Ew, Don't Look and Definitely Don't Touch

I went to the mall today. A greasy, 5' tall, construction worker type guy grabbed my arm as I walked by. Eeek!! I turned around, screamed "Ew," and gave him the verbal beatdown of the decade.

Does grabbing a girl's arm in the street actually work for guys? Don't look and definitely don't touch. Next time, the beatdown won't be verbal...

Strip Much?

Because I am still a beginner, the teachers prohibit me from dancing with others (for their safety) when we work on something complicated; no complaints here. Unfortunately, I am usually banished to a large supporting building column, i.e. pole in the middle of the room. The teachers have nicknamed me "resident pole dancer." It's quite humorous since I actually know how to pole dance and am probably better at it than salsa...a little fact I won't be sharing in class. I probably look more like a stripper than ballroom dancer with the whole gettup (shorts, t-shirt, strappy heels, pole). This is just too much; I might give some poor old guy a heart attack.

Like Feet?

New outfit? Come hither...
I started wearing heels in salsa class tonight. It's much easier to twirl in heels vs. sneakers. I don't like to wear heels. It attracts too much negative attention (as if I need more of it). Every single guy wanted to dance with me tonight. Chinese dude kept giving me the I want you, come hither look. Uh, no dude, seriously NO...I thought about charging him by the hour for the way he was looking at me. One guy tried to give me a foot massage when I kicked the heels off...keep in mind I have seen him at 4 different classes and not once did he acknowledge my presence. LOL.

Many guys commented on my heels and asked me why I haven't worn them to class before. Uh, well, this is the exact reason. I don't want them thinking about my feet when they are going to bed tonight. I am already wearing shorts because it's so freaking hot in the studio. 3 women asked me if I am a runner. Nah, I just have manly legs that can crack walnuts, thanks for asking.

Theories

• Guys who take dance class have serious foot fetishes
• It's better to get 0 attention than negative attention. I have high self esteem and don't need to be leered at. Yeah yeah, some of you disagree (mostly guys I am sure), but let me put it this way. What's better: 1) no attention or 2) a really large unattractive sweaty woman staring at you? Ahh, I just proved my point

Mystery Solved

Got a text earlier this afternoon from Guy 2. Process of elimination tells me Guy 3 was the jackss that texted me at 2:30am and failed to mention his name/where we met. Obviously, I am not too fond of Guy 3. Screw it, he's done.

Now the text from Guy 2 also referred to my coat and how fabulous it was.

There has been way to much talk about this coat for me not to describe it...blue shiny plasticy trench. It's a freaking raincoat.

So heard back from all 3 guys, kinda surprised I haven't heard from Girl 1. I would have thought I'd hear from her first...

Twilight Mania

I am 3 years behind on Twilight Mania. I have finally seen the movie and read all the books by Stephenie Meyer. If you are curious and would like to skim free PDFs of the books, google "twilight meyer pdf" or something similar to that.

Disclaimer: I am not promoting the dissemination of copyrighted materials and did not post the PDFs.

I read 2, 3, and 4 via PDF, but will end up buying all of them. It's not fun reading off a computer screen.

Twilight Series

Book 1 - Twilight

Book 2 - New Moon

Book 3 - Eclipse

Book 4 - Breaking Dawn

Twilight DVD will be released late March. New Moon might be in theaters November 2009. Fun!!

Guys Guys Guys

Sigh. I think guys go to dance class to meet girls. Now this is all good and fine, but could the guys be a little bit more realistic? Let's say you are a 50 year old dude, do you really think I go to class to see you or to learn something?

Ugh. I have a fan club and it's growing. I am not even close to being a good dancer, yet people are more than happy to let me trample all over their toes. There is the 5'5" Chinese guy with broken English who is about 37. He wants to know where I live, exactly what classes I go to, and what I like to do for fun. Today he thought he was the bomb because I was laughing; what he didn't know and what he wouldn't want to hear was what I was laughing at (him). Uh dude, really? Poor guy.

Fine, Course of Action

Even though I haven't figured out who sent me the texts on Sunday, I replied. Turned down drinks, but left it open.

Oh Sh*t

Oh sh*t. The old guy (aka Guy 1) from Saturday night just texted me. If he didn't text me that crap about my coat and drinks late Saturday/early Sunday, who did? Guy 2 or Guy 3? The issues still stand (see bullets from entry below). Why is it that no one could stop fawning over my coat?

Is there a good way to ask "Who are you?"

I don't want to reply to Guy 1. What's better, no response or responding with a polite "No thanks?" He is a friend's friend 3 or 4 times removed. Hmm. I just don't feel like it's not worth my time to have dinner with him...that means a lot coming from an unemployed girl.

Old Fool

Okay, the old attorney guy (aka Guy 1) from last night must be a fool. He texted me at 2:30am to say something along the lines of "If we go out, can you wear that coat you had on again?" Problems with this:

• Text was sent at 2:30am
• "If we go out?" Oh, so he thinks he is the one who will decide this?
  
• Don't tell me what to wear...pervert
  
• Does he think we are on terms where he could just text me and not say, "Hey it's Guy 1, blah blah blah." Or did he think he was the only guy I gave my number to because he is so special? I only figured out it was him because he couldn't stop gushing over my coat last night
  

Around noon, I get another text from old guy, this time apologizing for the 2:30am text and inviting me for drinks. Uh, hello?!?! Wooing without dinner? He's already old and therefore, severly disadvantaged. Now he want's to skip a meal? No wonder he is single; he's not in touch with reality.

Normally I would just ignore this guy for the rest of time. However, since he is a friend of a friend 3 or 4 times removed, am I supposed to respond with a nice blowoff?

Hmm, Bold

I went to a birthday party in the Marina (Circa) last night and there was a surprisingly large amount of bold guys out. This is extremely unusual. I am used to guys that stare at me all night, but never approach and ones that bump into me 30x as a lovely way of getting my attention. Has bumping into girls ever worked for any guy? Come on! Ladies typically appreciate some initiative...this isn't 2nd grade.

I gave out my number to 3 guys and 1 girl. Guys kept buying me drinks and I had a few too many. I know I gave my number to guys I normally wouldn't even acknowledge...lucky them. Of the 4 people, 3 of them had iPhones, sorry Blackberry.

• Guy 1 - attorney, short, looked old...I am thinking over 40 or just aging terribly (why is this guy even at a 20 something year old's birthday party with his 55 year old friend? Better question, why does his 55 year old friend know the 20 something year old?)
  
• Guy 2 - something related to wealth management, tall, seemed nice, maybe early 30s?
  
• Guy 3 - Australian, seemed nice, maybe early 30s?
  
• Girl 1 - nice girl, knows a ton of people, seems like she would be fun to hang out with

Hmm, not too sure if I want any of these guys to call me...

I might still be drunk and I lost my voice, but it was a great night.

President's Day

Went to Boardroom on a Monday night to celebrate President's Day. The problem with local bars? The regulars (like myself).

Hilarious? I think so (some of you probably remember hearing about this tool...patent attorney at a large technology company; however, I after I conducted some online stalking, I really don't think he is a patent attorney).

• Gave this guy my number 8-9 months ago after he followed me around and talked to me for 3+ hours
• Guy never called
• I saw him again 5 months ago and he tried to talked to me. I gave him about 15 minutes of my very scattered attention
• Guy never called
• I saw him again last night and he tried to get my attention. I made 0 eye contact and wouldn't look in his direction even when I was standing 3 feet away from him...haha
• Did this guy really think he still had a chance? He should have been embarrassed to see me...

Analysis/Theory
It's totally cool when guys don't call after 5 minutes of chatting at a bar (not that this happens often). There is a good chance I don't want a call and regret giving out my number.

However, it's horrendous when a random guy talks to me for over let's say 30 minutes and does not call me. Why? He prevented other guys from approaching me in those 30 minutes...ugh, poor return on investment.

Online Stalking / Researching 101

Online Stalking / Researching
I am an excellent online stalker / researcher...it's really a skill. Come on, don't give me that look. I know at least half of you google people you meet at a bar, so it's not just me. PS, google is a great start, but there is so much more out there!!

I usually need 3 pieces of information (assuming all the information is true):

1. First name
2. College or graduate school
3. Company (preferably right now, but past companies work too)

Sometimes 2 out of 3 is enough. Throw this info into www.linkedin.com and www.facebook.com. Voila! Reminder: if you have a Facebook profile and don't want this done to you, turn up all your privacy settings.

What are people lying about?
So far the guys I meet enjoy lying about their age more than anything else. Are there that many old guys in San Francisco trying to reclaim their youths?

What's worse:

1. The guy that lies about his age (I am 34...try 39? Do these guys really think they look that great for their age?)
2. The guy that thinks there is nothing wrong with being over 15 years older (I am 46, so what?)
3. The guy that is at least 10 years older, thought I was 23, and still hit on me?

Want more fun stalking / researching sites?
www.zabasearch.com
www.lookupanyone.com
www.myspace.com (one of my least favorite sites, I always feel like I might get an aneurysm from some of the crap people put on their pages...blinking words, flashing pictures, blaring music, ugh)

Valentine's Day / Night

Should I be concerned?
So some guy came up to me at Northstar and said, "We party. You look like you party. Do you party?" Uh, do I always look f*cked up? I don't even party that much, but when I do, I go big. I haven't partied for 2 weeks. Hmm, I guess that really doesn't help my case.

Main Characters from the evening:

• The party guy - 35+, has 2 residences (brag brag), and does some kind of IPO something or other (brag brag, something to brag about in this economy? No), invited me to barhop with him and his pals for the rest of the evening, I declined the invite
• The party guy's friend - 25?, works in technology, he was trying to say "My d*ck is bigger than his" in Chinese. Too bad I don't know how to say d*ck in Chinese
• The gay guy - he wanted to make me is hag (gay guys rule)
• The NY banker wannabe - okay, I really thought he was gay, but he swore up and down that he isn't. He had that arrogant NY assh*le vibe...I couldn't wait to get away from him
• My roommate's friend (who I have never met before) - nice guy, but creepy (which I did share with my roommate)

Observation/Analysis/Theory
Guys love to brag. They think this is how they need to behave to get girls. Okay, fine, sometimes it works...maybe a lot of times. It really depends what the guy is bragging about. Houses, cars, jets = great. How much debt he has or his superior computer programming skills = run far far away.

There is a huge difference between bragging and lying though. If a guy lies and a girl figures it out, does the guy think the girl will stick around because she has become enamored with him? Yeah right.

Valentine's Day, Ick

Theory
Valentine's Day should be renamed "Open Hunting Day." I am truly shocked that some of my male friends have gotten through 30 years of life without knowing Valentine's Day = easy prey. There are sad single girls who believe "I am single on Valentine's Day and I am going to find me a man tonight."

I have never liked Valentine's Day (and no, this isn't because I am a single girl thank you very much). I just believe in being treated well year round vs. 1 day out of 365 days.

Pre Valentine's Day Lunch

I went to a pre Valentine lunch party with my friend Lily at some random office building. Wow, the odds were good, but the goods were odd. Guys outnumbered girls 10 to 1. Unfortunately, the quality of the guys was quite low (think unattractive, combovers, creepy, etc). It was quite difficult to avoid talking to these characters. We were responding with 1 word answers and didn't even answer some questions. We also pulled the "We are so deep in conversation we don't even notice you standing there" which did not work; with the 2 inches separating us, you would think we were lesbians.

We tried to be polite, but these guys resisted rejection to the point where we had to leave. Did they really think they had a shot with us? How does one give off the "I am so not interested in you" vibe to the socially inept?

Theory
There is no such thing as fear of rejection. These guys were different because they didn't realize they were being rejected. However, I really don't think any guy fears rejection. If they want something bad enough, they will get it. They don't fear that big job title or that really fast car, so to fear rejection? Oh please...

Great

I have successfully avoided a boy named Ned for about 2 months. Why? Ned is quite full of himself and a bit of a douche. He has an ivy league education, played college ball, and has a large trust fund.

Ned was angry with me one night because I didn't want to meet him for drinks.
Ned: "I've never had to work this hard to get girls. What is your problem? Are you into girls or something?"
Me: "You should have called one of them, I really gotta get going. Bye!"

Analysis/Theory
He is so fabulous that I must be a lesbian because I don't want him? Right. Way to be full of yourself buddy. Arrogance = bad and money can only do so much. Money usually enhances the package, but if a guy totally sucks, money won't do sh*t.

So today, my roommate decided to instant message Ned and tell him I said hello. Ned responded with "Hello" quite quickly. I said, "No!! Oh no" and that also got transmitted via IM. Ned replied with "Of course." LOL

SF Is For Singles? How Accurate Is This?

Rankings
San Francisco is consistently ranked one of the best places for singles. Forbes actually made it #2 on their annual "Best Cities For Singles." Areas examined: "number of singles, nightlife, culture, cost of living alone, job growth, online dating activity and coolness."

Chart from the Forbes article
http://www.forbes.com/lists/2008/3/forbeslife-cx_singles08_San-Francisco_2425.html:
Singles 1
Nightlife 12
Coolness 3
Culture 4
Job Growth 24
Online Dating 13
Cost Of Living Alone 39

Analysis

San Francisco ranks 1 for the number of single people. Is this really a good thing? Is everyone single because there aren't good ways to meet other singles, therefore people stay single and don't get into relationships? Or is it because a the majority of people here are undesirable?

What I have seen

As a single girl, I find SF dating to be quite difficult. There are definitely a lot of guys, but many of them are p*ssies or d**chebags (for lack of better descriptors). The odds are good, but the goods are odd (for those of you who might not get this...quantity is good, but quality is bad).

I have yet to meet a male or female SF resident who agrees with SF being a great scene for singles. The guys complain that there are not enough girls (which seems to be true since guys outnumber girls about 4:1 at every bar I have ever been to).

SF has great weather, public transportation, greenery, scenic views, etc...but a singles scene?

More Recovery

My friend Hercules has left after spending more than a week here.

Week in Review:

• Ate at some great restaurants
• Witnessed barely dressed women (think feather headdresses, bras, and thongs) dance on a bar at a restaurant
  
• Secured party favors
• Drank excessively
• Found misplaced party favors after drinking all night and visiting 5 bars by retracing our steps. After an hour of combing the city by foot, Hercules found it. How amazing is that??
• Ended up in a whorehouse in North Beach (accidentally)