New Leaf Guy (aka Last Chance Guy, needed to shorten the name) is still in the picture. We saw each other at a friend's party. We went separately and I knew I was leaving early because I had other plans. He had brought a few women with him, which I knew he would. One of them was someone he was interested in a decade ago and they never dated (this is what he told me before the party). I don't think he wanted me to feel threatened and I wasn't.
I didn't have the "some sh*t is up" vibe, but I did notice a change in his behavior. I'm glad he didn't take the jealousy path because trying to make me
jealous only annoys me, which then causes me to withdraw and move
on very quickly. He's made it farther than other guys I've dated in the past months. He was doing well and now...
Frankly, I know I'm a prize, and if he doesn't see it, you know what will happen.
You're definitely quite a pill and not a prize :) At first, i thought you were being ironic, but no... You don't come across as a "nice" person, so what qualifies you as a "prize", i wonder? You're definitely clever, smart, educated and probably pretty. You might say "but you don't know me, you only know what I CHOOSE to write about my-self", however, i'v been reading you for a few years now and unless you paint your-self much worse than you are, you don't sound like a very "nice" person, but you probably know it and don;t give a s''''t, right? So.... what exactly qualifies you as a prize? I just want to know....
ReplyDeleteYou hit the nail on the head, I am clever, smart, educated, pretty, et al hence prize. I'm nice to a select groups of people, friends and family. You're right I don't give a sh*t.
DeleteAs for any guy, I've written about or will write about in the future, I refrain from listing out all their negative qualities. If you look at us side by side, definitely a prize (think intelligence, personality, demeanor, baggage, et al).
Anonymous 1, you took the words out of my mouth. I've been reading this blog for 3 yrs (and others' blogs who are in similar situations). A.G., you just come off really abrasive and unaccommodating. There are tons of girls in this city that are educated, successful, and attractive. But most men want girls who are are kind and not antagonizing or nitpicky.
ReplyDeleteI don't like to make myself easily available to men, but I also give them a break and try not to write them off so easily. Dating is hard for everyone, not just women.
I do give the potential good ones a break, I just haven't met many of them.
DeleteI'd love if you could come on a date with me to see what I experience first hand. Has anyone ever asked you, "How many dates is it going to take for us to hook up" on the first date? Has anyone ever said to you "You're so hot, I want to f*ck the sh*t out of you" within the first three minutes of meeting? These are actually two different well educated working professionals
Maybe I screen my guys better because I've never had that issue here. I've gotten my share of duds and a few weirdos, but 90% of the time the guys I go out with are perfectly nice, just not a great match.
DeleteThese were both well spoken attorneys (well spoken in email) and just a couple of examples, I have more. I remember another attorney laughed when I was startled by a homeless man who tried to grab my arm
DeleteYou have such horrible experiences because you only go out with rich jerks who think they can say/do anything... but I told you this before. You have to change your "target audience" if you want to change the outcomes of your dates... I know you said in the past you're only attracted to "driven" types, which often turn out to be jerks, and not willing to date a guy who makes less money that you, so there you go.
ReplyDeleteGod, you sound mad. Are you mad? I think we've talked about this before, there are poor jerks and I've met them too. If we look at the SF Bay Area, I think at least 75% of the men here make at least as much as I do. Without even trying, odds are, I'll meet someone who does well
DeleteUm, I'm not mad :) You can respectfully disagree, ya know, without the insults.
DeleteSorry, really difficult to "hear" words/emotions
DeleteWhile it is important to have high self-worth, I think the best approach to relationships is not a "I'm amazing so you better pick me" mentality and making the guy do ALL the work. But rather a recognition that you'd be lucky to have each other. Sure there are ways to signal your worth to a guy, but they can be subtle, especially if you want a nice guy and not a douchebag. A kind relationship-minded guy is not going to chase a girl to the edges of the earth, wining and dining her as she gives off an air of indifference.
ReplyDeleteHey Sabrina, I try to weed out the douchebag disguised as the nice guy; they totally exist and I've met them too. I wouldn't call it indifference, as much as, caution and scrutiny
DeleteArgh, I wrote out this long post and it didn't show up. Damn Internet. Anyway...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sabrina. Nice guys tend to shy away from women who seem disinterested or act like their shit doesn't stink. Even if you don't think you're being cool, I think they can sense it. Based on this blog, it seems you gravitate toward a certain type - you know the guys who work in the FiDi and party in the Marina. These are different than the programmers who just have no social skills. These guys have charisma, which they use to their advantage. I do agree with you that jerks who don't have money exist. I've dated them. They find other ways to reel you in...
But about New Leaf Guy - what's the status? You went to the same party separately, but did he invite you? Did you talk when you were there? How did you leave things?
Hey TJ, argh Internet.
DeleteI like the guys who work in FiDi, but don't party, do they exist? Yes, the loner guy who has a small group of friends and doesn't need to stay out til 5am every Friday and Saturday night. I've had some bad dates with programmers, LOL
We were invited separately. We did talk when we were there, I really couldn't stay long. Our schedules are not lining up with work and travel for a TBD period of time