Tuesday, April 15, 2014

SF Is Taxing

Yes taxes are due today, but when I think of April 15th, I actually think about SF being taxing.  I'm sick of the people, the weather, the hills, et al.  No one interesting has contacted me on match.com, haven't liked many bagels, rarely log into OkCupid, etc.  I know the right guy for me is not in SF.

It's fine, I'm spending 90% of my time looking into new cities.  I've had enough and will leave San Francisco this year (probably over the summer, normal people summer, not SF summer).  My friends in Chicago got married two-three years out of college and are now having their second kids.  New York is supposedly difficult for a single girl, hah, I'd like to see what those girls think of SF.  Actually, I know because I was in New York before I moved to San Francisco and seriously think I made a huge mistake.  Almost all of my girlfriends (outside SF) who have wanted to find husbands, have found their husbands (over the last three-five years).

Just thinking about how much time I've wasted here (over six years) is starting to piss me off.  Okay, not all of it was bad, but I really should have left two-four years ago (when I started not wanting to be here).  It'd be different if I loved the city, I loved my job, or we had year round San Diego weather.  Sometimes you just gotta know when to throw in the towel.  I should have viewed the years past as a sunk cost, not an investment; I get it now.

27 comments:

  1. I'm curious about something. I know you've probably detailed this before in your blog. But could you save me the trouble of digging through your posts and paint me a picture of the guy that you're looking for?

    Spell out the whole package. Looks, personality, career, lifestyle....etc. Maybe tell me which of those are most important to you.

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    1. Looks are negotiable, however, I'd say taller than 5'5" would be nice. Confident; that's the thing that I really haven't seen out here. I meet so many guys who brag about how much money they have and what kind of cars they drive. Someone who isn't defensive and always has to be the smartest guy in the room would also be awesome. Personality is most important to me and I'd tie that in with confidence

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    2. Hmm, well I have to say. Those guys are out here in SF. I'm here so there's at least one. :D

      I think I've mentioned this before, but it could be the places you go and the crowd you hang out with. I honestly don't know what types of guys are on OKC. I've never trolled around checking out the competition. But all it may take is a change of scene.

      That being said, it does sound like you've made your decision. Frankly I don't blame you. I'm not too happy with the state of this city at the moment. But it's my home and I'm here to stay. But it seems like you have roots in other areas so I say go for it. One word of advice though. Try putting yourself in places that you might not normally go. At least every now and then. Chances are that guy you want will be there.

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    3. I rarely have come across guys who talk about cars or money, unless it's to joke about their '94 Camry or how expensive rent is. And these are highly successful, educated guys. Maybe I just filter them better in the beginning.

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    4. J, thanks, yeah, my mind is made up, it's time to go.

      Thanks, Sabrina, it'll be an interesting adventure!

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  2. Good riddance! It sounds like the problem is YOU and your ridiculous standards, not beautiful San Francisco. Every girl should have standards, but yours border on extremely unreasonable.

    If you meet and marry someone in NY, I will consider it a fluke.

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    1. Dear Anon (or should I say either 1) short scrawny guy who can't get a girl to save his life or 2) sloppy insecure girl who is okay with settling and sleeps with every guy she meets),

      Either way, you are obviously someone who would not meet my standards. Blow me.

      AG

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    2. Close! Ivy-league educated woman, ages 33, I used to model in my native Indonesia. I've been single in Boston, NYC, and SF. I just love living life for me. If a man comes along in my life, lucky for him.

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    3. I'm happy for you that you like your life in SF. And yes, that is a good attitude to have. So, being the very happy person that you are, why are you hating on me? Your comment from 2:27 pm seemed defensive and negative. Aren't you too happy with your own life to be sending ill wishes to someone you've never even met? I must have said something that hit a nerve

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    4. Happy people make things happen for themselves. You expect men to make ALL the effort. I do think that men should pursue and chase, but you make it extraordinarily difficult for them. A nice, decent guy would not bother with a girl who plays so hard to get.

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    5. Thanks, yeah yeah, I'm not interested in your stance and you don't need to be interested in my stance either. This still doesn't explain your acrimonious comment from earlier in the week

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    6. I'm with Anon (as you know by now). Though I think as of today you're still in SF, so not sure what happened. Maybe you should move to San Diego? Forget why you may have crossed that off the list.

      Also, it's funny how you jump to conclusions about people (both myself and Anon) based on one post from each of us, yet you try and call us out on judging YOU after reading most of your posts. This blog paints a pretty interesting picture of you. I hope for your sake that it's a work of fiction.

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    7. I don't know much about San Diego.

      I try to figure out what you are about based on your comments. That's different from being judgmental because I don't think you are any better or worse for being different from me. I don't think "Wow, TJ is a blah blah person because of..." I just think, to each his own

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  3. I won't try to defend SF, I love the city despite its dismal dating scene - my friends in NY and other cities have similar complaints about the men. But you've made your decision, and it'll be interesting to see where life takes you next. The world is your oyster.

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    1. Thanks, Sabrina. Lol, I had never heard of the term "Peter Pan" before I moved out here

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    2. NYC is full of them too! I'd heard the term (and experienced it firsthand) in business school.... a lot of these guys haven't changed, 4 yrs later.

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    3. Hey Sabrina, what have you heard about LA? That's on the list

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    4. I wouldn't want to live there, personally. What tech is to SF, is entertainment to LA. Plenty of people NOT involved in "the industry" but enough are that expect a certain level of appearance/youth. Totally based on anecdotes and the Millionaire Matchmaker :)

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    5. Ahh, I see what you are saying, Sabrina. I watch Millionaire Matchmaker too!

      One of my really good friends moved to LA. She went on a few online dates and married a really sweet guy in a little less than a year. That was after spending 12 years here with no real prospects. I think I'm gonna go visit her!

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  4. "I meet so many guys who brag about how much money they have and what kind of cars they drive. Someone who isn't defensive and always has to be the smartest guy in the room would also be awesome. Personality is most important to me and I'd tie that in with confidence."

    You just described 99% of the men in Dallas! I have lived a lot of places and have never met more terrible and vapid men than I have here in the DFW area. And holy Peter Pan syndrome! Thank you for making me feel less alone. Sorry to hear these sort of men have migrated their way to the bay area.
    Good luck and keep us posted!!

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    1. Thanks for the note! I guess Dallas is getting crossed off the list...yup, I had it on the list...

      What cities did you really like with good guys?

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    2. Seattle would be the top city. For sure. Most of the guys that live there are down to earth, VERY respectful, not afraid to make the first move, are more concerned with being outdoors and loving life than they are with what car they drive or what clothes they wear. Not to mention that they tend to be educated and open-minded and care very little about what you are wearing or how much money you make. I really miss that city.

      My second pick would be Austin. Austin men are fun, adventurous, educated, outgoing and (again) open-minded. They definitely know how to treat a lady and they aren’t afraid to do yoga. You can’t beat that.

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    3. Perhaps I should add Seattle and Austin to the list.

      Sorry you don't like Dallas...sounds like you are ready for a move too!

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  5. I really liked living in Chicago- if you can handle the weather.

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    1. Hmm, I don't think I could handle the weather. It's a shame, have heard wonderful things about Chicago

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  6. Also- would you be continuing to blog about your experience?

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