Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tinder Killed Dating?

Saw this article about Tinder, hooking up, online dating apps, non relationships, end of dating, et al floating around on facebook and it is disturbing.  I don't think tinder killed dating, it was already dying before tinder appeared on the scene.  Perhaps online dating as a whole started the demise of dating because people turned into commodities and meeting someone took on an online shopping feel.  The sense of scarcity disappeared because you could simply login and see hundreds of others hoping to meet someone (intention unclear).

Although the article talks about young people in their 20s, I am sure some of it applies to many of us who are out of our 20s.  The main point I got?  Men are trying to have sex with as many women as possible.  They will either flat out say they are not interested in a relationship or lead women to believe they are interested in a relationship in order to have sex with them; #2 is quite despicable.  And, women talking about how dating is dead.

I'd like to say:
  • Men if you are just looking for sex, tell her that.  Do not appear to be interested in more in order to persuade her to sleep with you.  That's obnoxious
  • Women, if you are just looking for sex, do not expect the men to want more.  If you are looking for a relationship, do not have sex with him until you are in a relationship

7 comments:

  1. What a depressing read. I'm hoping our culture gets over this trend, and fast. Though I can understand people in college and their 20s enjoying it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That article is definitely depressing! I can believe that more people, especially in NYC and the younger 20s crowd, may be this way these days. Most of the time this hasn't been my experience though - even with Tinder, I don't receive vulgar or sex-requesting messages.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi M, it's like what happened to NY?!?! Great point, don't think I've gotten vulgar messages either. I don't login often though...

      Delete
    2. I know, right?! Those fresh-out-of-college boys seem to think they are hot stuff for making it to NYC... Maybe it's something in the air up there, but their egos are out of control!

      Delete
  3. We live in an on-demand world with instant gratification. At the push of a button you can watch your favorite TV shows, get food delivered, have your laundry picked up and washed, get a taxi. Tinder and other apps make dating no different. But that doesn't mean we have to fall victim to the charms of "the next best thing." We can make a conscious choice to get to know someone, to look beyond profile pictures, to not date with one finger on the right-swipe arrow.

    Dating apps aren't going away, it's a matter of realizing that the type of dating they sometimes encourage (fleeting, casual) is exhausting if all you want is a relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, we should focus on who is in front of us, not "the next best thing." I was hoping people would get irritated by the sheer number of dating apps and throw them all out

      Delete