This is for women because I think women do this much more than men.
Stick to your schedule. I know it's hard to say no when you really like him and he texts you to see if you want to go to dinner tomorrow night because his basketball game got cancelled, the night of your favorite spin class. Go to your spin class. If he surprised you with tickets for your favorite band, that's different.
You
have friends, family, work, school, et al. Why should
put him first and accommodate his schedule? Why should you
stay out too late and feel like a corpse the entire next day because
you agreed to meet him at 10pm for drinks after his basketball game ended?
I've been too flexible with my schedule before and it was a big mistake. The guy got complacent and stopped planning ahead because he assumed I'd be available. He'd start sentences with "I'll let you know." No. I reset that by being very unavailable, which caused him to mind his Ps and Qs again. Your time if valuable. Even if you have nothing to do, it is still valuable.
Agreed, though you also have to be careful about going too far with that. If you're interested in someone, you don't want to give him the impression that he's not worth your time. With every guy I've dated, I let him know up-front that if he wants to hang out with me, I'd appreciate if he'd plan ahead. Because otherwise it's not going to happen, because I have a busy schedule. (That's not to say I never initiate plans myself.) The last guy I dated never planned ahead so always ended up tagging along with me and my friends. And then he got mad that we never had alone time. Hello, all you need to do is ask me to hang out A FEW DAYS BEFOREHAND.
ReplyDeleteI agree, making plans is very important. Those "what are you doing tonight" guys irritate me
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