Smart Guy won't quit. He emailed me again on OkC. As you know, I don't ever plan on responding; you'd think he would have figured this out by now. Although he is not a software engineer, he does have that arrogant geek thing going on. It wouldn't surprise me if he's thinking something along the lines of, "This girl is a b*tch. I don't understand why she won't talk to me. I went to a top school, make over 150K/year, and am so awesome." Awesomely delusional.
I've really been thinking a lot about the SF dating scene, guy/girl dynamics here, etc. It seems like people think they are "special" here more than anywhere else. For example, you have the guys that say, "I went to Stanford" and think they are so so special because of this. These guys need to remember that going to Stanford doesn't make them unique and so so special. Although Stanford is a good school, hundreds of thousands of people can say, "I went to Stanford."
I was also recently contacted by an ex, out of nowhere, and I can't figure out why because he is currently attached. I found some interesting articles written from a man's point of view as to why they come back.
ReplyDeletehttp://digitalromanceinc.com/dating/understanding-men-3-reasons-why-a-guy-will-call-a-woman-out-of-the-blue/
http://life2pointoh.com/2012/08/contacting-an-ex/
I'd be interested to see what J has to say about these articles and how true they may or may not be for him. In my current situtation, this guy has come back many times and it seems like he is trying to get in my head.
None of those reasons are really very surprising. It has usually been one of them, in my experience. Not so sure about the ego one though.
DeleteIsn't it obvious? AG was just that good in bed that he can't quit that thang. :D
ReplyDeleteIsn't it obvious? AG was just that good in bed that he can't quit that thang. :D
Ahem, so those articles? They state some obvious reasons all of which can and mostly are true. But I think every situation is unique. How did he contact you? What did he say? Do you want him to leave you alone? Sometimes it's best to tell someone to their face that it's over. I always feel that when someone accuses another person of messing with their heads that it's a bit ov
Haha, he wishes he got me in the sack
DeleteJ, he just called out of nowhere as he was driving home one afternoon, basically started the conversation off by catching up and then ended it with a mountain of sexual innuendos. I told him he was being silly and tried to sidestep his comments and rush him off the phone. He's been texting me here and there since then, sending pictures and such. I've asked him to leave me alone before. And he will for awhile. But he always comes back.
ReplyDeleteI agree about having the conversation face to face. Unfortunately it's always come to a head when he calls me incessantly in the middle of the night that I blow up and tell him he has to stop. I haven't asked him to leave me alone because I would prefer to handle it in person this time.
Sounds like he wants sex....if that wasn't already obvious. Why he wants sex when he has another gf is beyond me. Maybe you just were too good. ;)
DeleteMy advice, if it's worth anything. If you want to keep a connection there for whatever reason then boundaries need to be established. If he doesn't respect those boundaries then be prepared to cut him off entirely. Block him, defriend him....whatever it takes. But be sure to let him know exactly what you want, what you will do and why.
If you just want him gone, tell him it's over and that you are cutting him off and then follow through with it.
Either way take control of the situation. A lot of people both man and woman, feel that once a relationship is over that it's done and they don't have to deal with it any longer. But that is ever rarely true. It takes time to wind down a relationship after the initial breakup and if you don't give it that time it can linger and fester.
Hope that helps!
Thanks, J! It does.
DeleteAG, didn't you block him on OkC so he can't message you?
ReplyDeleteRe: Stanford, it's so douche-y. It's like guys in the East saying the went to Yale. I went to an equivalent school but I rarely mention it unless someone asks where I went to school. When you're 28+, where you spent your late teens/early twenties hardly matters. As long as you went to college somewhere!
Nope didn't even bother to take time to block Smart Guy, lol.
DeleteTotally agree with you on the whole school thing! I went to a couple of great schools too and try not to bring it up