Perfection And Dating Don't Work

This is an interesting read on what you should/shouldn't look for in a significant other.  Bottom line, find someone nice.  Keep looks off the table; it's a bit difficult because I think people need to be attracted to their significant others.  However, what you think is hot might be totally different from what I think is hot.

As we already know, dating in the Bay Area is extremely difficult.  We know most SF men and women have extremely high expectations.  Have we really looked into why expectations are off the chart? 


Theory:
One possible reason, it's likely that the Bay Area has a very large concentration of perfectionists (think I read somewhere that SF is one of the most educated cities).  If you went to a top tier school and work at one of the most prestigious companies in the world, you might be a perfectionist (or at least closer to being a perfectionist than someone without these attributes).  You've probably also been told you are "special" throughout life and haven't experience any real hardships.  When someone is that "special" and used to being pampered, of course he/she is going to believe he/she can have "the best" and anyone his/her heart desires.  My really close girlfriends and I have always agreed, "perfection doesn't exist and everyone settles."  Dating in SF would be much better if everyone realized this.

We also have a very high concentration of engineers; aren't they trained to be perfect?  Perfection is more valuable than social skills amongst the engineers.  Hey, this is what keeps my building sound in an earthquake and my Gmail working, so I should remember this when I meet someone very awkward...

Also came across this on perfectionism.  

Oh, Technology

I really do think dating would be much better without facebook, texting, online dating, etc.  I've always believed this (well at least in my adult life).  Check out this story.

Ugh

I try to avoid bars and clubs, especially on a weekend.  They are usually crowded and filled with very drunk patrons.  I met up with a friend at  bar over the weekend.  A random guy grabbed my *ss on the dance floor.  It was a full on five finger (with palm) grab, not a back of the hand graze.  What an *sshole and I hate bars.

Funny

Funny article on online dating.  I'm at the point where I just don't understand how I know real life couples who have met online.  My experience summed up in two words - sh*t show.  Most of my girfriends in the Bay Area agree.  Come to think of it, I only know four SF couples who met online (two met on Craigslist which is fascinating in itself).  All my other friends who met their spouses online live everywhere, but here.

"Negs" Gone Bad

I wish guys would stop listening to pickup artists.  As you know, pickup artists tell guys to "neg" a girl to make her feel insecure and more receptive.  This doesn't work with me, I just get angry and walk away.  I've been getting a lot of neg emails.  Sure, they get my attention, but definitely not in a good way.  For example, "Your profile doesn't say much.  Is this because you don't have much to say?"  Yeah, he could have been trying to be cheeky or whatever; I don't care, epic fail because I am left thinking, f*ck you and delete.

And Some More Reading

Some more reading.  I haven't this yet either.  So many articles this time of year.

Even More On That FB Study

And some more, I just skimmed it...

More On That FB Study

More on that FB study.  Kinda funny.  Well, not that funny if you live in SF (like myself).  Even less funny if you are a guy living in SF.

WSJ Ranks SF #1 (Not In A Good Way)

As a follow up to yesterday's WSJ comment from Anon (thank you), here's the full article on the best/worst cities for love.  Drumroll, or not, the winner of the worst relationship city goes to San Francisco!!

I wonder if having too many perceived options ("perceived" being the key word) creates Peter Pans.  Maybe because they think they can get anyone whenever they are ready with their endless options of supermodels?

Also, another guy I've never met before has asked me out to dinner tonight.  No

No Coincidence

I don't think it is a coincidence that THIS many guys are trying to take me on a last minute date this weekend.  Are guys more bothered by this Valentine's Day thing?  I have at least two out of towners that want to meet.  I also have a guy who has been emailing for months and is suddenly very interested in seeing me tomorrow night.  Whatever, NO.

Ohhhh, I got it!  Guys think it's easier to get laid this weekend (because most girls are easier this weekend)!

Valentine's?

I've never really cared much for Valentine's Day.  I find it really awkward and kinda cheesy.  Ever been to a restaurant on Valentines?  It's all couples, yeah, I was part of a couple, but still, cheesy.

For those of you who celebrate, Happy Valentine's Eve!

The Cycle Continues

I talked about the dating cycle in 2013, but I do believe it still holds true.  I noticed a lot of online dating activity starting around Thanksgiving and going into early/mid January.  Late January/mid February things slow down a little.

I really don't want this to come off as arrogant, but I must reiterate, guys, if you are interested in a lady a "wink" "favorite," etc. is not enough.  I've gotten more than 100 "likes," "winks," "favorite," "ratings," etc in the past 24 hours.  I feel overwhelmed and it gives me anxiety, so I am unsubscribing from these emails.  If a guy is waiting for me to wink back, oh well.

LMAO and Thank You!

No really, LMAO and thank you!  I had to see The Brain at a party over the weekend.  I've successfully avoided him for six months.  Of course, The Brain knew I wouldn't miss it and turned up.  Let's just fast forward to:

• He was hitting on me throughout the beginning of the evening.  However, every time he came near me, I found a reason to get up and walk away (bathroom, another drink, coat check, phone call, bathroom again, long lost stranger I had to greet, etc)
• After he realized he really had no shot, he started hitting on another girl that he dated years ago (SF is too small and/or he dates too many girls)
• This girl has not spoken to or seen him in five years, yet, he tried to take her home that night anyway!  LMAO, that indicates ignorance, denial, and/or sheer stupidity?
• The girl and I had a good laugh about it the next day when we were texting each other

The Brain is pathetic, so pathetic that I might start to feel bad for him.  Surely, he must realize by now that his personality is so bad that: 1) girls he dates never want to speak to him again and 2) even his money can't make up for his really sh*tty personality.

An Online Stalker

I have what I would like to call an online stalker.  He's managed to find me on OkC, match, and eHarmony.  He's managed to find me on OkC a few times, I keep blocking him on OkC and I think he keeps opening new accounts with different usernames.  I don't know what says "not interested" more than blocking a guy on every single site he messages me.

Meh, No

That really old guy I went out with months ago texted me to grab a drink tomorrow night.  I'm not going to even bother responding because: 1) he's not a realistic boyfriend candidate and 2) tomorrow night?  Hah!

When He Likes You, He Likes You

I believe when he likes you, he likes you, and you'll know.  There have been several guys who have sent me multiple emails even though I never responded to their first emails.  And, if he has your number and you don't respond to a text, he'll call, send more texts, or send some emails.  If he doesn't try again after one attempt he simply isn't interested enough and that's fine, I'd rather know at the start.

I can hear some of the guys groaning, but think of it from a girl's perspective.  We'll use me as an example.  I have at least three guys who won't stop contacting me (these are guys I've met years ago).  Then, there are also the guys I haven't met who are asking me out.  So, who is going to pop up in my radar?  The guy that sends me one text or the guy who sends me four?  And, I hardly remember any details about the guys I haven't met yet or went out with once because they have not earned any space in my brain.  Ladies, just think back to all the guys you weren't interested in that wouldn't leave you alone.