When I was in high school, no boys expected sex for months. From an especially friendly girlfriend of mine, 2-3 dates is what she does. Sure, that could work for her, but that doesn't work for me. I won't even tell someone my last name at the second date.
What is the sexpectation today in the 35-55 age bracket?
I made my boyfriend wait 9 months, haha :) But that's anomaly. We're married now, btw.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! Was that because you were friends first or dating for 9 months? I have made some guys wait a long time, we were friends first
DeleteAnd, congrats!!
No...The truth is he hadn't made a move because he thought I was old-fashioned and didn't want to scare me away... I had to seduce him in the end :) he was a 27 y/o virgin and pretty shy. So you could say that he made me wait, not vise versa :) Married almost 12 years, two kids.
ReplyDeleteIt has to vary by age and person. I've had guys push for it on date 2, and guys who respectfully let me say if/when I was ready. And believe it or not, there are still guys out there (even in SF) who prefer to have sex once monogamous, I've encountered them.
ReplyDeleteOther things to consider: how long it's been since he last had sex, if he's taking meds that kill his libido (dated a guy in that situation)
Date 2? Come to think of it, I think that's happened to me too. I cut off all contact with him...
DeleteSpeaking of sex and relationships, have you ever ended up in a friends with benefits situation, when at first you were dating and it kind of headed that way. It's that way with me right now and I feel kind of...disrespected
ReplyDeleteSorry this is happening. I think it has happened before and is quite common. When I sense that's what's happening I pull back and won't see him unless he asks me on a date, none of this "hang out at his place" kind of thing. Has it been established that you are "friends with benefits" or is he being a lazy boyfriend?
DeleteWe haven't established anything actually. After 3 months of dating I asked him where this was going and he didn't want to commit. I haven't met any of his friends, he doesn't include me on events he goes to...Yet he comes over to hook up and we go out to dinner here and there.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear! I would start being very very unavailable and busy. If he thinks you are dating other guys, good. If you really are dating other guys, even better! Basically, he'd figure it out fast; if he wants to continue with you, he needs to commit before you are scooped up by someone else. If he doesn't want to continue with you, you don't waste time on a guy who never will. Either way, I think you deserve someone who is dying to get you to be his girlfriend!
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