Saturday, August 30, 2014


I was thinking about that young girl at brunch last weekend again.  It reminded me of some stuff, I'd like to overlook.  It was never that bad, but I remember when I was younger (late teens and early 20s) and would tolerate obnoxious behavior from the guys I was dating.  Ultimately, I got fed up and bailed, but the fact that I stuck around for even a couple of dates or weeks is plain embarrassing.

Maybe it's a youth thing?  I can't think of one girl I knew who didn't have an "*sshole" boyfriend at some point in her life.  And we (as women) only let them be "*sshole boyfriends" because we let them stick around.  Clearly, that's not the case anymore, LOL.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Oh, Again?

Oh, again?  The guys I've met and have actually gone out with (on more than two dates) just don't get it.  Someone liked me on OkCupid today.  It was...Valley Guy.  Yeah, I don't think so, thanks.  What's even more interesting?  He's the same age as he was three years ago (and he was already lying back then).  He's in his mid 40s (possibly late 40s), not late 30s as he claims to be.  And, he's also using the same photo which taken 20 years ago.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

That Poor Girl

Over the weekend, I was standing in line outside a busy brunch spot.  There was a young couple behind me (maybe early or mid 20s) and I couldn't help, but overhear what was being said.  The guy was a total dck and loud.  Some the things he condescendingly said to her:
  • You've only been here once?  You go on and on about this place like you are a regular.  Was that one time really that great?  That one time does not make you a regular, you know?
  • Well, that's not very descriptive (she was describing some dish).  Your description was horrible.  Were you just trying to do a really sh*tty job describing it?
  • Do you even know what we should order?
  • This wasn't well thought out on your part
  • This line is so long, I better not get a ticket 
She couldn't get him off her back and asked him if he wanted to wait in the car.  He said no (which was really terrible, not just for her, but for everyone in this line).  By the way, she was on the verge of tears (I'm guessing from anger, I'd be pissed).

That poor girl.  She can do better, no one deserves to be criticized for 30 minutes straight.  She was also way cuter than him.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

10 First Date Faux Pas

10 first date faux pas according to SFGate and what I usually encounter:
1.  Too much information (wow, he just told me about his travel stomach issues)
2.  Eating off my plate (wtf)
4.  Talking about the ex (this almost always happens)
5.  Uncomplimentary remarks (this even happens when I'm not on a date)
7.  The me show (always)
8.  Last minute scheduling (happens way too much, pretty infuriating)
9.  Expecting to get some (happened twice, not even in NY, this was in SF)
10.  Ignoring signals (I've packed up all my stuff, looked at my watch 20 times, and he ordered another drink)

#3 is splitting the check.  No, I do not split checks, feels too businesslike and I believe in chivalry.  If a guy has a problem with this, he's not the guy for me, and no, we will never see each other again.  It's the principal and the act of providing (doesn't matter if the cost is $2 or $200).  It's the engineers who seem to have a problem with this...and one lawyer.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Too Many Choices

Have you seen this op-ed in The New York Times?  It's interesting and I agree with it.  When people are faced with too many choices, they can't make decisions (that theory really came from The Paradox of Choice, which I have read, it's a really interesting book).

In terms of dating, I don't think technology has helped us.  It's made finding people more difficult because there are too many choices (not all good choices).  People rely on the digital world (texting, email, etc) so much that people aren't good at interacting with others face to face anymore (out of practice, never learned, blah blah).

And people go into checklist mode when they meet someone from an online source (job, education, hobbies, blah blah).  I remember when it used to be, "Bobby, in my math class is so cute and funny."  There was no, "Does Bobby have hopes to be blah when he grows up?  Does he plan on going ivy or state?  Does he swing dance on the weekends?"

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

And This Is Why You Can't Get A Girl

I went to a networking event and met a friend of a friend.  He asked me what I do for a living.  I told him.  His response, "So, you add no value; you're basically useless and just take up space."  Instead of arguing with him, defending myself, whatevering with him; I simply turned around and started talking to someone else.  He tried to get my attention for the next ten minutes.  I ignored him.

I know he wasn't trying to be a d*ck, but he was a d*ck (I've met a lot of these types of guys); kinda reminds me of Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory.  I did think, "And this is why you can't get a girl" about a hundred times even after I got home.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Date Conversation Topics

Time magazines talks about stuff like dating?  I guess so, see here.  Lol, controversial topics, such as STDs and abortion are suggested.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Smart People And Dating

One of my excellent readers shared this link as a comment on an older post.  I think everyone should take a look at it.  It's from 2009 and explains the SF area pretty well.  Almost everyone (guys and gals) I meet went to top tier schools, have impressive jobs, etc.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Another Horrible Date

And, that was another horrible date.  My dating hiatus has been very useful because instead of being angry by this horrible date, I feel nothing.  The guy was smart and was trying to be nice and sociable.

The minute I saw him, I knew it would never work; he lied about his height and might be shorter than me.  Other reasons the date sucked:
  • He was late
  • He kept looking at my chest (I wasn't even wearing a low cut shirt)
  • He talked about work and basically told me his resume (this was about 80% of the date)
  • He actually asked, "When was your last relationship?  Why did it end?  How long were you together?  How did you meet?  How would you raise your kids?"
  • He didn't pick up on the fact (or he just didn't care) that I didn't want to answer those questions and kept going back to them every time I changed the subject
  • He kept giving me unsolicited advice (if I were you, I'd...)
  • He was trying to project his interests on me (no really, you'd like scotch, why don't you like scotch, are you sure you don't like scotch)

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Monday, August 11, 2014

No, I Don't Think So

I love it when a guy wants to meet in a coffee shop right under his office (which happens to be about 2 miles from where I am).  No, I don't think so.  I suggested at our midpoint.  Let's see what he does with that.  Btw, yes, at this point, I would not be surprised if he simply disappears.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

On Second Thought

Going back to the east coast probably isn't the best idea.

Although my dating life would improve (more than 80% sure on this, I mean, come on, look at the guys I've met in SF), I don't think that's enough to account for things I don't like (noise, crowds, working like a dog, having dinner at 11pm which is apparently an acceptable dinner time, etc).

Going to table the whole moving thing right now.  Bigger fish to fry, like figuring out my dream job.

Thursday, August 7, 2014


Lol, just watched an episode of HBO's Looking (show about gay guys in SF).  In the first episode, two guys were on a date at Press Club.  If this show depicts how gay dating is in SF works, it's pretty similar to some of the dates I've been on.  On the date, one guy was being interrogated (questions included "How old are you?  I forgot what it said on your profile" and "are you drug and disease free?"), and he said, "I feel like I'm having a physical."

Instead of fighting the whole interrogation dates, I'm just going to expect it...maybe this way, I won't be as irked if it happens.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Back To Dating In SF

No more east coast trips (or trips in general) scheduled for the rest of 2014 (of course, this can change).  So, back to dating in SF.  I am still cutting back on the amount of time I plan to invest.  Have not been able to meet up with two SF guys over the last 3+ weeks because our schedules haven't matched up.  Honestly, not excited about either of these guys.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Friday, August 1, 2014

Okay, Women Of New York

Okay, women of New York; I've heard a lot of complaints about the lack of men in NYC.  I'm quite surprised because several very successful men wanted to meet even though they knew I might not move back to NYC (and no, it didn't seem like their end goal was a one night stand).  If you think dating is bad in NY, I dare you to come to SF, I think you'll appreciate NY men more afterwards.

Although two out of three of my New York dates brought up their exes, the dates were still better than the ones I've had in SF because I wasn't interrogated.  They knew how to have a conversation versus asking a million questions (what do you do, where did you go to school, how long have you been living in San Francisco, where do you live, etc) for hours without taking a breath.  Also, the NY guys I met were more confident, so the guys didn't permeate nervous energy, which makes both parties really uncomfortable.