Yuck, such a turnoff when a guy is a clingy! I agreed to go out to lunch with a guy weeks ago. Monday, week of, he emailed me the location and time, I responded with agreement. Then, he emailed me on Tuesday to tell me to come up with topics to talk about on our date. What?! That irritated me to no end. I am busy, I don't have time to sit around and make a list of things to talk about. At this point, I am already thinking, this guy is f*cking annoying, controlling, and a micromanager. And, is he assuming that I would have nothing to say if I didn't plan something ahead of time? Then, he emailed me on Wednesday reminding me of our upcoming date. So, he thinks I am forgetful or just needs some kind of constant reassurance? Then, he emailed me on Thursday asking me for my phone number because he wants me to call him if I get to the restaurant before him. Afraid I am not showing up? Then, he texted me on Friday reminding me that we have a date coming up. Because he thinks I forgot again? Then, day of, he texted me to say he got to the restaurant early. When I saw him outside the restaurant he was pacing and a ball of anxiety/frustration. Great.
I wanted to cancel, but already agreed to go out with him and so I went. He was one of those interrogators, I guess I knew he would be based on his emails. No, I am never going out with him again.
Where did you meet this guy? I've never had anyone ask me for topics to discuss on a date. The guy is definitely insecure. Kudos to you for even going on the date after the barrage of emails and texts.
ReplyDeleteeHarmony. He was really awkward. The emails and texts grated my nerves
DeleteAsking you to come up with topics to discuss should have been a red flag!
ReplyDeleteYeah, sigh. I was trying to keep my word while giving him the benefit of the doubt. It was so bad!
DeleteEeeeeek. I feel for ya. :-\ If it's not one thing, it's another, huh? How did he react when you showed up without your list? He sounds like someone who should probably be on some type of anti-anxiety medication. Has he contacted you since the date?
ReplyDeleteHe seemed surprised that I didn't have the list, lol. I agree, anti anxiety medicine would have done wonders for him. Nope, he has not contacted me, think he knew, never again
DeleteWhy do girls project negative actions onto guys? You automatically go to this position that he thinks negatively about you. Like you actually forgot about the date or that he assumes you are boring. Granted, everything he did was pretty dumb and annoying. But if he thought so poorly of you, then why ask you out? He's obviously a very awkward guy who doesn't know how to act towards women.
ReplyDeleteSorry, this is just a pet peeve of mine. I've had women from online dating totally take some innocuous thing I said and turned it into some sort of misogynistic put down. The most recent girl got super offended when I told her that I'd like to introduce her to some show that I like to watch. She told me that I was arrogant by assuming that she hasn't seen the show. it led to a pretty nasty exchange lol.
Any ways, that guy is obviously not for you. I've heard horror stories about eHarmony.
I was trying to help him out by trying to see it from his point of view...like, "Maybe he wanted to make sure I didn't forget" instead of "He's just plain annoying." I think he asked me out because he is desperate (which his actions might also point to?)
DeleteEmail is tough because you can't hear the other person...guessing that lady you were talking to about the TV show was over email? Or, maybe we (the ladies) are so used to being insulted by really awkward guys that we assume most guys are being insulting? I've unfortunately dated more than my fair share of condescending insulting guys in SF
So far, eHarmony has been pretty bad. I think I'll change it to NY and see what kind of guys appear