Thursday, June 5, 2014

Trying Something New

Okay, I am trying something new.  What's that?  Emailing and/or winking at a guy.  As you know, I am very against reaching out to a guy first because I feel like he's just not that interested if he isn't sending me an email after visiting my profile.  However, I know two ladies who have met their guys the SF Bay Area (specifically peninsula) this way.  These guys are no scrubs.  I'm friends with one of the guys (Stanford doctor) and have known him for at least a decade; he is one of the nicest guys I've ever met.  I haven't met the other guy (Google engineer), but have heard wonderful things about him from his fiance (they are now engaged and planning the wedding).

I've contacted five guys on match (these are guys who expressed interest in the Daily Matches).  I was no Shakespeare, I simply wrote, "Hi, I've been told you are interested" to three guys and winked at the other two.  The two guys I winked at wrote me emails.  The three guys I emailed replied.  All five guys took some kind of action within 30 minutes.  Let's see what happens next...


  1. You've gone all these years not writing to guys first on dating sites? That explains a lot. I understand not wanting to ask a guy out first or approach him at a bar, but online, he's looking at hundreds of profiles. He might be on the fence about you, but writing him could make him realize "wow, this girl is great, I'm so glad she wrote me so now I can ask her out." Or he might have meant to write you but couldn't find your profile again. There's a dozen reasons. But no reason NOT to write him once. You have nothing to lose. I can't believe you are just discovering this 'strategy.'

    Come ON.

  2. I'm with Anonymous, I don't think there's anything terribly aggressive about a quick hello. I've gotten plenty of responses back from guys by writing first. I didn't ask them out, but I showed my interest in a non-threatening way and if they didn't respond, no harm done and no real time wasted.