Spotted

Because SF is small, I saw Odie when I was walking down the street on my way home from work.  He was in his car and waved as he drove by.  I see him a lot "randomly" (really close to my office or in my apartment.  As a matter of fact, I heard he was at the apartment most of last night.  Of course he was...

Eeek Small Town!

Eeeeeeekkkk, SF is too small!  I have said this a thousand times.  I saw Dance Guy outside of a bar.  He looked pretty toasted so I don't think he recognized me.  When I see Dance Guy, I think of Rocketman.  I am embarrassed for Rocketman.  It would have been much worse if I saw Rocketman...for those of you that might not remember he was interested in me and I had no clue back then.  When I look back on it now, it looks like it was pretty obvious!  Ooops.

Okay Now Part 2: Locations

Four or five months is a pretty long time.  Some places I have gone...

Places I've visited in San Francisco to scope out the scene:

• Giants baseball game before the Giants won the World Series
• Giants parade after they won the World Series
• A variety of parks ranging from Duboce Park to Huntington Park
• Three different movie theaters
• Laundromat
• Bars in the marina (yuppie bars to dive bars)
• Marina Green
• 49ers football games
• Fort Mason
• Grocery stores (Trader Joe's, Costco, Safeway, Whole Foods)
• Walgreens
• Bars in the financial district
• Restaurants in the financial district
• Plays
• Borders bookstore
• Dentist's office
• Doctor's office
• Library

Where I have gone outside of San Francisco to scope out the scene:

• Santa Row (San Jose, CA)
• Stanford University
• Muir Woods
• Los Angeles

I have done a lot in the last four or so months.  However, I have not seen any appealing guys.  Well, there was that one shirtless guy running in the woods, but how does that help me??  I wasn't going to run with him or trip him up so...

Okay Now Part 1: Guys

Merry Christmas!!  Blogger has this cool "Stats" tab now and it looks like I have more readers than I thought I did.  Okay now, I am seriously going to try to keep up with my posts.  It's been four or five months?  I blame work.  I was able to forensically assemble what has happened/how I spent my time.  Huge loss though, my gal pal/partner in crime left SF for an undetermined period of time...maybe permanently.

Guys (none of them worth discussing, but still kinda funny):

• Oblivious Guy has sent me at least three emails/Facebook messages.  I have not responded to any of them.  I have not responded to any of the 15+ emails he has sent over the past 12 months.  You would think he would get the hint by now
• The Player has sent me text messages and left voicemails.  One of his brilliant ways of trying to get me to respond?  He asked for my email address.  I am serious.  Then he texted me more nonsense.  Then he called me out of nowhere and invited me to go away with him for the weekend.  Huh??
• The Brain is 1000% out of the picture.  He would have to be incredibly deranged to even consider reaching out to me (again being the important word here, pretty sure he has called and texted around the September/October months...I never responded...what a shock).  He knew I didn't like him before so, why in the world would he think I like him now?  Most hilarious?  I may have had a significant part in ending a 15+ year bromance he had with one of his good guy friends.  By the way, me and the good guy friend?  Really close friends.
• Surfer Guy is someone I work with.  I don't think I have mentioned him before, but he is really cute.  He has a girlfriend and is younger, but fabulous to look at.  I think I could cause him and the girlfriend to separate, but that wouldn't be nice (bad karma).  Plus, I don't want to sh*t where I work
• Odie reappeared briefly two months ago?  He invited me to an event and I never heard from him again.  He was supposed to send me the official evite (nope).  I don't know what I did, but I am sure I "rejected" him so subtly that I don't even know what I did (this has been the pattern for the last three years).  As much as I tear Odie apart, this guy still has a chance if he tried!  I think I am going to uncross him off the list.  He is a little on the boring side, but I think that stems from his nervousness
• Guy at a party did not understand my lack of interest (I was backing away, looking wildly around the room, playing with my phone, etc).  I resorted to politely asking him to stop speaking to me.  He was offended
• Guy at Walgreens asked me if I worked there.  I think he was hitting on me.  I ran into him another three times that visit and he kept speaking to me.  I guess this could have worked if he was cute
• Guy at a bar (friend of a friend) propositioned me even though he is married.  Yup, you heard me.  He's only been married for two years?  Shouldn't he be obsessed with his wife?

Cougar

I hope I am not a cougar.  There is a guy who I think has a crush on me...let's call him Work Guy.  He's at least three years younger than me.  He's also really cute...like REALLY.  Hmm.  We'll see how this one unfolds.  I see him outside my office a lot.  Don't mind the view at all.

Her

I think I have been referred to as "her" a lot over the past week.  I met The Brain's girlfriend.  She watched me all night.  Then I decided to really give her a show by talking to and touching her boyfriend.  It's true, I wouldn't have done it if she 1) wasn't watching me or 2) wasn't there at all.  Okay, I know you want to slap the Scarlet A on me, but The Brain didn't seem to mind.  Anyone else think it's strange that The Brain ignored his girlfriend most of the night?

It would be interesting if she stumbles on my blog and figures out my identity.  My chances of getting struck by lightening are higher than this happening since she is not the smartest girl out there.

The Brain is looking for a sign from me...any sign based on the questions he was asking.  If I wanted him back or wanted him to drop his girlfriend, I know he would.  I would hate to be her; glad I am not.

Yeah

Yeah, it's been a while since my last post.  I have gotten into many unideal situations and done some sketchtacular things.

The Brain has purposely placed himself in my path several times over the past few weeks.  That coupled with gallons of alcohol means sketchtacular things.  Yeah, I messed around with him a few times in the past two or three weeks.  Why?  Because I wanted to leave an imprint on his relationship with the girl who could be "the one."  If he has found "the one," what is he doing with me?  Ahh, my point exactly.  "The one" is more like the one he has to settle for because I don't want him.  I would love to get into more details, but fear of my identity being disclosed prevents me from doing so.  Perhaps I should feel bad about these incidents since he does have a girlfriend, but I don't.  I enjoy knowing how weak he really is.  Also, I don't have a boyfriend.  Months ago, I would have considered giving The Brain another chance if he fixed some issues; however, the door has been permanently shut.  Even though we are over, I am still in the same social circle.  I might even see his friends more than he does, bet that makes him happy.

I hear The Brain has been telling mutual friends how in love I am with him.  That's so cute.  I don't think I have ever met a guy as delusional as him.  If he were smart, he would stay out of my way.  I am tired of his temper tantrums, game ruining, and other behaviors indicative of a 5 year old or jealous boyfriend.  I have also heard that he he does not want to bring his girlfriend around me.  I can only guess why, possible reasons:

• Fear that I will tell her about his philandering ways
• She has no idea that I am an ex
• He is embarrassed (she is not what most people would consider attractive)
• His inability to hide his feelings for me (he stares at me, always has to be near, and prevents other guys from talking to me)

Enough of The Brain for now, I am sure there will be more.

I ran into Odie a few weeks back...he looked terrible.

Speaking of roommate's friends...there is such a thing as trying too hard.  This is not Odie, but it is a guy who is at our apartment all the time and forces conversation with me...even when logic would tell him his attempts are futile, for example, when I am using a hairdryer.

What?

What?  Does this work?  A guy sent me a Facebook email about meeting me at a party.  Well, he obviously saw my picture and there is someone out there who looks exactly like me?  No, I don't think so.  Anyway, he claimed that we met at a party and that he wants to hang out sometime.  I actually wrote back...yes, you are wondering why (because I don't want guys who think they have a chance out there when they don't).  I told him I wasn't at the party and have no idea who he is.

Now, I think he was just browsing Facebook and decided I could be someone he wants to meet.  Irritating.

Warm Weather

The weather is warm and this usually blows up my phone/email. 

Oblivious Guy has been emailing me about once a month for the last eight months.  I haven't responded to any of his messages.

The Player has made a reappearance.  I hear he is fresh out of a relationship.  Well, Player...I didn't want to date you then and I don't want to date you now.

Trouble in Paradise?

Trouble in paradise...The Brain and his girl are having problems.  This is great!  I wanted him to be unhappy/unlucky in love and he is.  What a fantastic soap opera.

This is no shocker.  He has not been very well behaved.  Last time I saw him, he openly propositioned me.  Then, I heard he sent some dirty text messages to a friend of a friend.  Cheaters never win.

Aggressive vs Passive

I have said many times that I want an aggressive guy.  I've been traveling a bit over the past few weeks.  I have encountered aggressive guys.  They were aggressive and egotistical, not the combination I am seeking.  They just didn't understand "not interested."  At this point, I am not sure what is worse...aggressive guy with no chance in the world or passive guy that does have a chance.

The grass is always greener...

Romeo

Guys and gals, I have got a question for you...where do I find Romeo?  Where can I go that would increase my chances of finding the guy I am looking for?  Bars, clubs, and lounges are fun, but the percentage of guys I meet who I want to date is low. 

So, where should I go (day or night) to meet sober guys?

Part 4

I would like for this to be the end of The Brain saga, but I don't think it is.  This is Part 4 or so.

Over the past month, I have been trying to balance going out and work; work is winning.  Of course I have also gone out, but I have not been found by what I am looking for (yet).

I have run into The Brain a lot; by "run in" I mean he has found out where I would be and appeared.  He has also asked me out to dinner; no I did not go (and what a jerk; he has a girlfriend, remember)?  I don't hate him, I would just rather surf the net, wash my hair, paint my nails, clean the house, etc. than talk to him.  Many of you are thinking, go for the free meal.  No thanks, vacuuming and washing dishes are more fun and a better use of my time than listening to him preach about whatever he thinks is important.

I have said it before and I will say it again...I don't want to marry him, but I also don't want him to find his spouse before I find mine.  Well, I am happy to say, I know for a fact he is not very interested in his current girlfriend (a mutual friend let this cat out of the bag).  Just knowing that shackles are being put on his wrists and ankles makes me smile; welcome to cell block H.

I know good things are coming my way.  I can feel it.  It feels like new guys with real potential!  LOL.

Control

Let's call this Part 3 of The Brain tale (what was wrong with him and us...I have to be specific because he is still hanging around).

The Brain was controlling and I am not the girl who is controlled.  He wanted a girlfriend who would blindly follow him around, never ask questions when things sounded peculiar, and agree with everything he said.  For those of you who actually know me, how well do you think I fit this profile?  Hah!!!  I am the polar opposite.  He thought he could change me; that worked well...no, not at all actually.  I schooled him.  He wanted me to be weak and needy.  How can anyone want to spend their time with that?  How bad is his self esteem if he wants a girl who can't do anything for herself and makes him the center of her universe?

I am much happier without him; that really says something.  He was supposed to add, not subtract happiness from my life.  I see him about once a month, though it has been more recently (why he is orchestrating this, I don't know).  I should probably feel a little bad because he sees me one hundred times happier without him; well, that and because I know he is still in love with me.  I don't feel bad for him; this is part of growing up (which he hasn't fully done yet) and a lesson he needs to learn (not that I actually believe he will learn).

His current girl will serve as a patch.  Maybe they will end up together forever (not happily ever after...note the difference) because he wants someone he can control and she is easily controlled.  Just like you, I will tune into this soap...

Pretty

Ever notice how ugly girls all have their friends commenting on their facebook pictures about how pretty they are?  Hah.

Friends Like These

With friends like these...three of The Brain's friends have asked me out since we broke up; I believe another one is about to.  One waited two days, one waited one week, one waited one and a half months, and the other has been sending out feelers for the last month or so.  The first guy, I turned down, but he has asked me out another three times since then.  The second guy, I played dumb.  The third guy, I turned into a group event...so, no it was not a date.  There is nothing wrong with these guys, I just don't find any of them attractive.  I have not had a problem dating guys I am not attracted to before, but that's what got me into this mess in the first place (dating someone because they meet all the criteria I am looking for).  I need to add attraction to the list.  For those who wonder about the fourth guy, I will go out with him if he asks.  I am not doing it to be unkind.  I could be interested in this fourth guy.  Okay, it doesn't hurt that it would kill The Brain if he found out...

The Brain's friends going after his ex girlfriend is incredulous!  That tells me either 1) his friends are disloyal jerks or 2) he is not that great of a friend and they can't wait to run him down.  My girls would never date a guy I used to date because they actually want to keep me as a friend (and live).  And I would never date a guy my girls have dated.

Strange

This is strange.  I am hearing more about and from The Brain now that he is in a new relationship.  He wants to hang out in a group setting all the time.  I wouldn't consider us the best of friends, so what is with this wanting to see me stuff?  Strange.  I have no issue with him having a new girl, but something tells me he wants me to have a problem with it.  His friends should really advise him not to see me.  His friends have told my friends that he is not over me.  So he likes torture?

As for the girlfriend.  Maybe it will work out, maybe it won't.  If you ask me, something smells like rebound...

Right

I am right and I have proof.  I always thought there was something off with The Brain while we were together.  He seemed like a philanderer.  Well, he is.  He cheated on his most recent girlfriend with me (I believe they are still together because she doesn't know).  No I will not tell her, it is not my place and I don't need the chaos that would ensue.

I don't know the new girl, but I feel for her.  The whole time he was telling her lies and making it seem like he was absolutely interested in her, he was calling me.  He will get his in the end, yes I believe in karma.

And remember how I talked about the axe falling in my last post?  Well, I do believe he sensed it because for the last few weeks (more like months) he was trying to get me back, he must have known the outlook was stormy.  He tried pretty hard in the standard passive San Francisco way.  He will not get me back, especially with this new information.

How does settling feel?  I don't know, someone should ask The Brain.

That Weird Feeling Again

No future for The Brain.  Yes, I have seen him since the last time I posted.  I have decided, it would take a lot for me to change my mind.  I truly believe guys have the ability to sense the axe falling.

That Weird Feeling

Remember the weird feeling I spoke of in this post?  Well, I think The Brain has felt it.  Over the past few weeks I have been thinking about The Brain and if it could have ever worked.  I think the answer is NO.  Maybe we are meant to be friends or acquaintances?

I truly don't know what my opinion is of him.  I know he still likes me.  I know I haven't heard the last from him.  I know because he has been calling me and doing attention grabbing things on Facebook.

Jealousy

The Brain tried to get a jealous reaction out of me on at least three different occasions that I can remember.  Why?  Because he is insecure and wanted to be validated and assured.  I did not give him the reaction he was looking for.  If you genuinely like someone, why in the world would you try to make them feel bad, nervous, or annoyed?

Has getting a girl jealous ever worked for a guy?  The girls I know get mad and leave the picture.  If that is considered "working," then it works.

Insecurity is an interesting topic.  I have either a) not met many insecure guys or b) met a lot of insecure guys who are great at hiding it.  If a guy doesn't think he is good, hot, rich, smart...enough for me, why should I want to continue dating him?  He knows himself better than I do.  I'll believe him...he's not good enough for me.

I am confident.  I do not think I am the prettiest, smartest, skinniest, nicest, funniest...girl in San Francisco, but I think I can hold my own.  Yes, one of the reasons guys like me is because I am confident.  However, this is also something they can't handle?  Preposterous!

A friend once told me something like, if a guy tries/makes you feel insecure, let your insecurity be your guide...I think she left out "to get the f--k out."

The Brain

How many parts are there to The Brain tale?  I don't know.  It's not even entirely over even though we are broken up.

The Brain was a great con artist and great on paper...smart, successful, pursued me, funny, easy to be with, etc.  Well, after 15+ dates, I learned that I was totally, utterly wrong.  Yes, he is still great on paper, but his personality is not what I had thought it would be.  He could win an award.  High strung comes to mind as an incredibly accurate descriptor.  As does critical and negative.  For those of you who know me, yes, I can be critical, but I am certainly not negative.  I do not appreciate negativity and try to stay as far away from it as possible.

I continued dating him because he was great on paper.  Also, he is in love with me, and wants to marry me.  Those are incredibly asinine reasons to date a guy and I will be the first to admit it.

I do not regret dating him, but I do feel like I have been tricked...I don't like it.

The Story

I was MIA for a while.  What happened?

Felix
I did not go out with Felix for Valentine's Day.  Strange situation really...last time I spoke with him (late February) he said something about wanting to get together.  I haven't heard from him and I haven't contacted him.  He is a shady character.  I remember he fibbed about missing a party sometime in the Fall and totally forgot that he had lied about why he bailed.  He hasn't been a candidate for a while now, but I don't think that is the last I have heard from him.  It's too bad...he is incredible on paper!

Odie
I hadn't seen Odie since the last time I mentioned him in the blog; that means it was before early February.  Well, he has made a few appearances in the last two weeks.  I am not sure if or what his game plan is.  This has been going on for as long as I have known him...two years?  My patience has been gone and well, he is a friend...dreaded word, right guys?

Oblivious Guy
Oh yeah, him.  I got an email from him a couple of weeks ago.  Should he be institutionalized? 

The Brain
This is a much longer story.  I went out with him for Valentine's Day and ended up dating him, as in he was my boyfriend.  Some of it was good, some of it was bad.  We are not together anymore, but run into each other at least once a month.  I will get into more detail in the next couple of posts...there is just so much to tell.

Come on universe, please send me new guys...preferably ones I could see forever with.

Behind

Yes, I have been very behind on posts...like over two months behind.  I will start working on this over the next few nights...

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is around the corner.  Is this why The Brain AND Felix are contacting me?  Felix???  Yes.  I think Cupid must have shot him in the ass.

I have seen The Brain a lot...maybe too much.  I need to be MIA.

I have not seen Felix, but I have spoken to him more in the past two weeks than I have in a year.

Is There Something In The Air?

The Brain has been asking me out regularly...this is expected.

Felix has been contacting me a lot...this is not expected.

Is there something in the air?

I will continue to date both of them, but we all know there will be a time when I have to choose.  I am not looking forward to that day.

How?

I am not off the market yet, but pretty close.  How did Felix know to call me before it is really too late?  He called me earlier this week to ask me to dinner for the upcoming weekend.  I said yes; not because he is doing better than The Brain, but because he is still calling me years (or months that feel like years) later.

I think guys get this weird feeling when they know they are about to take it up the %ss.  I want to know what kind of magical powers Felix thinks he has.  Does he really think he will get the girl because he seems THAT interested?

Yes, I have seen The Brain since my last posting.  He is doing really well.

Not That One

So, I spoke about a blast from the past (thinking Odie).  Well, that may still happen, but I was contacted by Arthur.  NOOOOOOOOO.  I will not respond.  I don't like him even in a "friend" way.  What did he do wrong again?  He is bitter and does not fully understand how to be a friend vs guy pretending to be a friend to get a date with me.

I have seen The Brain a lot since my last post.  Maybe too much?  He wants to see me everyday.  I am not there yet, will I get there?  Unsure.  He is pretty cool though, so we'll see.

Felix is MIA and will be in for a rude awakening when he finally decides to reach out to me.  By then, I will probably be off the market.  Hah, sucks to be him.

Blast From The Past

Will there be a blast from the past?  Odie has been asking about me.

I bet Felix is next.

Meanwhile, The Brain has been calling, texting, emailing, and inviting me out.

Felix and Odie...are you doing your best?

When On A Date

I am not sure about The Brain.  He is fun, but maybe he is more fun as a friend?  We went on the date and it went well for the first half.  Then he got serious.  I am not a psychiatrist, so why tell me about baggage, issues, etc?  No, the list below is not all him, but he did touch upon a few.

Issues to Avoid:

• Ex Anything (wife, girlfriend, fiance, dog, house...)
• Childhood hardships involving siblings, parents, school, friends, society, neighbors, yadda yadda
• Other girls
  
• Hair loss
• Stories that take a long time to tell, have no point, are boring, and have no end
• Perceived racism (all of you were pushing me to date an Asian guy and all of them have talked about this)
• An extreme amount of ethnic pride (see if a white guy did this, we would show him to the next klanmember meeting, but this is okay for Asian guys)?
• Money (how much things cost, how one does/doesn't have it, and how expensive things are)
• Inability to fix things (sinks, cars, washers, windows...)
  
• Disinterest in cars, yachts, planes, robots, and other types of machinery
• Anything else that would make one look like a p#ssy
• How one has no "game"
• Major regrets
  

It looks like SF guys just don't know how to date.

I think I might be depressed.  Dating can be fun, but it hasn't been...  I need to find new guys, where am I supposed to find them?

Scared

I am scared.  I have an official first date with The Brain over the weekend.  I am not scared that I am going on a date.  I am scared because I can say with an 85% confidence interval that he wants to marry me.  No, a ring will not be thrown into a glass of champagne over the weekend; not this weekend...

So what am I afraid of?  Everything.  Yes, I bitch and moan about not being able to find decent guys in SF, but now that a decent guy has found me, I turn into a high school girl.  I am so used to dating guys with no potential that when one with potential shows up, I freak out.

This poor guy has it worse off.  He's already nervous around me in non-date settings and I would bet that it is only multiplying as the days go by.

Is he "the one" I have been waiting for?  Is there something missing?  Where is that checklist?  He has the brains, sense of humor, wit, money, education, manners...

What is scarier:

1. Discovering he is "the one" OR
   
2. Discovering he is not "the one"

 Is this something I really want to discover right now?  I want to procrastinate...

The Brain Pulls Way Ahead

The Brain is really winning me over.  Sorry Felix, looks like you really are on your way out...

I have seen The Brain a couple of more times since my last post.  I am over the whole not sure if I would ever want to see him naked thing.  I think he's been lifting cause his guns are huge...superb!  He's suave, too suave?  Is he a player?

New Year

Okay, it is a new year and I am behind on posts.  We will take a look into what has happened in the last 2-3 weeks.

Felix

I heard Felix out and have seen him a couple of times (and I am right about the 48 hours thing).  He has stepped up, but I am not entirely certain that it's more than a fluke.  Furthermore, still not sure about him.  Just like anyone else, he has some very good qualities and very bad qualities.  I am going to have to give it more time to see how they stack up against each other. It would be disappointing if even more bad qualities appear without any good...  Disappointing because I would have wasted so much time and energy.

From what I have heard he is absolutely entirely interested in me, but I don't see it.  He's very nice, but distracted, stressed, unhappy, whatever, and it shows.  At times I find myself catching his mood from seeing him (not good).  He was doing so well when we just hung out as friends and on our first date.  I know he is going through some stuff right now, but is that a symptom or a cause?  And even if one is going through stuff, that wouldn't change them from being optimists at heart to pessimists right?  I think he might be a pessimist, but hid it incredibly well for the entire time I have known him.

Ivan brought this to my attention a while ago, Felix is a "bitter bachelor."  He's bitter because some girl from the past tore him apart and his personal life is not where he had hoped it would be at this age/point in time.  Well, a little advice for Felix, if he keeps this up, he will only become more bitter with time because he will not get that wife, 2.5 kids, and a picket fence.

The Brain

I have seen The Brain once or twice over the last couple of weeks.  More importantly though, he emails and texts me even when we have no plans.  He just wants to say hello and see how I am doing.  I know I am on his mind and that might be the most important thing when I consider guys.  I know he is 100% interested and actively trying to find ways to see me again.

From my limited interactions with The Brain, I think he is genuinely a cool guy.  He's funny and makes me smile, so he's got the right personality.  He knows how to joke and let go of ghosts/issues which makes him laid back and relaxed.  He doesn't want to depress me with things that are bothering him, quite honorable in my opinion.  However, personality alone is not enough.  Right now, I have no desire to see him naked.  Will I if I get to know him better?  I think it can happen, Felix is proof.

Okay, so I haven't know The Brain that long, so everything can change as I get to know more of him.  I know.

Felix vs The Brain

I think The Brain would make a much better boyfriend/husband than Felix.  I believe The Brain is capable of making me happier than Felix because our personalities work better together.  And, Felix has major demons he needs to banish if I am to continue considering him as a serious candidate. 

I want to see if Felix can outshine The Brain even though he is miles behind.  The Brain is just as busy as Felix, but makes a huge effort.  Felix, what the hell are you doing?????  Way to screw it up man, to go from first choice to last choice (if a choice at all).  And, to be completely oblivious to this...that takes a lot of skill.

It would be great if I could just combine these two.