I touched on this in the comments area of another post, and it's worth bringing up.
I tend to think men who speak to me are interested in having sex with me. This isn't something I dreamed up, this is something I learned in my late teens, twenties, and today. I want someone who likes me for me, not because he just wants to "nail it." I'd say men who are MIA within the first few dates 1) weren't interested enough or 2) were just interested in having sex (with me, anyone with breasts, anyone with a beating heart, et al).
I've found that the men who wait, like me (obvious, yes). Sure, some men might continue the dating process because they think date four, five, six, or whatever arbitrary date number will mean sexing it up, but I find that the guys who are only interested in sex will lose their patience quite quickly.
And no, this isn't a game, it's me determining who is genuinely interested because that's important to me. I am also determining who I am actually interested in. I remember a line from Clueless, something about Cher being really choosy about her shoes, and they only go on her feet...
I don't want to sound like someone's grandma, but really, I think many women have sex with men they don't really know. If you are comfortable having sex with men you don't really know, do continue, and no, I'm not judging. I'm saying, please don't be surprised when they turn out to be assh*les, cheaters, drug addicts, car thieves, et al. This is information one might come across if one gives the relationship more time to develop. And wouldn't you like to avoid having sex with the assh*le, cheater, drug addict? I sure would.
Well said AG. The only prob with waiting it out is that suppose you spend all this time getting to know him and he sucks in bed?? Then what's the point?
ReplyDeleteSex isn't THE most important part of a relationship. I think you can tell if he is going to suck in bed by how he kisses; heinous kisser, eject! If he's a good kisser and "sucks in bed," usually means he's horrifyingly selfish in the sack. Really think most guys are willing to do whatever to get the job done
DeleteI have a personal question. What is a definition of "sucks in bed"? My man lacks stamina but is willing to do whatever to get the job done. Very, very unselfish, however, i do not like the alternative ways to "have the job done", i just really like the process, and the process requires stamina... I almost always feel disappointed afterwards because of how quickly the "main event" ends... He always says "you're just way too exciting'", i guess just to say something... I can never decide whether he simply "sucks" in the sex department or i'm too demanding... Do you girls and boys consider that a man "sucks" in bed if he finishes too quickly, but is willing to do whatever it takes to satisfy you in other ways?
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, a guy sucks in bed if I'm grossed out by certain things he says, does, etc. If it's an incompatibility in what we like or timing, I wouldn't think he "sucks in bed." My boyfriend doesn't enjoy dirty talk and I love it.... but I love him more so I let it go (and use my imagination).
Delete"Sucks in bed" is very different depending on who you ask. The guy who thinks all porn is real and couldn't care less if you had a nice experience sucks
DeleteUnfortunately for me, the assh*les, cheaters, and drug dealers are often the best ones in bed...so until by a miracle I happen to fall for a stable dude I'm surrendering to amazing sex with all the wrong men...
ReplyDeletewww.oddjobsurvivalist.blogspot.com
If it floats your boat...
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