  Smart Guy's number is not getting deleted this week.

By the way, I think he's been cheated on or scorched in some other way.

Thursday, July 26, 2012


I would like some closure.  Limbo is not a good place, would like to know if I should delete someone's number out of my phone.  Would also like it if someone didn't assume I seriously lacked morals and ethics (which is what I think is going on right now).  So I did something that should get me an answer/closure...I feel pretty good now.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Not Ready

Don't know if I am ready for a relationship.  Thinking I am not (either because I haven't met the right guy or it's not the right time).  Really thought I was.  I get freaked out easily.  This isn't directed towards anyone in particular, or is it?  Who knows, maybe he feels the same way.  The momentum (and my giddiness) are at super low levels right now. 

I also feel "off."  Smart Guy is great in person, but I am kinda uncomfortable right now (had some unpleasant conversations with him).  I know, totally singing a different tune today (compared to a couple of weeks ago).  I think he is judgmental and might also be close-minded (he really didn't seem that way in person).  I don't walk on eggshells, not part of my nature!  A friend had a great point, it's a good thing I'm learning all this stuff now versus later.

Couldn't care less if he does or doesn't contact me (yes, I do flip flop on this depending on the hour of the day).

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

I've Already Dated This Guy?

I think I've already dated this guy?  Smart Guy is bit too similar to The Brain.  NOT good.
  • He gets upset with me for things that go on in his own head (remember, we aren't exclusive, doesn't stop him from jumping to conclusions on how I spend my time)
  • He is insecure (likely) and really care what others think
  • He wants to know everything (Where are you?  Who are you with?  What are you doing right now?)
  • He is very smart and might need to always be right (BAD)
These are red flags.  I guess a part of me wants to think this is temporary because we aren't dating exclusively?  Everyone is telling me it will only get worse with time.

Friday, July 20, 2012

So, This Is How It Works...

I met a young lady today (late 20s), very nice girl, seems fun, etc.  She has been married for five years and they are happy.  I learned that she picked him up!  This is not the first time I've heard about the ladies picking up the men in SF.  I know I could try this tactic, but it hasn't worked well for me in the past.  Okay, it was more than 10 years ago, but still.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Every Guy Wants A Wife

I was talking to a coworker today about dating.  She is older, been married, divorced, etc.  She told me every guy out there (secretly or not so secretly) wants a wife (yes, I am assuming she meant heterosexual guys).  Is she right???

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

OkCupid Experiment

I read the news a lot.  Apparently, this guy Jon Millward did an experiment (I am not a researcher, but I don't think his research was that precise) and Huffington Post picked it up.  Better looking girls get 581% more responses than other girls.  Better looking girls getting more emails does not surprise me.  What I did find interesting from the article:

"While some people find the cycle of online dating to be "hellish," the number of users continues to rise. According to MBA Programs, in 2007 about 20 million people visited or used online dating sites. That number has now doubled, with around 40 million romantic hopefuls now looking for love online."

I knew more sites were popping up, but 40 million are online dating????

Sunday, July 15, 2012


Went to an event.  A 28 year old asked me out.  99% sure he didn't know I was older him.  I said no, but he seems like the persistent type.  65 year old guy also asked me out.  No.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Yes, He Is In The Picture

I've gotten a lot of questions about Smart Guy. Yes, he is in the picture. We actually talk/text/email everyday. Surprisingly, this has not gotten on my nerves.  We have not had another date due to work obligations.  He's the only guy I've found remotely interesting in five years.  Yeah, five years.  The other guys I dated were all guys I talked myself into dating.  Didn't see any of them and think, "Wow, he's cute."  Smart Guy isn't my typical "type."  He's got light hair and more than 4% body fat!

Smart Guy is pretty cool (remember, we just met), but I suspect part of me being interested in him has something to do with the fact that I am more open to meeting someone now.  Yeah, many of my posts talk about how hard it is to find a guy in SF, blah blah.  I think a lot of it had to do with me not really wanting to find a guy.  After I got back from a short vacation in June, I felt sorta ready (hey, that's a huge step)!

I got a little crazy and NO I didn't tell him! I did the whole, "How many other girls is he talking to?" thing in my head. It's a valid question; a question I would NEVER ask him. Then I remembered all the conversations I have had with SF guys and was reminded of something HUGE - low supply and high demand of SF girls. I am covered.  Also, not to be a d*ck, but I am not exactly at the bottom of the barrel here.

I know I should going out with more guys. I don't think I'm able to do this because I feel bad for the new guy (the guy that is not already the favorite - yeah, Smart Guy is the favorite).  A new guy could be really psyched, but I just wouldn't be into it; he wouldn't even know why, but it could bother him.  See, I do have compassion, I just don't want you to know.  Besides, no one new I would want to go out with has contacted me.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Not Always Accurate

Went out with another OkCupid guy that was 90%+.  Trying to figure out if the match % actually means something.  The guy was smart, pretty funny, well spoken, nice, etc.  However, I was totally not attracted to him.  He looks a bit older than early 30s.

We did get along well.  Yeah, the sample size is small, but 90%+ tend to have the personality traits I am looking for.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Pleasantly Surprised

I was pleasantly surprised.  D*ck on the phone guy was not a d*ck in person.  How nice!  He's really sweet.  I think he might actually be that way (not d*ck).  He was a gentleman, not pervo *sshle (really can't handle another one of these).  We had dinner and watched a movie.  There was no funny business.  I think I'll see him again.  He gets a name!  We'll call him Smart Guy.

Saturday, July 7, 2012


So, I was on the phone with this guy I met on OkCupid.  We are a match, 90%+ match.  He sounded like a d*ck on the phone.  Does that mean OkCupid thinks I am a d*ck?  I couldn't wait for the call to end.  I think he was angry with me.  He could have been nervous?  His emails were always very pleasant.

Fine, I am not good with the phone either, but really???

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Just Call Me A Puma

I heard ladies in their 40s going after younger men are "cougars" and ladies in their 30s going after younger men are "pumas."  I am not a puma yet, but these opportunities keep presenting themselves!  Met a very cute, tall, well spoken, blond, blue eyed 22 year old today.  He turned a five minute conversation into 35 minutes.  22 is way too young, but he was adorable.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Is Your City Making You Single?

Saw this article, "Is Your City Making You Single" and HAD to read it.  It mostly talked about DC, New York, and Los Angeles.  I guess I shouldn't look into moving to any of those cities.  The article said NY users make up 8% of all of users.  That's why I know so many people in NY who met their spouses on match!  The supply of girls is also pretty high in NY, also not a good thing because "everyone is looking out for someone for better."  That might apply to many other cities, but in NY, there actually is "better;" not the case with San Francisco.

DC is said to be quite good for coupling up, but it the reviews weren't exactly spectacular.  Why wasn't SF discussed?  Haha.  I said the same thing about SF (it's top ranked for singles, but that's probably a bad thing) years ago.

Dating and "proximity" are huge.  The term "geographically undesirable" didn't just sprout up for no good reason.  San Francisco is kinda spread out and when you factor in Silicon Valley, it's even more expansive.  I know people in the Mission who don't want to date people in Pacific Heights or the Marina because it's too far.  That can't be the only reason, the Mission is known for hipsters while Pac Heights is known for yuppies, and the Marina is known for frat/sorority life.  And, what to do about Silicon Valley?  I've been told that's where "all the guys are," but it's also 40 or so miles away.  Going to the Mission from Pac Heights doesn't sound so bad anymore, does it?  Well, that's if you like hipsters...

I actually think it boils down to if you meet the right person, geography will not matter (not talking about cross country here).  The issue is how to meet the right person.