His Last Chance

This guy who was keeping me on the hook is back again.  I thought I was so bored with him that I wouldn't even want to see him .  I was wrong, meaning my momentum theory is wrong or I like this guy way more than I thought I did.  Or, when he's out of site, he's out of my mind and the reverse, which doesn't depend on my level of interest?

I'd normally tell women to run from a guy who doesn't seem interested.  The whole time he was MIA, he did invite me to startup related group activities every week when he was up in the city.  He lives in South Bay and works in the startup world in South Bay,  He explained that he wanted to see me, couldn't one on one, and thought group activities would be better than not seeing me at all.

I know he could be full of sh*t and I'm fairly certain he's not dating other women.  I feel like something has shifted and my disinterest, being busy with my own life, and boredom has caused him to freak out (some of my guy friends purposely seem really busy just to see how much the girl likes him, if she reacts, blows up his phone, throws temper tantrums, make demands, issue ultimatums, et al). 

Let's see what he does this time around.  It's his last chance!

Dating Momentum

I thought I've talked about this before, but I can't find it anywhere, which brings me to how have I not talked about this before???

So, related to an earlier post, I believe in dating momentum.  Let's say you meet a guy you really like.  You go on a few dates and you continue to like him.  Then you don't see him for a long period of time because of travel, family, friends, illnesses, work, natural disasters, et al.  Even though you really really liked him before, your interest level is almost at zero because you haven't seen him in weeks, months, years, et al.  Because you liked him a lot in the beginning, your interest in him stayed around for a longer period of time, but it's nonexistent when too much time has gone by and the momentum is gone.  You might even be bored.  Is this the same for guys?

Some would argue, but if you are in love with each other, not seeing each other for a long time wouldn't matter and "distance makes the heart grow fonder."  I find that once the momentum is gone, it's hard to get back.

More Dating Apps

More dating apps.  Not using anymore new dating apps for the next several months.  Well, I haven't really used them all that much, but I have heard a huge increase in the number of people finding lasting relationships on Tinder.  Been logging in more often to see what's out there.  So far, nothing interests me.

Ode To Single Ladies

Someone sent this article about single ladies.  It basically talks about all the pros to dating an almost perpetually single lady.  I agree with the list and really appreciate this view, rather than the cat lady stereotype.

I have many lady friends who always have to have a boyfriend.  I do not share in this practice because I care about my time.  Many of these lady friends have almost endless lists of complaints about their current beaus, but continue to date them because they "like to have someone" - this has been the most cited reason.  How about date yourself, spend time with yourself, be by yourself until someone incredible comes along.  There's no need to settle for some guy just because you want to have someone.

Right Back At Him

I've mentioned this man before.  He's the one who I think is "keeping me on the hook" because he invites me to group activities, but not out on dates.  Well, right back at him.  I'm putting him on the hook too!  LOL.  If I were to see him again, I think I'd reignite his interest in me.  I liked him, but those feelings aren't exactly strong right now.  Next time I see him, it might reignite my interest or it might not.

To Be Fair

To be fair, this man does invite me to group activities, one on one dates are rare.  Is he cheap?  Is he unsure if I'd want to see him one on one?  Is he both?

Bored

Ladies, is this just me or pretty normal?

I get very bored, very fast when I think a guy is trying to keep me "on the hook."  This is usually the guy who stays in pretty good contact via texts, calls, emails, smoke signals, et al,  talks about doing things in the future without specifying a day, and you don't actually go on dates.

I think there is a guy trying to keep me "on the hook" and I'm bored.  If he really wanted to, he might be able to turn it around?  I don't know.  Would a grand gesture help?

Happy St Patty's Day

Yes, another amateur drinking night.  For those who celebrate, have fun and be careful out there.

Go With The Flow

I've been trying to "go with the flow" instead of "make things happen" to see if there it makes a difference.  This applies to dating, working, et al.  I think I'm in a funk.

New York Couples In San Francisco

Notice how 75% of these SF power couples met in New York, not San Francisco, but that's where they live now.  I didn't pay much attention to the "power couple" aspect, as much as, the story of how and where they met.

All The Single Ladies

Just overheard two women talking about how they know millions of beautiful and exceptional single women in San Francisco.  They also said, San Francisco is great if you are a 40 something year old gay man.

For the past 5+ years, I have consistently heard about the wonderful SF women and how they are very very single.  What do your friends who live in other cities say about their cities?  I've heard this about SF SO MUCH!

Posers

I've alluded to this in previous posts, but I really do think it deserves it's own post.  Facebook, Instagram, Foursquare, and anywhere else you can check in and make your life seem off the charts fantastic invites posers.  I know people who are very unhappy, but always post themselves smiling with balloons and rainbows, and whatever else to make it seem like their lives are the best and they are ecstatic.  I hope they aren't trying to make others feel bad and their "friends" see through these attempts at projecting greatness.

Live your life.  Stop caring about what others are doing.  Stop counting how many likes you get.  Stop looking at your phone ALL the time.

Dating Today

By popular demand and one of my readers, TJ; here's an article on "dating" today.  It basically talks about dating today and how many are always on the lookout for the next best thing.  There are simply too many options today, or at least the appearance of too many options.  Just because there are hundreds of thousands of singles on OkCupid, does not mean that the percentages of people you'd be interested in dating are increased.

Although I agree, many people are afflicted with the whole, "what's the next best thing" view on dating, I am not one of them.  I know what I'm looking for and will be more than ecstatic when I actually find it.  I realize, it may not be in the package I had imagined - around my age, tall, ivy educated, et al.  And I think that's something I learned not too long ago.

I've talked smack about facebook and social media a lot in the past, working on another blurb right now.  I do believe it is unfortunate that so many are validating themselves through likes, favorites, upvotes, et al.  And I do hope many have come to realize social media represents the very well curated version of how someone wants to appear, not necessarily how they really are.

Vogue And Silicon Valley

I think it's great that Vogue writers are now talking about dating in Silicon Valley.  When I think of Vogue, I think of high fashion...  The gal in the article talks about dating in Silicon Valley.  She moved here from New York and has seen the same things I've seen - pouting, odds being good, goods being odd, plethora of married men, et al.  Basically, although there are more men than women in the San Francisco Bay Area, dating is not easier here.

I think dating might even be harder in Bay Area because the single men women actually want to date are few and far between.  I've met plenty of guys who look like they haven't showered in weeks, haven't gotten a haircut in months, and haven't shaved in years.  Traditionally speaking, those are not guys women want.  Like the author, I've also met many guys who pout when they don't get their way, and expect you to bow down at their accomplishments and bank accounts.

He Emailed Me

The guy from Saturday night emailed me to say he had a great time at dinner.  He did not ask me for another date.  I will reply with a simple, "Thanks, I had a great time too" message and we will see what he does (I'll wager $20 on him doing nothing, which is absolutely fine).

Dinner Date Recap

Date last night went fine.  He knew how to hold a conversation without using job interview like questions.  He looked like he's in his 20s, which is eye opening because he's in his mid 40s. There was no chemistry.  If he asks me out again, I'll go to give it another shot.  My assessment probably won't change.  Usually you know if there is chemistry within the first five minutes?  Right?