Thursday, November 7, 2013

Computer Engineers

Goodfella introduced me to a guy not too long ago (very sweet of him, I really appreciate it).  I went on a date with this guy.  Really nice, smart, and tried to be interesting.  He was boring.  He talked about work and marathons, two of my least favorite topics.  I even told him I am anti marathons!  At least, now I can say I've given computer engineers a shot (over the last 10 years, I've met several computer engineers, even dated one, and was not wowed).  I'm still not wowed.

One of my good friends is a computer engineer.  Not to typecast people, but I think a lot of computer engineers share the same traits (he actually pointed it out), they:
  • Are arrogant (lots of the ones I've met went to great schools and work at the top tech companies)
  • Enjoy talking about work because they don't multi task well, if work is on their mind, that's all they can handle (maybe spend 90% of their free time talking about work)
  • Are not very chivalrous or maybe it's just a lack of manners/social education (do not say "thank you" to waitstaff, do not hold open doors, etc)
No, not all of these applied to the guy I went out with.

11 comments:

  1. Then definitely don't go for CEOs, either :P

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  2. I haven't experienced that, although when they get with their co-workers or other buddies who are computer savvy, it's all they talk about. But it's just like anyone- work is a big part of your life and hopefully it's something you enjoy and are good at, so it's natural to make it a main point in conversation in the beginning of dating a new person. It's part of getting to know them. I dated a computer software engineer and he did have one super arrogant friend who thought he knew everything about everything, but the rest were relatively pleasant.

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    1. It feels like work being a big part of life applies to almost all computer engineers and no other occupations (well, maybe doctors, but I know doctors that rarely talk about work, so...). Investment bankers and lawyers also rarely talk about work, I'm sure I could come up with more professions.

      I attribute the computer engineer work thing with social awkwardness, lack of a well rounded personality, and sometimes inconsideration (that's like me dominating a conversation with manicures, assuming it is a big part of my life and something I am really interested in)

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    2. Different types of people become investment bankers and lawyers as opposed to engineers and other computer related professions. Although I wouldn't consider bankers and lawyers the gold standard of great personalities either. But I think the passion and/or lack of passion for their respective professions is rooted in why they do what they do.

      Bankers and Lawyers are generally in those professions either for status or money or both. Engineers and Developers are in those professions because they love working with computers. I know a bunch of lawyers who decided to become a lawyer because they didn't know what else they wanted to do and knew they could make money doing it....although I've heard that the money isn't there like it used to be. They aren't generally passionate about their work and some of them really hate it.

      But people don't just decide to become software engineers. It's just such a harder skill to learn and to master that only those who really love it and understand it make the grade. So you tend to get guys who REALLY love what they do, thus thats what they want to talk about.

      Try dating a musician or an artists and you'll most likely find the same behavior.

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    3. Hey J, you are right, bankers and lawyers don't always have great personalities, lol. They do appear stronger and more direct than the computer engineers and musicians/artist (btw, you've just reminded me that I am never going to date a musician/artist).

      Different people are good at different things. I disagree that software engineering is such a harder skill to learn. If that is a widespread sentiment, the overwhelming amount of arrogant software engineers makes sense

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    4. Well, we have differing opinions there. I've got a computer science degree but I'm not a software engineer. I've also got a art degree and I straddle both worlds at my job. But I've worked with and studied with engineers a lot. You're right, most of then are arrogant bastards even though they've got no right to be given that they're awkward, sweaty weirdos.

      But my point was, I guess, wasn't to say computer science is harder than law or finance. It just takes different skills that most people don't bother to develop. Kind of the way that not everyone is good at math. Law, and maybe finance seem to use skills that most people use every day.

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    5. Curious AG, if you're not a software engineer or a lawyer or a banker and I presume not a musician, what do you do professionally? Have you dated men in the same profession as you? Would you?

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    6. Never say never! I used to say I would never date an Asian guy because I just wasn't attracted to them. How wrong I was, lol.

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    7. J, awkward and sweaty, lol. Yes, software engineers do have different skills than lawyers and bankers, less focused on communicating with other people, which would explain the lack in social skills (at times). It would be virtually impossible for a lawyer to keep his job if he wasn't aware of social norms.

      Anon, I work in the financial world and would absolutely date a banker or others in the financial world. Unfortunately, my floor is mainly women and gay guys...there isn't much interaction with other floors.

      Asha, lol, I swore off Asian guys at one point too! Back to swearing them off again though, lol

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  3. I've dated 2 engineers and both were really socially awkward and very arrogant about their skills. They were also very beta. One called my job "cute" in comparison.

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    1. Sabrina, I am with you on all accounts! I don't think I even disclosed my job, lol

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