- I find you attractive
- There is at least one clear face picture and if you are balding, you don't cut off part of your head because it will all come out if we meet
- There aren't pictures of other women with you unless they're clearly labeled, sister, mother, aunt, etc.
- The email you send makes it seem like you read my profile (no "Hi," no obvious cut and paste, etc.)
- Your profile is short (no pages and pages and pages, who reads all that? Don't you respect the reader's time? Want to know or say more? Go on a date)
- Your profile does not mention anything about loving to kiss, giving massages, being sensual, and anything else that alludes to having sex or getting naked
- No list of things a girl should do for you (yes, I have seen this)
- It seems like we are in the same socioeconomic classes (like you don't make $24K a year waiting tables)
- You seem independent (none of this, "I've been dreaming of finding the right girl so we can spend all our time together")
- You know how to spell and use real words (no "Hi, how r u 2nite?")
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
10 Things To Do For Me To Reply To Your Email
In response to comments from my last post, 10 things to do for me to reply to your email (when online dating):
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If only 60% of all the men on dating websites could see this list! It seems like they have no idea, and they are very reasonable requirements! I'm glad to see that there are other women out there who are in a 'similar boat'!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Scheherazade! Lol, how do we get it out to them? I suspect we are not the only ones, so they never wanted to try to figure out why they weren't getting responses?
DeleteYour requirements are totally reasonable. You also forgot to add guys who don't use bathroom selfies or pictures without their shirt on. So tacky.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anon! Oh yeah, also standing in front of a car, not even their car, hahaha...standing in front of a car, shirtless, lol
DeleteSo you won't date a guy who makes less money than you? You could miss out on a perfectly cute teacher, non-profit worker, aspiring artist temporarily waiting tables... that phrase rubbed me the wrong way somehow... and no, I'm not a guy in question - I'm a girl who married a guy who's a teacher and who made very little at first... I agree with everything else you said here.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are happy with your guy!
DeleteI've dated a teacher before, many years ago, wasn't my thing. Correct, I will not date anyone who makes less than me. Every lid has a pot and this is one of my deal breakers. Other women have height requirements, hair color requirements, etc.
I feel a bunch of angry comments coming my way, let me elaborate some more. The traits I find really hot are drive, ambition, power, etc...I believe these traits are seen more in the business, law, medical, etc. worlds
DeleteI'm with you on the income thing. No disrespect to people working as teachers or in the non-profit world, but I personally would not feel my most happy feminine self if I made more money. I want the guy to be taller, stronger, and richer. I get to be sweeter, prettier, and smaller.
DeleteThank you, Sabrina! That's an excellent way to put it!
DeleteYes. I like my woman feminine - shorter, weaker, poorer. They should be supporting and nurturing to further my own drive, ambition, and power.
DeleteUm, okay
DeleteI 100% agree with you list, and with the comments above about selfies... Girl selfies are bad enough, but if a guy's dating profile has a selfie (or worse, mirror selfie), nothing else matters - he is not getting a response or a date!
ReplyDelete*your
DeleteThanks, M! Hilarious, "nothing else matters" hahah
DeleteGirl with the teacher husband here... You know the very common definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? You are drown to the same type - powerful, ambitious, driven, etc, whatever you want to call it (guys with money, in short:) but you expect to have a different outcome of your dating experiences... You have to give a nice guy a chance even if he's not a money making machine - but for that, you should probably to try to be a little less superficial... It's good to know what you want and go for it and not settle for anything less, I respect that, but to have a minimum income requirement? It's a bit much. But this is just my opinion, I'm not judging you, I just think you significantly reduce your chances for happiness :(
ReplyDeleteLol, I have heard that definition of insanity. I want the take charge guy, and I've dated the "nice guy" before and he usually turned out very, "Um, I don't know, what do you want to do? Where do you want to eat?" etc.
DeleteAhh, my minimum income requirement is more than what I make, literally, that's it. I do feel a lot of that is tied to the whole Asian thing of men being the providers (I am Asian and grew up in a family like that, as well as, all my relatives, family friends, etc.).
AG, I'm with ya on being a man with drive and ambition. I work in a high powered field and it's hard to date the "nice guy." First of all, by making a high income, I'm used to a certain way of life that the "nice guy" wouldn't understand. I own my own place, drive a fancy car, etc. I kind of expect the man to be on the same level. However, I am getting older and the pickins are getting slimmer. These men on "my level" are going for younger women...Just some things to think about...
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anon! Also excellent points! I totally forgot about the way of life thing. I hear what you are saying, are you open to older men? I definitely am, I think I'd be fine with 50s. I've been treated better by older men
DeleteSeems like a fair list. Ignore the angry comments, you have the right to set your own preferences. You also have to right to choose what you find actractive and what not. There is nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteNever settle for less, because if you do, you'll get even less then you settled for...
Hi Jurgen, thank you for the note! Wow, never thought of it that way (...getting less than...), very true!
DeleteAgree. It's a fair list. For the flip side what I'm looking for.
ReplyDelete1. I find you attractive
2. There is at least one clear face and body picture. If you're not in shape, don't cut off your body or use some angled face shot with sunglasses/hair covering half your face.
3. There aren't pictures of other men with you unless they're clearly labeled, brother, father, uncle, etc.
4. The email you send/respond makes it seem like you read my profile and have something intelligent to say (no "Hi," no obvious cut and paste, etc.) expecting me to do all the conversational lifting for the both of us.
5. Your profile is short (no pages and pages and pages, who reads all that? Don't you respect the reader's time? Want to know or say more? Go on a date)
6. Your profile does not mention anything about just checking this online dating thing out (you're on the site just like everyone else - own it), random generic quotes, or alludes to being racist (whites only) and judgemental.
7. No list of things a guy should do for you (yes, I have seen this a lot)
8. It seems like we are in the same socioeconomic classes (why aren't you making at least over $150k like me yet?)
9. You seem independent (none of this, "I've been dreaming of finding the right guy so we can spend all our time and all your money together" - Don't you have your own life, unique hobbies (#notbasic), and job obligations - especially since you have a job that makes over $150k?)
10. You don't ask me to visit some cam website.
Totally fair. Ah, yes, #6 is really good, it's so annoying when people say, "Oh, my friend gave me a subscription for my birthday" or something like that. Lol, haven't been asked to visit some cam website
Delete#8 is pretty easy to answer: she is not as old as you are. I date girls younger THAN me, so I can't expect them to make as much money as I am. To be honest, how much money she makes was never on my list. Don't think that's on the list of a lot of men. To be honest, the quality (but of course not the quantity of reponses, not including hate mails) improved a lot when I added this line: "Don't reply if you're not in shape. If you don't care about your body, why should I ? "
DeleteHi Jurgen! I've also heard that 90% of men do not care about women and their salaries. I would personally stay away from the other 10%, lol. Wow, putting in that shape comment probably got you a lot of hate mail. It's always been like this for most people, men care about looks, and women care about money. I see nothing wrong with it!
DeleteI got some hate mail. Also from women who had in their profile: "I want men above xxx cm tall". So disliking something what is in your control for 95% of the time is really bad, but disliking somehting that is 100% not in your control is OK. Not saying I disapprove that height is somehting you find attractive, just don't act stupid and hypocritical. But aside from the hate mail, I saw also a result in the quality of women that replied, and that was the goal. I don't care about the rest.There is also this saying: atractive women are born, atractive men are made. As a women, watch your weight and you will see results, but you will not go above a certain level if you are not born with the right things. But as a man, you have almost no excuse. Start lifting, watch your weight, build your career and find good company and you can get every woman you want. You are the average of the 10 people you hang out with. Choose them wisely and your value will go up!
ReplyDelete