While waiting in line at Safeway, I flipped through the June issue of Glamour and saw them post results from a poll they took. Findings, 70% of guys are fine with the girl proposing. The line was moving, so I don't know number of guys surveyed, ages of these guys, et al.
I bring this up because I don't think it's wise for women to propose to men. You could do it if you want, but don't be surprised if you don't get your desired outcome. Think about all your girlfriends who pressure their boyfriends to get married. Many
of these boyfriends protest, buy more time, and do not propose. So, all of a sudden,
she proposes and he says, "Yes!!!!" Suuuurrrreee.
This is how it was for me:
ReplyDelete-I have to tell you something
-What?
-I'm pregnant!
-Oh wow. What are we going to do?
-Get married, I guess
-OK!
Haha, very efficient! :) Just kidding, he has properly proposed later, at a big 4th of July family party at his folks, with the ring and everything. But, it's still our private joke that I have proposed first...
LOL, okay, that's one way! A baby makes a difference
DeleteMy friend who just got engaged, they didn't have a proposal. She didn't want one because she didn't think it should just be about the man choosing her.
ReplyDeleteThey've been dating 5 yrs (and she made the first move!) and had a discussion about their future. They decided they wanted to get married this fall, which meant getting engaged in early spring. They bought a ring, decided to have a fancy dinner, and when she got home she put the ring on. They were engaged. That's it.
It's not what I'd want, but it worked out perfectly for them.
That's different, Sabrina! Let us know how it progresses
DeleteI'm going to their wedding in September so I'd say it's progressing well.
DeleteI wish them the best. I'm just saying it's very hard to know what is going on behind the scenes. I have a facebook friend who seems so happy with her husband online, they have been in counseling for years
DeleteMy now mother-in-law made the first move. We were in our mid-twenties and it wasn't on our radar yet but we were together so long and she was getting impatient. But I agree, I would not propose to a man, or ask a guy out, or pursue anyone-- call me archaic but it should be the other way around!
ReplyDeleteLOL, also different!
DeleteI am with you, we can both be called archaic
I also made the first move. It had been 5 years, all of our friends who'd been dating under 2 years were getting engaged, and I wanted to be married by 30. I said either we get married or break up. Haha. You know how that turned out...
ReplyDeleteHi TJ! It is so great that you've put it behind you and can laugh at it now! I really don't think it works when women make the first move and propose or demand a ring (not you, I know women who have done this)
DeleteI agree with you. It should be/feel organic. Ah well, I was motivated for the wrong reasons, and I learned my lesson. Though I don't think the woman proposing is wrong - could be romantic! The whole gender role stuff aggravates me. I also like the idea of it being a mutual decision.
DeleteI agree, it should be a mutual decision. This is difficult though, typically, the woman wants to get married, the man does. I've seen this a lot, guessing you have too. So, one could say, in most cases the woman wants to get married and the man needs convincing, which is why he has to be the one to propose and it has to be his bright idea?
Delete