Friday, July 10, 2015

That New Guy From The Other Night

About that new guy I went out with the other night.  He was smart, good at holding a conversation, and very chivalrous (I attribute this to him not being an engineer).  He asked questions in a way that didn't feel like an interrogation.

Unfortunately, he asked terrible questions, such as, how has a gorgeous girl like you never been married, what happened in your last relationship, tell me about your ex boyfriends, how do you like online dating, do you own your place?  Makes me think he was researching SF dating dynamics, online dating from a woman's perspective, ex boyfriend stories, and why single women are single in San Francisco.

I did not feel a spark, I don't think he did either.  I left it as, thanks for a nice evening.

14 comments:

  1. curious. on the flip side - what were the questions you asked him?

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    1. I went with the flow. He said he liked reading, I asked him what kind of books. He said he liked to stay active, I asked him what kind of sports, et al

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    2. what are good questions?

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    3. Light questions are nice. If you were stuck in a desert island, what's your favorite movie, if you could go anywhere tomorrow, where would you go, et al

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  2. Those are pretty normal questions, I'd say. A lot of my girlfriends actually ask men about their past relationships, (why the ended), how they feel about the online dating thing. I've been asked that before and I'm uncomfortable so I steer the conversation away. But I don't think any harm was meant. Some people are ok discussing dating with other dates, and I'm just not.

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    1. When your girlfriends ask men these questions, do they end up seeing each other again or end up dating? LOL, I agree, uncomfortable, and I do it ONLY when I know I never plan on seeing him again (because at that point, I am doing research)

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    2. My one friend who asks, on every first date, about past relationships, online dating, and how many kids he wants, is now in the process of moving in with her boyfriend. They met on Tinder and have been dating over a year. It just depends on two people and their rapport. She has no fear asking those questions, and her now-boyfriend clearly didn't mind answering them :)

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    3. Thanks for sharing!! Would love to know how they are doing in the future and if/when then get engaged

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  3. Aw, man. I'm disappointed that there was no spark! Would you go out again if he asked? Just to see if something develops? He seemed decent otherwise, and sometimes it takes more than one date to figure things out. As for the questions - I would also be curious about that stuff (wondering why an attractive person is single), but I'd probably bite my tongue until a few dates in. If a guy were to ask me those questions, I'd probably answer. Some people just want to know right off the bat some of their deal breakers so they don't waste their time. Though asking someone if they own their own place is weird. Unless he was trying to determine if you live alone. Because whether someone lives alone or with roommates can make a difference, too.

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    1. Hi TJ, thanks for the positive thoughts! I would go out with him again, but I don't see him as being anything more than a friend. If a guy were to ask you those questions, would you be uncomfortable? Real estate ownership felt like he was trying to assess my net worth, LOL

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    2. Eh, I'd find it slightly odd but not wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Sometimes people just want to try and gauge how someone else is with dating/relationships. I've dated guys and wondered those things about them. Not the owning your own place question. How many people own around here? Only a couple of my friends own property; everyone else is still renting and most have roommates.

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    3. This guy owns and me owning or not shouldn't make a difference

      How's it going with your new guy?

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    4. Guys don't really care about a woman's net worth. As long as they establish you're not out for their money (which is pretty easy to determine), they're not concerned about your bank account. My guess is he was just making conversation or maybe he has an interest in real estate and wanted to talk about it. Real estate is a really popular topic discussion in my friend group right now.

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    5. I agree, most guys don't really care about a woman's net worth, but most people wouldn't ask someone they just met if they own, right?

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