I am not mad at New Leaf Guy anymore. I gave myself 24 hours to be stark raving mad, but that's it. He doesn't get to hold that power over me. Being mad is a waste of time and energy. For those 24 hours, I yelled, I screamed, I ranted, I raved.
Why was I so mad when he had just asked me to be in an exclusive relationship with him? Because I didn't think he had good intentions. I started to think of all the things he had not followed through on (my biggest grievance with him).
Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps I'm not, doesn't matter. I think he was on his absolute best behavior in the beginning because he knew that's what he had to do, not because he wanted to be (this casts doubt on his interest level as a whole). He had been slacking recently (too comfortable and/or getting complacent and/or letting his true self show). All this added together with his flakiness thoroughly enraged me.
I should have known better. I need to listen to my own advice and look at actions. The whole reason why he's named New Leaf Guy is because he messed up a lot in the beginning (though I can't recall what he did).
I did finally answer one of his calls. He was still making promises. LOL. I'll believe it when I see it, and no, I'm not holding my breath. I agreed to see him for a quick drink next week because I've invested months of my life already (I should place into practice the whole sunk cost thing). Well, it'll likely make for a good story...
I don't see an issue with going out with him again at this point (since you're uncommitted), though if he made you so angry and you think he's not going to change, is it worth spending more time investing in it? You'll have to approach this with the expectation that he won't follow through on anything; otherwise you'll just continue to get upset.
ReplyDeleteHi TJ! You are right, zero expectations, think that is a new thing I'm trying to do with everyone. He's not worth investing more time and I don't think he's going to change. A part of me is curious to see if he is able to change, I really laid into him the last time we saw each other, from the look on his face, no one has ever done this before?
DeleteIt takes guts to call someone out on their shit. I'm starting to believe honesty is the best policy. Ask for what you want, or else you'll never get it!
DeleteThanks, TJ! I agree, honesty is best. Even if he doesn't take care of the grievances, I feel better getting it all out LOL
DeleteI'm so confused, were you even dating? I see such a disconnect from how much you've blogged about him to what you describe as "stark raving mad", probably because your posts contain very little emotion. Can you clarify the length and depth of this "relationship"? I'd like to sympathize with you but it really doesn't feel like you guys broke up in any way.
ReplyDeleteHi Anon, you are correct, I didn't talk about him much because it was dating a lot (several times a week) or not dating at all due to travel (weeks or months) and I thought he had potential. This has been going on for eight months. I don't know the exact number, we've probably gone out 25+ times?
DeleteI think it is worth hearing him out one more time - at least you will have no regrets, knowing that you gave him one more chance to prove himself.
ReplyDeleteIf he is still talking the talk without any follow through this time, then he has no reason to be confused if you never talk to him again after this. I am curious to hear how it goes!
You are a kind person. I keep thinking, why should he get so many chances when other guys don't even get one? LOL
DeleteMy expectations are very low
I like your blog because you seem like a no-nonsense gal who doesn't put up with BS (and I hope you don't start now). Don't go to see him because it makes for a good story for your blog-- he's thinking you don't have any self-esteem and will put up with his bad behavior. He's testing you to see how much you want him and how much crap he can get away with...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Anonymous! I agree, he was testing me or acting out because of something I did (ie not agree to be his girlfriend)
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