I don't like going on unpleasant dates, not just because I have to
sit through it while it's happening, but also because I think about it
afterwards. I've been thinking about that date last Saturday night with
the irritating comments and questions guy.
I think what bothered me most about him/that evening was he couldn't care less whether or not I was having a good time and talked AT me. I didn't seem like I was having a terrible time, but I also gave no indication that it was a good time and I wanted to see him again. I was simply polite and there.
I finished my dinner much faster than he did because 1) I wanted to leave and 2) I wasn't talking nonstop. We didn't have a conversation, it his soliloquy. He kept going on and on talking about anything he wanted to talk about and didn't seem to care if I was even listening. It was like I was listening to his stream of consciousness. He was already trying to fit himself into my schedule. He just assumed I wanted to fit him in my schedule? Asking me where we'd go on vacation together? Again, I did nothing to indicate we'd have a second date, so vacation together???? I gave him a strange look when he said that. And, he didn't like my job and wanted me to get a new one. So not only was this guy unaware of reality, he's also controlling.
I think what bothered me most about him/that evening was he couldn't care less whether or not I was having a good time and talked AT me. I didn't seem like I was having a terrible time, but I also gave no indication that it was a good time and I wanted to see him again. I was simply polite and there.
I finished my dinner much faster than he did because 1) I wanted to leave and 2) I wasn't talking nonstop. We didn't have a conversation, it his soliloquy. He kept going on and on talking about anything he wanted to talk about and didn't seem to care if I was even listening. It was like I was listening to his stream of consciousness. He was already trying to fit himself into my schedule. He just assumed I wanted to fit him in my schedule? Asking me where we'd go on vacation together? Again, I did nothing to indicate we'd have a second date, so vacation together???? I gave him a strange look when he said that. And, he didn't like my job and wanted me to get a new one. So not only was this guy unaware of reality, he's also controlling.
After the check was dropped off, I looked at my watch about 12 times to subtlety let him it was time to go. The waiter walked by five times and the check must have sat for over ten minutes. So, I had to spell it out. Then, he wanted to go somewhere else to get a drink. So he could talk at me some more. No. I don't know why he thought I'd want to continue the date. Actually, from what I've seen, I don't think he cared if I wanted to, he just wanted to because it would have been fun for him.
Why on earth would you do a dinner date for a first date? Even if a guy insists, I ensure that first date is a drink and it's quick. Buy yourself a nice dinner if you're looking for a meal. I would never set up a date that forces me to sit there if I wasn't enjoying myself.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to turn down a free meal? :)
DeleteI have to eat at some point during the day, but I don't have to have a drink or get a coffee. I was trying to be efficient. I'm usually fine with dinner dates as the first date because even if we aren't a match, we can usually make it an enjoyable time. This was not the case with this guy.
DeleteI hate the free meal stigma. Makeup, hair products, time to apply all these expensive things,shaving out legs, nails, dresses, etc. and the prep work for a date. Its far more expensive than any dinner. Just my vent.
DeleteTrust me I'd rather fit in some gym time and come straight from there. But men have time to fit in that shower before the date and dry their hair etc.
DeleteYes! Prep work for a date takes a lot of money, time, and effort! And getting to/from the date is also money, time, and effort. I don't think people factor these things in when they say "Just go, it's a free meal" thing. It is not free.
DeleteAlthough this date sounds crappy, I do wonder, like the person above, why you do dinner dates. When I was dating, I never did dinner until date 2. For my first date, it was usually drinks and lasting maybe an hour. My fiance still teases me about our first date, how I adamantly turned down a second drink, even though I enjoyed the conversation!
ReplyDeleteFiance? Congrats! Hope it's all going well.
DeleteI was trying to be efficient. I have to eat during the day, but I don't have to have a drink or get a coffee. And it's usually fine even if we aren't a good match. Not this time.
dating is such a waste of time!
ReplyDeleteYes, it can be...
DeleteLol, some people talk when they get nervous. A lot. I'm open to whatever on a first date. Coffee, drinks, dinner - they can all last 5 mins of 5 hours. I ordered, drank and ate a whole dinner in less than an hour once.
ReplyDeleteVery true!! They can last 5 min or 5 hours. I'd rather spend an hour eating than an hour nursing the same drink
DeleteWhen I was single and dating, I would never set up a date that involved being in a position where I could not run away, it may sound silly but I needed to know I could just leave if things weren't going well.
ReplyDeleteSo in order not to find myself in that position the first time I would arrange a walk on the park and later decide whether to go to dinner or have some drinks, when it went bad I used to make an excuse and leave