New Leaf Guy is in Asia or Europe or somewhere. As Victor Hugo said, "When a man is out of sight, it is not too long before he is out of mind." We talked before he left and he's sent a couple of emails, but largely out of sight and out of mind.
I practice what I preach, I'm not "sorta with" him. I don't get hung up on one guy unless there's some kind of DTR (define the relationship) talk, which would involve labels. He's told me he is not dating anyone else, but that could
always change, so I don't take it very seriously. And, he hasn't asked me to stop dating other guys...
I've met a lot of guys organically, but not guys I'd like to date. They are all spoken for and weren't shy about their relationship statuses.
I haven't been on any dates worth writing about. Lots of the same. No
spark or guys who give me their resumes and ask me job interview
questions. On a positive note, fewer perverts!
Yeah girl. Don't get hung up on no fools. :)
ReplyDeleteCheers!
www.oddjobsurvivalist.blogspot.com
Thanks
DeleteNot all guys will specifically ask you to STOP dating other men, because that could be construed as being controlling. When my friend's now husband asked her to date only him, she told him that it was HER decision and not his.
ReplyDeleteIf he's told you he's not seeing anyone else, he's either a) assuming you're not either or b) waiting for you to say "me neither" and until then isn't going to take you seriously.
Sometimes you have to put yourself out there if you like someone. Then again, if you really care about a person, they will not be "out of sight, out of mind."
If a guy doesn't ask me or tell me to stop dating other men, it seems like he doesn't care enough whether I do or don't.
DeleteWell, there is a little more to this story. While he is on his travels, he'll be crashing on an ex girlfriend's couch for a few days or a week. Because he's given me a look into his past, I know something could happen.
I think this is another case of people needing to be better at communication. Make your intentions/desires clear. Because right there you say "If a guy doesn't ask me or tell me to stop dating other men, it seems like he doesn't care enough whether I do or don't." He's not necessarily thinking that at all. Like Anonymous said, he could be waiting for you to tell him you're also not dating anyone else.
ReplyDeleteHi TJ, yes, I'm sure we both need to be better at communicating. I'll see what transpires the next time we go out
DeleteI agree with TJ & Anonymous. Sometimes these conversations come up organically, when you both realize you have feelings for each other and neither wants to date anyone else.
ReplyDeleteSaying "I'm not dating anyone else because I like you and want to see where this goes" is genuine and vulnerable. It doesn't make a guy any less masculine or the girl any less feminine to say it, nor does it matter who says it first if real feelings are involved.
I think liking someone changes. One day he could really like me and one day he could really not, and vice versa. One day he could think I'm to die for and one day could not, and vice versa
Delete