Lunch Date

I went on a lunch date with a new guy yesterday.  He was nice, but very clingy.  He called, texted, and emailed me four different times to confirm our lunch.  And, he's texted me four times since we had lunch.  During the date, I felt bored...the entire time.

And, How Do I Feel?

I was talking to a girlfriend and she reminded me to stop thinking about how good he is on paper, how cute he is, et al, and concentrate on "how do I feel when I'm around him?"  Sometimes he is very cute, amazing on paper, and great days are great, but I'm very annoyed and/or enraged the rest of the time.

I already concentrate on feelings with new and old friends.  I have one friend who is always anxious and worried.  Every time I see her, I feel anxious and worried.  We aren't friends anymore.  I know how to do this with friends.  I need to start doing it more with potential guys in the dating/relationship area.  If you have the same problem (liking the idea of someone more than the reality), incorporating feelings would snap you out of it too.

Jobs To Meet Men

A girlfriend and I have talked about jobs to meet men in the past.  Well, the head of my department was let go and heads are going to roll.  Rather than getting another job where I am essentially held hostage in an office for 60+ hours a week, it's time for something different.  The money is good in my current line of work, but I abhor it (the structure, managing the same people every day, trying to stay awake in meetings where people point fingers at one another, et al).  I want something very different and might as well meet men/people while I am at it.

Jobs to meet men/new people:

• Anything in tech
• Biz Dev/Sales
• Relationship Manager 
• Fundraising
• Human Resources
• Journalist
• Real Estate Agent
• Receptionist (major corporation, medical office, small business, et al)
• Hostess/Waitress
• Barista
• Car Dealership
• Flight Attendant 
• Bank Teller
• Apple Store Associate
• Cashier (Trader Joe, Safeway, Whole Foods, Banana Republic, et al)
• Dog Walker 

My salary is something I'd gladly trade to get out of corporate America...at least for a while.

Men Everywhere

I've been meeting many men in supermarkets, on trains, on the street, et al.  It goes with my "guys don't want to be single when it's cold out" theory.  And, they also appear when they are the furthest thing from my mind.

You'll Find It When You Aren't Looking

Single and married people have always said something like, "You'll find it when you aren't looking."  Is there any truth to it?  I go from looking to not looking, back to looking many many times over the course of a year.

I don't think I've been truly looking for years.  I gave up because I didn't find what I wanted to find and/or I really like being single.  Even though I gave up, I continued going on dates because I wanted to make sure I didn't miss out on the possibility that he could be the right guy.  There are so many other things I'd rather be doing than going on lukewarm dates.

Preoccupied

I've been very preoccupied with thoughts of a new job.  As much as this is causing stress, it's nice because I spend way less time thinking about the recent dates I've gone on.

Start Over

Crisp fall weather (more so on the mornings and evenings) makes me want to start over.  Start a new job, find a new hobby, move to a new city, get a new set of friends, et al.

I am currently:

1. Getting a new wardrobe
2. Further distancing myself from friendships that I haven't evolved with
3. Traveling more
4. Actively looking into a big job/career change
5. Disqualifying men at a much faster rate (imagine how much faster it can be)

Struck A Nerve

While I was taking a walk during lunch, I had a thought (this is not a new thought).  When I get hater comments, I know I struck a nerve.  If you want to dish it, know that you'll be taking it too.  That's not the point of this post though.  I've talked about this before.  If there is something I say which enrages you, ask yourself why.  Be more self aware.

I'll use that Anonymous comment from earlier this week as an example.  I think it bothers her that she doesn't get or isn't able to keep attention from men.  Maybe she's the girl who goes out with a guy two or three times and she never hears from him again.  Maybe she's the girl who goes out with all her friends and isn't approached while the rest of her friends are.  Maybe she's the girl who is still pining over an ex boyfriend from years ago.

No Asperger's

No more dating guys with Asperger's.  I wasn't even aware of Asperger's until I moved to the San Francisco Bay Area.  To the best of my knowledge, I had never met anyone with it.  In SF, I think it's 70/30 (70% or more have Asperger's).

Smart Guy had Asperger's and used to say the most condescending things.  New Leaf Guy had Asperger's and would just blurt out whatever was on his mind (which probably ties in with the no follow through thing).  I'm not saying all guys with Asperger's are undesirable, I am simply saying, they are undesirable to me.

From what I've heard from psychologists, Asperger's is measured on a spectrum.  So, if he's high enough on the spectrum where I'd notice it, no.

Monday Madness

Monday Madness.  Since I last talked about New Leaf Guy, I decided that I don't even want to be friends with him.  I told him this on the phone.  That has caused him to text, call, and come by my apartment several times.  I haven't and don't plan on responding or opening the door.

Smart Guy also contacted me over the last week.  I am really unclear on why he thinks I'd respond.  It's been four or so years since I last spoke to him.

Weekend Trip

On another weekend trip, this time, Tahoe with two girl friends.  We will not talk about guys...at all.

Wrapping Up

I've been working on a new project at work for the last month with a very very cute single guy.  The project is wrapping up in the next couple of weeks.  We've been (and always have been since day one) flirting, but I don't take him seriously because he's younger and is maybe just good eye candy.  Recently, he's been finding ways to stand and sit very close to me and inserting himself in all my meetings.

Too Little, Too Late

New Leaf Guy is now the friend I sometimes (once a month, once every two months...he's not on the top of the people I want to see list and probably never will be again) have dinner with.  He hopes that he'll have another shot.  It's too little, too late.  I'm not doing this out of spite, it's how I feel, and I'm very over it.

Numbers Game

A new book is out and says dating is a number game.  How is this news?  In this ABC News link, San Francisco, Silicon Valley, etc were listed as great places for single women to meet single men.  And as I've always said, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.  Let's say we subtract the "odd" single guys from SV/SF, that leads us with not many single men.  And of those remaining single men, I'd say a high percentage are "Peter Pans."

This Is My Year

This is my year.  It started out a bit shaky and has gotten better with every passing month.  I'm going to make it even better!  I plan to take more weekend trips, ideally to places I haven't visited before.

Although I haven't found someone I'd like to be in a long term relationship with, I feel like I'm getting closer with every guy I meet (and disqualify).  I do like being single and I often wonder if I even want to find someone...