Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Friends With Benefits

Had this exchange with an Anonymous reader from the Sexpecation post.  Think it's important enough for it's own post.

Question:  Speaking of sex and relationships, have you ever ended up in a friends with benefits situation, when at first you were dating and it kind of headed that way. It's that way with me right now and I feel kind of...disrespected

Answer:  Sorry this is happening. I think it has happened before and is quite common. When I sense that's what's happening I pull back and won't see him unless he asks me on a date, none of this "hang out at his place" kind of thing. Has it been established that you are "friends with benefits" or is he being a lazy boyfriend?

Question:  We haven't established anything actually. After 3 months of dating I asked him where this was going and he didn't want to commit. I haven't met any of his friends, he doesn't include me on events he goes to...Yet he comes over to hook up and we go out to dinner here and there. 

Answer:  Sorry to hear! I would start being very very unavailable and busy. If he thinks you are dating other guys, good. If you really are dating other guys, even better! Basically, he'd figure it out fast; if he wants to continue with you, he needs to commit before you are scooped up by someone else. If he doesn't want to continue with you, you don't waste time on a guy who never will. Either way, I think you deserve someone who is dying to get you to be his girlfriend! 

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