Thursday, February 27, 2014

Perfection And Dating Don't Work

This is an interesting read on what you should/shouldn't look for in a significant other.  Bottom line, find someone nice.  Keep looks off the table; it's a bit difficult because I think people need to be attracted to their significant others.  However, what you think is hot might be totally different from what I think is hot.

As we already know, dating in the Bay Area is extremely difficult.  We know most SF men and women have extremely high expectations.  Have we really looked into why expectations are off the chart? 


Theory:
One possible reason, it's likely that the Bay Area has a very large concentration of perfectionists (think I read somewhere that SF is one of the most educated cities).  If you went to a top tier school and work at one of the most prestigious companies in the world, you might be a perfectionist (or at least closer to being a perfectionist than someone without these attributes).  You've probably also been told you are "special" throughout life and haven't experience any real hardships.  When someone is that "special" and used to being pampered, of course he/she is going to believe he/she can have "the best" and anyone his/her heart desires.  My really close girlfriends and I have always agreed, "perfection doesn't exist and everyone settles."  Dating in SF would be much better if everyone realized this.

We also have a very high concentration of engineers; aren't they trained to be perfect?  Perfection is more valuable than social skills amongst the engineers.  Hey, this is what keeps my building sound in an earthquake and my Gmail working, so I should remember this when I meet someone very awkward...

Also came across this on perfectionism.  

4 comments:

  1. Nice read apart from the fact they draw some unsupported conclusions like "Plus, agreeable people are often better in bed."

    Still, my experience confirms the idea of perfectionism(meaning looking for some traits in others, or not traits but my evaluations of the behavior) ruining relationships.

    Also some people say(and I agree) that whenever decision involves multiple factors, unconscious decision making is more efficient.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unconscious_thought_theory#The_deliberation-without-attention_effect

    Follow your instincts and enjoy ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's interesting that attractive men are the least satisfied in their marriages.

    This article is a bit of a no-brainer, even if it's hard to hear - money, looks, job can come and go. Character is constant.

    ReplyDelete
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