Guy Update

Valley Guy (this jackss) sent me an email wanting to know how I am doing.  Well, I was mighty fine before I received that infuriating email.  How dare that guy contact me????  I shouldn't let him pss me off, but come on!

Sucks To Be Her

I was at a cocktail party.  Knowing me, I was not in cocktail attire since I just had a full day of work.  I didn't even have on proper footwear unless athletic footwear is proper for a cocktail party.  I was standing on the outskirts of the party activity.  A guy approached me and started talking to me.  He was tall, pretty cute, and gay?  Apparently, I was wrong on the gay part (starting to see a trend here).  His girlfriend walked up to us (I didn't know it was his girlfriend until later).

Girlfriend:  Oh how do you two know each other
Me:  Standing around in this very spot.  How did you two meet?
Girlfriend doesn't say anything, ignores the question, gets one of her guy friends to talk to me and pulls the tall not gay guy away.
She starts making out with him (this is the part where I figure out he isn't gay).

Sucks to be her though to know her guy is standing around at parties making conversation with other girls.  I wasn't even trying to steal her man, imagine if I was...great that i can do it regardless of the setting and my attire.

Entitlement

There is too much entitlement out there in the dating world.  I am sure I am one of those people, but I am at least conscious of it and trying to change my way of thinking.  Yeah yeah, I am educated, easy to look at, fun, have a great sense of humor, yadda yadda yadda.  However, I also have some not so positive traits and might not be the warmest person in the world.

I see these guys out there who think they are the sh*t and deserve to get the hottest supermodel in the world because they are rich, smart, handsome, have a nice apartment, went to Harvard, etc.  They need to remember, this is SF, there are tons of rich, smart guys, with nice apartments and Harvard degrees.  Notice how I left handsome out (it's in the eye of the beholder anyway).  I have met some truly unfortunate looking guys who think they are handsome. 

Back to the topic at hand, these entitled guys need to remember, they aren't perfect either, so learn when to stop chasing after perfection.

OkCupid %s

After reading The New Yorker article, I think more highly of OkCupid.  I never had a problem with the site, just the guys that were contacting me off of the site.  There are hundreds of questions that users can answer.  With all that data, I think the % could be quite helpful providing that there are enough answered questions to make the match % statistically significant.  For example, if I answered 400 questions, but some guy answered 14, the match % could be garbage.

Is compatibility in the OkCupid sense really that important.  For example, is how messy a guy is a good indicator of how he would be as a husband and how that would factor in with my messiness/not so messiness? 

Too many things to think about.

What Is Really Important?

There seem to be a couple of different schools of thought on this whole relationship thing. 

1. Compatibility is the most important, for example, waking up around the same time in the morning, thoughts on noise/quiet, etc; I still think this is important
2. Shared interests is important (I tend to think shared interests are an indicator of compatibility); not sure I agree with this at all.  I could be compatible with someone very into video games even though I couldn't play one to save my life.  Guys like to "do things" with their gals like run, sail, bike, etc...I don't see why guys can't have their own "thing."  Yeah, go for that run at 6am, I'll be doing what I like to do...sleep
3. Shared values, such as, family, religion, money management, etc; I am starting to think this is probably the most important

Good Enough

I read this article a while ago and recently read Lori Gottlieb's book called "Marry Him."  I'll let you read the article yourself, though I may have talked about it in an earlier post; I just can't remember.

So, in this book, "Marry Him," she talks about a lot of things, but some points stuck out.

• The less information you have on your online dating profile, the better because people build fantasies and have expectations based on what they read
• Don't find reasons to rule guys out online, find reasons to go out with them because you never know if you don't give them a shot (I have been trying to do this, it hasn't been working)
• Just because a guy is good to date, doesn't mean he is good to marry
• Find the guy that wants to be married and have the "boring life;" I see nothing wrong with a "boring life" (I kinda have one right now and it's great)
• Stop chasing perfection and realize good enough is really quite good (one of my really good friends has said everyone settles and I have always agreed)

This is a lot to think about.