What?

What?  I agreed to meet New Leaf Guy for a quick drink tonight.  He was going to pick me up at 6:30 pm.  He never picked me up (even though he confirmed last night).  He texts when he's running late and calls if he has to stay at work longer than he had intended.  He's never flaked on a date before.  This is strange.  I surprised myself because I wasn't even angry.  He's let me down so many times that my expectations are nonexistent, it's like I've become immune to his bull sh*t, wonderful!

I'm a little concerned (not concerned enough to call him).  I don't know if something happened, but I do know that I equate flakiness with treating me like sh*t.  No one needs that in their lives.

That New Guy From The Other Night

About that new guy I went out with the other night.  He was smart, good at holding a conversation, and very chivalrous (I attribute this to him not being an engineer).  He asked questions in a way that didn't feel like an interrogation.

Unfortunately, he asked terrible questions, such as, how has a gorgeous girl like you never been married, what happened in your last relationship, tell me about your ex boyfriends, how do you like online dating, do you own your place?  Makes me think he was researching SF dating dynamics, online dating from a woman's perspective, ex boyfriend stories, and why single women are single in San Francisco.

I did not feel a spark, I don't think he did either.  I left it as, thanks for a nice evening.

7 Drawbacks To Online Dating?

This Huffington Post article talks about the 7 Drawbacks to Online Dating, which include the feeling of endless options, non committal parties, trolls, shaky compatibility algorithms, et al.  They missed the most obvious online dating problem, meeting in real life and having no spark (chemistry, real attraction, connection, et al).

Not Mad Anymore

I am not mad at New Leaf Guy anymore.  I gave myself 24 hours to be stark raving mad, but that's it.  He doesn't get to hold that power over me.  Being mad is a waste of time and energy.  For those 24 hours, I yelled, I screamed, I ranted, I raved.

Why was I so mad when he had just asked me to be in an exclusive relationship with him?  Because I didn't think he had good intentions.  I started to think of all the things he had not followed through on (my biggest grievance with him).

Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps I'm not, doesn't matter.  I think he was on his absolute best behavior in the beginning because he knew that's what he had to do, not because he wanted to be (this casts doubt on his interest level as a whole).  He had been slacking recently (too comfortable and/or getting complacent and/or letting his true self show).  All this added together with his flakiness thoroughly enraged me.

I should have known better.  I need to listen to my own advice and look at actions.  The whole reason why he's named New Leaf Guy is because he messed up a lot in the beginning (though I can't recall what he did).

I did finally answer one of his calls.  He was still making promises. LOL.  I'll believe it when I see it, and no, I'm not holding my breath.  I agreed to see him for a quick drink next week because I've invested months of my life already (I should place into practice the whole sunk cost thing).  Well, it'll likely make for a good story...

First Date With A New Guy

I was on a dating hiatus.  Dipping a toe back in, online dating, here we go...again.  First date with a new guy this week, we'll see if he gets a name.  He asked me out over a week ago, 40s, lives in San Francisco (fewer than 15 minutes away by foot), works in finance, and that's all I remember.

Perhaps this one will be different.  I have zero expectations (good or bad).  I'm just going to go, eat a nice dinner, and have a nice conversation (please please please no job interview type of questions or interrogation).

Independence Day

It's Independence Day tomorrow.  My married lady friends are always telling me to enjoy being single because the other side is overrated.  That's interesting coming from the married ladies.

I do like being on my own, perhaps too much...

Genuinely Interested

Some reminders for myself and others who may need it.  If a guy is genuinely interested, it will show in his actions, don't listen to his words.  He'll plan ahead and pick a restaurant (because he agreed to do it or because he wants to impress you).  He'll happily pick you up and not b*tch and whine about the traffic he's endured.  He'll want to go away with you for the weekend, not just talk about it.  He'll want to help if it seems like you need help (this could be as simple as helping you put on your coat, assembling an Ikea shelf, mock interviewing for your graduate school admissions interview, et al).

I think every woman out there deserves a guy who is genuinely interested in her...