While I was taking a walk during lunch, I had a thought (this is not a new thought). When I get hater comments, I know I struck a nerve. If you want to dish it, know that you'll be taking it too. That's not the point of this post though. I've talked about this before. If there is something I say which enrages you, ask yourself why. Be more self aware.
I'll use that Anonymous comment from earlier this week as an example. I think it bothers her that she doesn't get or isn't able to keep attention from men. Maybe she's the girl who goes out with a guy two or three times and she never hears from him again. Maybe she's the girl who goes out with all her friends and isn't approached while the rest of her friends are. Maybe she's the girl who is still pining over an ex boyfriend from years ago.
I read a lot of blogs, and if something resonates with me, I'll occasionally comment. I don't believe in negative comments, because like you said, it's another person's blog and if I don't like it, I should move on. The only thing that I will do, that if I feel someone is being mistreated, then I will say something to the effect.
ReplyDeleteI know you get a lot of hate comments because you sound like a beautiful and successful woman. Which I think is awesome, because success is the best form of revenge :) No need to let haters bother you-- they are not worth it!
On another topic, I learned things over the years, and one thing I try not to do is to criticize people on things they can't control. I've done it in the many times in past without even realizing it and I end up looking so stupid. That said, I wouldn't think less of a girl/guy who pines for their ex or is the one getting dumped. I think the world is full of crap people and it's not necessarily reflection of them. JMHO
Hi Anon, that's very kind of you, thank you. When I first started the blog in 2008 haters bothered me, a lot. Not anymore. I want haters to be more introspective and think about out why they are so mad at me. Instead of spending the time and energy trying to bring me down, they should use that energy to find ways to better their situations. Starting a comment war with me isn't productive and will only enrage them more, LOL.
DeleteI don't think less of the girl/guy who pines for his/her ex. I want him/her to try to move on and find the person who will treat him/her well. I think everyone deserves someone who treats them well. If they are true *ssh*les or b*tches, then I take that statement back. It drives me nuts when girlfriends tell me about what their boyfriends did and how they forgave them
To be honest: it still bothers you. And that's ok. It bothers you less probably than 5 years ago but still. Otherwise you would have stopped after the first paragraph. That one was spot on. The 2nd one is just an attack.
ReplyDeleteSuccess might the best form of revenge, not caring is still the best way to deal with haters. Don't argue (what's to win for you ? Try to convince some person you don't know that you are right. Waste of energy). Simply ignore. I try to ignore everyone who criticizes without some positive advice. I don't always succeed but I try.
Hi Jurgen, it bothered me about a minutes afterwards. I agree arguing is a waste of energy. My point with this post, don't haters have better things to do that would be a productive use of time and energy?
DeleteHey! The "hater" anon here. Only I don't agree that my comment was hateful - mean, may be, but not hateful. It's a public blog, so you shouldn't expect just supportive, sugary comments - look what a lively exchange my comment has produced! I think i did you a favor, actually. Otherwise, you're pretty wrong in your assumptions - I've been off dating market for years, happily married, two kids. I read your blog because, being in my mid-thirties, i'm interested in how it is out there, in the "jungle'" :)
ReplyDeleteHater is a term that's been used by "the kids" for a while. Oh, you're the one who can't stay away even though you said you'd stop reading
DeleteI'm not irked because you're pretty and successful - please :) I'm irked because you lack humility. And so i feel free to provide constructive criticism. When I'm bored at work ;)
ReplyDeleteWeren't you the Anon who was going to stop reading? Can't stay away, I see
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