Follow up to the cheap ring post, let's look at this. I said $500K is too much. What do I think is a good ring? 1.5-2 carats and whatever that translates to...wild guess, $40-80K. I can feel more outrage coming my way. Yes, I have read a statistic saying something like 80% of all engagement rings fall into the less than 1 carat range. Yes, I know $80K might be someone's yearly salary in other parts of the country and world. SF is very expensive, most people are well paid, and some tech summer interns make more than what other people in the US make in a year.
Most of the people in SF (just read those hate on tech articles) are used to be in the top deciles in all aspects of their life; for example, high school class rank, college rank out of the country (those Top 25 lists), college GPA, LSAT/GMAT/GRE/MCAT scores, top ranked graduate schools, top companies, top income bracket, etc.
For all the haters out there, if you think I am crazy because I throw these figures around and they are numbers you'd like, make a change in your life and work to earn more. I worked my *ss off to get to where I am today, so if you want it, I encourage you to go get it, instead of talking about how crazy I am.
SF has a higher than normal proportion of ridiculously wealthy people, but most people aren't multimillionaires. Also, $200k isn't that high a salary when the average home costs over $1 million. My points: (1) there aren't as many people who have an extra $40-80k sitting around and (2) those who have high salaries and that kind of money are probably intelligent and have likely made very sound investments, and they know an engagement ring is not a sound investment of their $80k.
ReplyDeleteFair, I do feel an $80K engagement ring would hold much better value than an $80K car
Delete80k put into an index fund is better than both... by far.
DeleteWow. $80K for an engagement ring? Are you trying to knock people over with it? People outside Hollywood even expect something like that? I just had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I thought $500K was even a typo. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't about money to me, it's about priorities. Who the hell wants/needs that kind of bling? I can't even wrap my brain around this...
Of the married ladies I know, think there is only one lady with a ring that's less than 1 carat, all the rest, 2, 3, 5, and even an 8! One lady's husband is a big financial number cruncher guy; he did the math and figured out the engagement ring he was looking at would be a better investment than other things (stocks, bonds, cars, etc.) because it would hold its value, instead of depreciating due to use or time value of money
DeleteNot true for him if they divorce!
DeleteI have dated lots of rich men and they have been so cheap. Men these days don't spend that much on women...
ReplyDeleteThat does not sound good at all. Sorry to hear that. Where are you based, Anon?
DeleteI've often thought the cheaper a man is with me, the less interested he is in me (example, Smart Guy, I really should have gotten out of that earlier). I've also found the most generous guys are the ones who are at least 10 years older than me...
San Francisco
DeleteAre you open to dating an older man? I really do think they are more generous :)
DeleteThat's why I only date young college chicks.. a $30 restaurant meal seems generous when they normally eat dorm food and don't know any better..
DeleteLol
DeleteWell unless you are looking for a diamond that looks good under a microscope, a 1.5 to 2 carat shouldn't cost 80K. You can buy a 1.5 carat diamond that "white enough" and "clean enough" for about 20k. As far as not losing money on diamonds, retail has a huge mark-up so you lose about 40% of the value once it leaves the store (to sell to second hand market). If you keep it long term, you may not lose money as it appreciates over time but considering opportunity costs (ie investment fund or real estate), you are losing money big-time because it does not appreciate as quickly.
ReplyDeleteAll that said, we're a couple in our late 20's/early 30's living in SF and both make six figures, but we did not spend 40-80k on my ring. We pay about 50% of our salary in taxes/Social Security and what-have-yous so that kind of money is no spare change. I know other couples in our income bracket that spent less than 5k on a ring because they don't care about it. I like fashion as much as the next girl but I do not desire a 2k handbag or shoes. However, I also know plenty of people with designer things and I don't think they are wasting their money. It''s worth it to them, just not to me. I only see it as a problem when people buy things they cannot afford and rack up credit card debt. I do see some people spending beyond their means for a diamond which may be a sign that they are not good at handling their finances and money is the #1 cause of divorce or something like that.
Sorry for the long post, I do not think it's unreasonable for you to want a 80K ring but don't think everyone has the same priorities.
Thank you for the note, Anon! I totally agree, different people want different things...I feel like a lot of my haters don't see this yet, lol.
DeleteI had no idea a 1.5 carat diamond could be $20K, that's great! Hmm, diamonds do appreciate overtime...I just thought they were more protected from inflation.
If you don't mind me asking, how did you and your guy meet?
We met in college-- we dated 8 years before we got married. He moved 3,000 miles across the country for me (twice!) and he was willing to quit this job and find a new one when we moved. He's a nice guy, comes from good family, loves me, and that's all I really need.
DeleteThat's great! He sounds smitten, glad you found a good one
DeleteActually, diamonds (and engagement rings specifically) hold their value very poorly. The diamond market is a cartel largely run by DeBeers who controls the supply and price of diamonds.
ReplyDeleteIf you try to sell a diamond engagement ring back, the standard price you'll receive is 75% of the *wholesale* price of the diamond - this amounts to about 50% of the purchase price, minus the cost of the setting (so about 40-45%). So a ring that your fiance paid $80,000 for is worth roughly $35,000.
Wow, we should get into the diamond business!
DeleteJust because a guy is rich doesn't mean he's generous. Rich ppl get rich by saving and watching what they spend. I am dating a wealthy guy, but when we go out we split the tab or we trade off paying for dinner.
ReplyDeleteThat's true, rich does not equal generous. I only date rich and generous guys; at least I try to only date them because with my past experience, any guy who cared about splitting checks and "being even" weren't very into me.
DeleteI disagree, people do not only get rich by saving and watching what they spend. Rich people usually get rich by their job/business, passive income, investments, company stock options, etc. Also, if you make $500K a year, $50 for dinner isn't going to break the bank, even if you do it 2x a week, every week, that only comes out to $5200. If a guy is worth $10 million from facebook going public, paying for dinner is not going to kill him. I know, these numbers are just an illustration to demonstrate a point
Also, splitting feels like business and isn't very romantic
DeleteLet me know when u find that guy bc I have dated a lot if wealthy men in SF and they haven't been too generous...
ReplyDeleteThe generous guys I've met were doctors or at least 50 years old
DeleteMen show generosity in many ways, not just how much they spend on rings. When a guy proposes, he's thinking long term. Not how much he drops today on a ring. If I received an engagement ring, I probably wouldn't even wear it....I don't like the feel of them and lose them. I'd rather he propose with a simple ring and dump the rest into our retirement fund.
ReplyDeleteThat's true. Thought you used to want a big ring?
DeleteI'd love one but wouldn't fault a guy or consider him not generous if he didn't. Some men just don't understand the importance of gifts/symbols. Even one as major as an engagement ring. I'm dating a guy who is definitely not a gifter, and prob never will be (if things progress) but he is generous.
DeleteGlad things are going well, Sabrina!
DeleteAt first I thought you seemed like a fun cool girl, ie the name Adventursaurus. But you really are an entitled snob that does not deserve happiness. No man will ever meet your ridiculous standards so it's a good thing you're ok with being single because you'll never find anyone.
ReplyDeleteWow... lost your cool? ;) I guess something struck a cord...
DeleteOr, maybe it's the quantity of these comments
DeleteWould you prefer:
Delete1. No comments
2. Only positive comments
3. Mixture of positive and negative
4. Don't care
4. Don't care, but I would like readers to know that if they leave an obnoxious negative comments, 9 out of 10 times, I will reply with something just as obnoxious
DeleteIt's fun riling you up because you seem so unlikeable.
DeleteI don't need or want your support. I'm simply saying 1) why should I care about what haters think and 2) don't dish it if you can't take it
Delete