A single girl in San Francisco (SF) + meeting guys + dating + relationships + poor decisions + having fun = Blog with Adventures + (commentary + random thoughts + advice).
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
This Happens To Girls?
Saw this blog/article, this happens to girls too? Basically, a lady wrote to 67 OkC guys and 60 of them did NOT respond! I knew guys had low response rates, but girls too???
I see nothing wrong with me not writing guys and being "proactive."
That's usually what happens when someone thinks you aren't attractive, not their type, or there is something in your profile that doesn't fit with their lifestyle.
I'm a girl and I have a horrible response rate. I write short but thoughtful and grammatically correct messages personalized to their profile. My response rate is probably 30-50%. Adventuresaurus Girl can vouch that I am not a fugly troll. What gives?
Sabrina is definitely not a troll. I don't get it either! I blame it on the guys of SF, think if you were in any other city, your response rate would go up. The guys I know out here overestimate how great they are...by a lot!
Sorry Anonymous!! Accidentally deleted your comment it said:
I don't think it's overestimating "how great we are". I think the problem is that online profiles show maybe 10% of who a person really is. I'm sure that if we were all forced into a room and made to interact with each other the rates of connections would be much much higher.
I don't think it's guys or girls in SF. I think it's online dating in general. Maybe we all need to be more open to initiating conversations out in the real world rather than relying on the safety of online dating.
I agree, if we all got in a room, chances of connections would increase. I don't think they would increase all that much though... I've gone to some events and they weren't great. I remember OkC had an event which I went to. Guys were on one side of the room, girls were on the other. The guys that did approach me were really rude/arrogant/condescending. Just the way they said, "I went to Stanford" was enough for me to walk away. I went to some pretty great schools, I don't talk down to people like that, it's not nice.
Ugh, that sounds horrible. Yeah, maybe the room idea wasn't so great. But I think if people felt more comfortable talking to each other out in the real world things might be better. I see a ton a cute girls on the bus all the time. But how do you start a conversation when everyone had headphones on or has their nose buried in their phone?
Hmm, I think it might be an SF thing to be uncomfortable talking to others. Was in NYC not too long ago and New Yorkers will stop anyone to have a conversation if the mood strikes.
Question for you, if the cute bus girls weren't reading or listening to music, would you try to start a conversations with them?
Yes, the East coast is a bit different. Not sure why. We're much more direct over there maybe.
If I see a girl out that I'm attracted to and isn't distracted by something I'll try to make eye contact and see if I can elicit a smile out of her. If I can then I'll try to find something to talk about. That's the plan usually. But it kind of depends on how confidant I'm feeling at the time.
But now a days, even if I just want to say hi and learn a bit about her, it always seems like a big invasion of her privacy. That's just my personal feelings though. Not sure if other guys experience this as well.
That's usually what happens when someone thinks you aren't attractive, not their type, or there is something in your profile that doesn't fit with their lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteWas totally surprised because my guy friends are always saying girls never initiate.
DeleteI'm a girl and I have a horrible response rate. I write short but thoughtful and grammatically correct messages personalized to their profile. My response rate is probably 30-50%. Adventuresaurus Girl can vouch that I am not a fugly troll. What gives?
ReplyDeleteSabrina is definitely not a troll. I don't get it either! I blame it on the guys of SF, think if you were in any other city, your response rate would go up. The guys I know out here overestimate how great they are...by a lot!
DeleteI tend to meet guys that are 5'5", but claim to be 5'8" and weigh 120 pounds. Oh, you're right, also balding and wrinkled!
ReplyDeleteSo many guys who do message me are 5'7" or shorter (I'm 5'9") or they live 150 miles away. What the heck?!
ReplyDeleteWe need to move
ReplyDeleteSorry Anonymous!! Accidentally deleted your comment it said:
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's overestimating "how great we are". I think the problem is that online profiles show maybe 10% of who a person really is. I'm sure that if we were all forced into a room and made to interact with each other the rates of connections would be much much higher.
I don't think it's guys or girls in SF. I think it's online dating in general. Maybe we all need to be more open to initiating conversations out in the real world rather than relying on the safety of online dating.
I agree, if we all got in a room, chances of connections would increase. I don't think they would increase all that much though... I've gone to some events and they weren't great. I remember OkC had an event which I went to. Guys were on one side of the room, girls were on the other. The guys that did approach me were really rude/arrogant/condescending. Just the way they said, "I went to Stanford" was enough for me to walk away. I went to some pretty great schools, I don't talk down to people like that, it's not nice.
DeleteUgh, that sounds horrible. Yeah, maybe the room idea wasn't so great. But I think if people felt more comfortable talking to each other out in the real world things might be better. I see a ton a cute girls on the bus all the time. But how do you start a conversation when everyone had headphones on or has their nose buried in their phone?
DeleteHmm, I think it might be an SF thing to be uncomfortable talking to others. Was in NYC not too long ago and New Yorkers will stop anyone to have a conversation if the mood strikes.
DeleteQuestion for you, if the cute bus girls weren't reading or listening to music, would you try to start a conversations with them?
Yes, the East coast is a bit different. Not sure why. We're much more direct over there maybe.
ReplyDeleteIf I see a girl out that I'm attracted to and isn't distracted by something I'll try to make eye contact and see if I can elicit a smile out of her. If I can then I'll try to find something to talk about. That's the plan usually. But it kind of depends on how confidant I'm feeling at the time.
But now a days, even if I just want to say hi and learn a bit about her, it always seems like a big invasion of her privacy. That's just my personal feelings though. Not sure if other guys experience this as well.