I was thinking about comments I got from a previous post. I was trying to understand why some "men" block and don't respond if you can't meet up with them right then and there. One of the comments talked about how some men are just bored or traveling; fine, that explains their need for instant gratification.
What bothers me is how some men might think a woman is "playing games" when she isn't available right that second. When did these "men" turn into such insecure babies? Instead of giving a woman (or anyone) the benefit of the doubt that she leads a full life with a full schedule, these "men" assume "she's playing games?" Perhaps their egos also got a little bruised because they could also be thinking "she doesn't like me because if she really did, she'd drop everything to see me right now."
Well, perhaps there's nothing to like. These "men" must have very dull and unimpressive lives if they can drop everything at any given moment to meet up someone. Or, they must be terribly insecure and paranoid if they automatically assume the woman is playing games. I'm really tired of people expecting the worst out of human kind.
These "men," please block me because I don't ever want to meet you. Essentially, "Thank you for letting me know that you are not worth the two minutes it takes for me to write an email or however many minutes I'd waste meeting you in person."
I think you are misunderstanding here. You don't reply to each message, right ? This is the same. You don't reply or might even block people who you don't want to talk because of not interesting enough and you have other options. I do the same after one message. If the message is not what I like, I block and move on. I have plenty of options. So, not available when I want, sorry, but you had your chance.
ReplyDeleteThis started out with someone blocking me because I didn't reply in about four hours. Would block a woman because she didn't write back to you within 4-6 hours? And let's say you asked a woman out for tonight and she couldn't make it tonight. Would you block her then?
DeleteIt all depends. If I'm looking for fun tonight with a "new" girl, my standards are different. I just want fun. So I'll write a lot of women and see who has time and is willing to come out. I'll block the other ones that did not have time and do not meet the standards for dating. Has nothing to do with insecurity or the fact that I'm thinking that you are playing games. I just don't waste time on you. I'm not saying this is always the case, I'm just giving you a different view.
DeleteYes, getting blocked by guys looking for "fun" is perfect! I'm looking for a bit more than just "fun"
DeleteThe problem with online dating is that everyone thinks there are lots of options so they don't treat any one person seriously.
ReplyDeleteUnless a guy thinks you had a really strong text connection, he may just decide it's not worth his time and he's on to the next one. I don't condone it but this is just how it goes.
Fully agree.
DeleteA guy who doesn't want to waste his time doesn't deserve a chance. That's also perfect and a great time saver from the ladies side
DeleteIt happens to guys too. One of my guy besties is currently single and a real catch - attractive, funny, wants to get married and have kids in the next few years. He often gets Bumble messages late Saturday night from girls wanting him to meet up at a bar. He's not interested in one night stands so when he suggests meeting for coffee another time instead, most of these particular girls don't respond.
ReplyDeleteIt's frustrating for him too. It would be nice if people stated their expectations up front, like in their profile, or if there were apps specifically just for hooking up.
I didn't know this happens to the guys too!
DeleteApps for hooking up will not work. Only men will enlist. Women do not need/want this app. They can use all other apps/bars/grocery store for this, without dealing with the slut image
DeleteThis is very insightful of you. Girls have a harder time admitting that they just want no strings attached sex. Guys have no problem with that because it is perceived as normal "guy" behavior. When a girl admits she's just there for sex, she's perceived as a slut. Double standards. Is it slowly changing? Asking as a long married 30 something woman interested in how it's out there in the "wild".
DeleteI'm not one of the girls looking for no strings attached sex, so I can't answer this question. If other readers are able to, chime in
DeleteI don't think it has changed or will change very fast. Slutshaming is mosly done by women and there is a reason for it. If more and more girls are putting out fast, the other ones will have a harder time to compete, if they don't want to do this. Men have close to no reason to slutshame. The more it is accepted, the easier it is to get laid.
DeleteThere ARE men who say they don't respect women that put out quickly or say these women aren't "wife material." So men do slut shame. Just maybe not as overtly as other women do.
DeleteWomen who are looking for casual sex probably do better in a friends-with-benefits scenario because presumably, the other person is a friend and trustworthy.
Sure there are men who do it, but that"s what "mostly" means. I don't think thaty saying "this is not wife material" is shaming. I will not marry or date a smoker, a fat girl, a girl who does not want kids, a girl who is from a different religion. But I won't shame them. I just don't marry them for the choices they made. Just like some girls don't marry me for the choices I made or make. And that's fine. It a huge difference between I won't marry you for it, or I think you should be ashamed of yourself for making them.
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