One Down

I cancelled a date tonight.  He didn't set plans for tonight.  No time and restaurant.  For a first date, spontaneity doesn't work.  One down, two more to go this week.  I might cancel the others too because I feel like I just want to be...with no obligations to be anywhere with anyone.

Napa

Over the weekend, I went on a day date to Napa with that guy I'm unsure about.  (I think I'll call him Travel Guy because he seems to take a lot of vacations.)  Unfortunately, I still don't think I find him attractive.  From past experience, I know attraction level can grow the more I see his positives.

The date - he picked me up, we had lunch in Napa, and went to a few wineries.  He insisted on buying me several bottles of wine.  Then he drove me home.

He texted the very next morning asking to see me again.  This guy means business.  This is what it looks like when someone is trying to date you.  I've never gotten a "Hey" text from him.  When he texts, it's to make plans, and I like that.

Ultra Fast Breakup Recovery

I think this will work for both men and women.  I highly recommend going on a date with someone new to get the ex out of your head.  Yes, it's hard, you're still sad, angry, et al, but I do believe it speeds up the breakup recovery process.  I don't know about you, but I certainly want an ultra fast breakup recovery.

Ultra Fast Breakup Recovery (1 and 2 are interchangeable steps):

1. Go on a date.  Just go.  You don't have to think s/he's "the one."  Go with an open mind and try to have a nice time.  It's just a date
2. Stop all communication with the ex.  Defriend the ex on facebook.  Unfollow the ex on instagram and twitter.  Ignore or block all of his/her calls/messages.  You get the idea.  Never ever reach out to the ex.  If the ex left a toothbrush at your house, throw it out, s/he can buy a new one.  If the ex left something of value at your house, mail it to him/her.  Do not see the ex.  The ex is a part of your past.  (If you want to get back together with him/her, move on with your life until s/he makes a compelling argument as to why you should give him/her the time of day.  Usually, that means fixing whatever problem that led you to wanting to break up.  You might not even want him/her back after you recover)

Mark As Spam

The Ex Guy just texted me again and it's making me angry.  On several different occasions, I've told him not to email, call, or text.  This hasn't deterred him.  My friends are telling me to block him.  Yes, it's easy to block a phone number.  No, it's not easy to block email (or maybe it is, I've never had to try).

I shouldn't need to block him.  He's a grown man.  We have broken up.  Our relationship is over.  He should know how to act when someone says, "Please don't speak to me."  Continuing to reach out is obnoxious.  What is he hoping to gain by reaching out?  Will I tell him I want to get back together?  "Thanks for being obnoxious and completely disregarding my requests, let's get back together."  No.  I know he wants to be on my mind and hopes that will prevent me from dating other men.  Tough, I am dating other men.

Perhaps his phone will be blocked and his email will receive the "mark as spam" treatment.

Just Not That Into You

Saw this article today and agree.  If someone ghosts, who cares why.  If they aren't making time to actually see you in person, who cares why and they just aren't that into you.  Why waste time and think about someone who isn't that into you?  Move on, meet someone who makes it very clear they are into you.

I Wish There Was A Spark

I told him I can't get out of town this weekend.  He offered alternative weekends.  I wish there was a spark because he seems like a nice guy.  Do I give him a second chance to see if a spark develops?  Or do I tell him I'm only interested in him as a friend?

A Second Date Years Later

This seems to always happen.  I broke up with that guy and a guy I had dinner with years ago reached out to me.  I went out with him again (a second date years later) last night.  I can't see him as anything more than "just a friend."  I have zero attraction towards him.  He really wants to take me on a day trip to Napa or anywhere over the weekend.  I do not want to go.  I can either tell him, I'm not interested or tell him I'm busy (so I can give it some more time before I completely rule him out).  I hear a lot of women say, "I wasn't into him at all when we first met."  I don't think I'm one of those though.