I believe a reader left this article on sugar daddies a few months ago.
I find myself playing the "Is that his daughter or sugar baby" game when I walk around San Francisco. Now that I've been made aware of this world, I think "sugar baby" is much more common than "daughter."
Getting paid to go on first dates (or any dates) would be spectacular! I would go on more dates and want to kill myself less when I have a terrible date because at least he made up for it by compensating me for the time I wasted with him.
Aren't you being hypocritical since you prefer to date much older men?
ReplyDeleteBeing paid to go on dates is like being paid to make wine, work in a candy store, or travel blog. The novelty wears off when you're being paid for it. A little compensation for a bad date might sound nice, but you'll hate yourself if you develop feelings for the guy. Besides, sugar daddies aren't generally looking for marriage.
I do like much older men because they are very chivalrous and am totally good with people assuming they are my sugar daddies. I'd like to have a sugar daddy!
DeleteYes, the novelty might wear off, could be better than working 60-80 hour weeks LOL
This is just a form of prostitution...
ReplyDeleteDating could be seen that way too. Guy buys girls meals and takes her on dates in the hopes of having sex with her. It's just a bit more subtle
DeleteI'm the Anon from April 28th and I absolutely disagree with your statement. If a girl goes on a date to get a free meal out of it, and "puts out" not because it feels right but because it is what is "expected" so she could keep getting free meals/gifts, then yeah, you can link this with the form of a prostitution, because there are no genuine feelings involved. However, if we're talking about "normal" dating, when people meet, and keep meeting because they LIKE each other, and sex happens as a natural progression, then your comment is nonsense. I know there are a lot of guys out there who are not looking for a connection/relationship but rather for "dates" that would lead to sex, but I never dated these types.
DeleteI've dated a lot of those types, some guy even asked me, "How many dates is it going take for us to hook up?"
DeleteI have many girlfriends who have sex with a guy on the fourth date because "that's what's expected" and they feel like they "owe" the guy for the dates/meals/whatever
I would call it "low self-esteem", but still, it's not a form of prostitution.
DeleteIt's definitely prostitution that's just candy coated, no pun intended. the fact that you say you'd like to have a sugar daddy completely just destroyed any credibility I thought you had. it's disgusting and you should get some self respect.
ReplyDeleteYou need to get off your high horse. Dating could also be seen as a form of prostitution, see above. Not sure what Anon you are, but if you put out after three dates as a rule, you are most certainly more of a prostitute than I.
DeleteAlthough I didn't fully read the article, from my understanding, not all sugar daddys are looking for sex. Similarly, not all "Johns" are looking for sex. A friend of a friend of a friend who is an escort said most of her clients just want to talk about their problems and don't even try to have sex with her. They are paying for her attention.
Before you start judging others, get your facts straight.
I didn't have sex with my now husband until we'd dated 5 months, I'm hardly a prostitute. But by your definition, accepting an engagement ring for a lifetime of commitment (and sex) makes me a prostitute.
ReplyDeleteWhy would someone who just wants to talk hire an escort and not see a therapist? Therapy is cheaper and far more legitimate for working out your issues.
So maybe it doesn't apply to you, but the women who have sex after a set number of dates or after he's taken her out to dinner however many times could fit into the description. Meals for sex or dates for sex. Some may say marriage would fit the description if one is a stay at home wife (no kids, no job outside of the home, et al) because there is the sex for housing, food, whatever aspect.
DeleteFrom what I've heard, it's the attention of a very attractive woman who is listening and looks good doing it
I'm a different anon but you're talking nonsense, honestly. It's a well explored sentiment that marriage without love is a form of prostitution. Like being a kept woman. But we're not talking about extremes here, are we? Two people in a marriage are in a genuine relationship and genuine feelings are involved - good or bad :) Prostitution is a business transaction. I think your real problem is that you are extremely disillusioned in the relationships department due to your negative experiences, so you're not viewing dating as a journey to meeting your love anymore, but rather an exhausting activity that you would like to be paid for. You're deflated, I get it. It's tough being young, pretty, educated and not get what you deserve for having all these fine qualities...
DeleteI know many people who got married and maybe they were in love, maybe they weren't, but there was always a bigger reason; they include: I wanted to move away from my parents, it was time because we had dated for six years, she was pressuring me, my parents were pressuring me, I was almost 30, et al.
DeleteYou're right, not seeing dating as a whiskers on kittens and raindrops on roses. However, I've found dating to be much better when I moved far far away from my age range of 30s-early 40s
There's a difference between going out on dates with a guy who pays for your meal/drinks and getting paid to go out on dates. The first is legit dating according to society's standards and the second can be likened to a form of prostitution. In the first situation, there's likely mutual interest, at least if it lasts, and in the second, the interest is probably one-sided. People using each other. I read some of that article and don't understand how women can feel good about doing that unless they see it as a form of employment. And I also don't really get how a man can feel good about it knowing the interest is feigned. I guess if all parties understand it for what it is, then they can do their thing. It's definitely not my speed.
ReplyDeleteHey TJ, skimmed the article, but I guess the question I pose, is why can't they have mutual interest/genuine feelings for each other? I think it's possible. It's like a girl agreeing to go on a date with a guy because he drives a Lamborghini and has an black Amex who then ends up falling for him; sure the window dressing is what reeled her in, but the end result is the same
DeleteMaybe they end up with genuine feelings, but it doesn't start that way. Whereas with standard dating, it's typically based on mutual interest.
DeleteMutual interest in "standard dating," but we don't always know what that is... Let's think about dresses short enough to be shirts and why some men spend $250K on a car
DeleteI"m with TJ. Dating is not a transaction, it's about an emotional connection and all of the bad dates you go on and even the heartbreak will be worth it (I like to think) when you meet the right person. If you want to be in a relationship, it takes real work and one shouldn't expect to be paid. Of course, if all you want is to be taken out and pampered in exchange for sex, then it becomes prostitution. That is NOT dating.
ReplyDeleteHey Sabrina, I feel like people "date" for different reasons. Like the guy who "dates" because he's just trying to find someone to have sex with, not necessarily because he's looking for an emotional connection
DeleteWell people like that are what give dating a bad name. Don't go screwing people under the pretense that you're dating them. Unless it's understood by both parties and they're okay with being sex buddies.
DeleteI've met a lot of those. It's a waste of time and very depressing
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