Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Getting Ready For Vacation

Because I am pretty much unemployed, I will be going to Southern California for about 3 weeks. I came out to SF for a job; that worked out well...

I remember the adventure I had when I was flown out here to interview. I went to dinner with random sales guys from a national insurance company. How did this happen? Guy accosted me while I was waiting for the elevator at my hotel. After begging me for what seemed like an hour, I agreed to dinner and drinks with him and his pals. Free dinner at a 4 or 5 star restaurant, why not? There were 3 guys and 3 girls (including myself); they also picked up the other 2 girls. I learned one guy had a serious Asian fetish (of course) and a wife, but was still throwing game at me.

Analysis/Theory
Sales guys I meet are sketchy. Most of them try to get play while traveling. Keep dreaming buddy...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Technology Holiday Party

Went to a web 2.0 party at Harlot tonight. Wow, there are a lot of tech guys in the SF Bay Area. A lot of them look, act, and talk like they are in technology...not saying all techies = no social skills, but the ones I met proved the stereotype.

Didn't buy one drink tonight. Awesome!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Does Anyone Else Think This Is Weird?

A guy secretly took a picture of me with his cellphone at Starbucks. Too bad he didn't turn the volume off and I heard it. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I don't get it. Anyone else think it's weird? I shouldn't even ask, but what is he doing with this candid photo? 

2 Options:
  1. Eww, gross...figure it out!
  2. He is a stalker type guy with a billion pictures of random girls on a wall in his basement room in parents house...yes I watch too many movies.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Now I Am Insulted

I went to happy hour in the Financial District (Americano) with some coworkers. Over the past 3 weeks, my coworker Sue gushed on and on about a friend for me that was fabulous; went to Oxford, works at the Exchange, cute, nice, smart, etc. Sounds too good to be true right? Yeah, I was highly insulted when I met this guy. Description:
  • Balding white guy with a fro...yes this is possible
  • Completely hideous (about a 2 out of 10)
  • At least 45 years old
I asked Sue (in front of the other coworkers), "Are you f*cking kidding me. This is who you think would be a great match for me?"

Analysis/Theory
When someone tries to set you up, you learn what this person really thinks of you. How the f*ck were we a good match in her mind? Even her boyfriend didn't get it. So, as a better explanation, I think she:
  1. Has terrible taste
  2. Is blind
  3. Is stupid
I couldn't stop laughing and neither could my coworkers. All they could say was, "Really? Are you sure she is a friend? That guy? Wow."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Cheapskate

Went to a dinner date tonight.
  • This guy was a lot shorter than I remember (he was shorter than me which puts him around 5'2")
  • What a cheapskate. He wanted to share an appetizer AND an entree
  • After dinner was over and we went our separate ways. He texted me "Sorry I couldn't meet up earlier tonight. I had a work thing I had to finish. Do you want to meet up now?" Clearly, this wasn't meant for me.
  • 30 minutes later (when he realized his mistake) he texted me to say, "I am going to call you out, I bet you are at a bar right now"
Loser. Did this guy really think he was going to see me again? LOL. It's really quite funny and makes for a good story.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Best Forward Ever

This might be the best forward ever!! Courtesy of my dear friend GoodFella.


THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST, make sure to read the response.
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly
beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out?
Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way.
Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it.
I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!
Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By
35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that.
So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Good Friends

I have a really good group of friends. I have known most of them for at least 5 years. You guys are probably all reading this blog right now ;)

My point is, it's not the quantity that counts, it's the quality. Not everyone understands this. I would hate to have a lot of friends...after all, I am antisocial.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Hello My Beloved Peanut Gallery

I am starting a blog to make our lives easier. We all know I go on adventures and get myself into situations (ranging from mildly entertaining to completely ridiculous). Instead of getting my 15+ page emails and replying with your witty comments, why not make everything public for everyone to enjoy?

By the way, I just took a walk down memory lane via gmail dating back to 2004. I am absolutely mortified by how stupid I was back in the day; yeah yeah, I still have my moments. PS, you guys are hilarious!

So, feel free to write comments, pose questions, and share with your friends. However, please keep my identity a secret. I might want a job one day...