Ever hear of WIIFM? Aka, "What's in it for me?" I don't like this way of thinking, at all. I dated one guy who used to bring it up when talking about business. Towards the end of our courtship/relationship, he started bringing it up when it came to me. For example, giving me a ride home after dinner. He actually said, "You get a free dinner and a ride home. What do I get?" Me (to myself), "After that, me never seeing you again."
When I have dinner with a friend, I don't think that's even a thought that crosses his/her mind. It certainly doesn't cross my mind. If a friend buys me dinner and drives me home, it's because they like my company and they like me as a person. Perhaps they want to make sure I get home safe, perhaps they know the dinner will be filled with laughter, et al. So, when I find out a suitor is thinking WIIFM, I don't think he's interested in me enough (at least not as a person).
Greetings Adventuresaurus Girl,
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting an acronym to an expression I have been familiar with for some time. It is so common these days that one may consider it to be second nature for some folks. Glad to see that you are aware of it and know how to handle such situations.
Hate to break it to you, but guys always think about what's in it for them. Even the most perfect gentleman who really does want a relationship, is thinking that. When he's taking you out, he's thinking "will she sleep with me tonight? on our next date? on the third date? what can I do to make her sleep with me sooner?"
ReplyDeleteThat doesn't mean that he'll be annoyed if you don't put out. But you have to give a guy the opportunity to get to know you, so that he stops seeing you as a mere sex object and starts to see you as girlfriend material.
Hi Anon, oh man. Have you had a lot of men come out and ask you this? I disqualify them when I hear this. It's like, shouldn't they be keeping that to themselves?
DeleteUm....no one actually says this. But everyone thinks it.
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