A single girl in San Francisco (SF) + meeting guys + dating + relationships + poor decisions + having fun = Blog with Adventures + (commentary + random thoughts + advice).
Friday, November 14, 2014
Hate This?
I remember really hating this about New York. However, if they were all incredible looking guys I'd consider dating, I'd welcome it.
Um, have you ever been harassed on the streets? Cat-called? No matter how attractive a guy is, it's incredibly disrespectful and demeaning. You should think before you write something like that.
Yes, I used to live in New York. I am 99% sure if some great looking guy (who looked like he was gainfully employed) screamed "You're hot!" as I walked by, I'd be flattered
You should think before you write something like that too
I'm with Anonymous on this one. I've been catcalled/harassed plenty in San Francisco - and not just in the Mission or the Tenderloin, but in the Marina, which is technically full of "qualified" men (employed, attractive, educated). No matter how hot the guy, it makes me feel like crap, like I (women in general) exist purely for sexual satisfaction. There is zero justification for harassment. And cat-calling counts as sexual harassment.
I think there's a big difference between, "you're hot" and "i want you to suck my..." My point being, it depends on content and delivery. I've also seen some article or study that says if you catcall a guy, most of them enjoy it, lol
There is a line between giving a compliment, flirting and just being rude. And where that line is depends mostly on the actractiveness of the person doing it. Almost no one can get away with "let's go home and fck", some can get away with, "Hey, you are hot, can I buy you a drink ?" and there are some who can't even get away with a smile without being considered creepy.
Is that fair ? Maybe not, but it's how it is. And I can accept that. And don't think I think less of you when I call you hot. It's the opposite. I find you worthy of my attention :).
And to be brutally honest. Women who find everything that is said to them in the streets demeaning and objectifieing, are usually fat and ugly and just plain jealous. It does not happen to me, so it should not happen to anyone. If I don't want to change myself, let's try changing the world. It's working with the fat acceptance movement, so it can work with anything.
Thank you for the comment, Jurgen! I agree, attractiveness makes a big difference. Let's say, George Clooney was shouting "You're hot" to women as they walked by. I think a lot of women would enjoy this!
Men and women take things too personally and are too sensitive these days. Why let strangers with big mouths ruin an otherwise good day? Do they deserve the power to ruin one's day? "You're hot" is quite pleasant (depending on the attractiveness and delivery of the cat caller) compared to the other things they could be shouting, like "You're ugly" or "You're fat"
When good looking men say "You're hot" as I walk by, I say, "Thank you" and keep going
George Clonney can say "Wanna gome home and fck" to most women. Even the ones that don't go home with him, will tell their friends "Hey, you know what George Clooney said to me ?" with proud. They won't say "Hey, you know what this creep said to me on the streets ? Who do men think they are ? This can't happen anymore".
And in my opnion, almost any girl can say this sentence to any man. 99% of the men will either say yes or brag to their friends (maybe lie about the actractiveness of the girl, but hey :)), but almost no men will take offence.
**And don't think I think less of you when I call you hot. It's the opposite. I find you worthy of my attention :)** And I should be happy "I'm worthy of your attention" why? why should I be happy some guy found me attractive? I'm not here to be appraised and either accepted or rejected by you. We really shouldn't base our self-worth on what some guy you don't know and don't care about thinks of us...
Exactly! Why should or shouldn't you care? So, why get so worked up? I'm not saying you should base your self worth on some random. I'm saying dirt off your shoulder and I'd be okay with hot guys catcalling me (depending on delivery and content) because I don't let them impact my day or night
Ok, let's try a different approach here. Put yourself in a mans shoes. As a man, you are the one that has to make first contact with a girl you like (I know some women will say that's not true and they can do it themselves and bla bla bla. Good for them, but it's not how the majority works). Saying "you're hot" to a girl is an attempt at that. I'm sure that there are better ways, but if women are starting to get offended by a compliment and an attempt at creating contact, there will be a lot of single people in the world. How you react is your choice, but if it was me, I would just smile and walk on. It might not affect your day, but his will be better then if you get offended and bla bla bla. And if something as simple as your smile can make someone's day better, why wouldn't you...
Um, have you ever been harassed on the streets? Cat-called? No matter how attractive a guy is, it's incredibly disrespectful and demeaning. You should think before you write something like that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I used to live in New York. I am 99% sure if some great looking guy (who looked like he was gainfully employed) screamed "You're hot!" as I walked by, I'd be flattered
DeleteYou should think before you write something like that too
Thanks! Don't care!
DeleteI'm with Anonymous on this one. I've been catcalled/harassed plenty in San Francisco - and not just in the Mission or the Tenderloin, but in the Marina, which is technically full of "qualified" men (employed, attractive, educated). No matter how hot the guy, it makes me feel like crap, like I (women in general) exist purely for sexual satisfaction. There is zero justification for harassment. And cat-calling counts as sexual harassment.
ReplyDeleteI think there's a big difference between, "you're hot" and "i want you to suck my..." My point being, it depends on content and delivery. I've also seen some article or study that says if you catcall a guy, most of them enjoy it, lol
DeleteThis could be a Venus versus Mars thing
DeleteThere is a line between giving a compliment, flirting and just being rude. And where that line is depends mostly on the actractiveness of the person doing it. Almost no one can get away with "let's go home and fck", some can get away with, "Hey, you are hot, can I buy you a drink ?" and there are some who can't even get away with a smile without being considered creepy.
ReplyDeleteIs that fair ? Maybe not, but it's how it is. And I can accept that. And don't think I think less of you when I call you hot. It's the opposite. I find you worthy of my attention :).
And to be brutally honest. Women who find everything that is said to them in the streets demeaning and objectifieing, are usually fat and ugly and just plain jealous. It does not happen to me, so it should not happen to anyone. If I don't want to change myself, let's try changing the world. It's working with the fat acceptance movement, so it can work with anything.
Thank you for the comment, Jurgen! I agree, attractiveness makes a big difference. Let's say, George Clooney was shouting "You're hot" to women as they walked by. I think a lot of women would enjoy this!
DeleteMen and women take things too personally and are too sensitive these days. Why let strangers with big mouths ruin an otherwise good day? Do they deserve the power to ruin one's day? "You're hot" is quite pleasant (depending on the attractiveness and delivery of the cat caller) compared to the other things they could be shouting, like "You're ugly" or "You're fat"
When good looking men say "You're hot" as I walk by, I say, "Thank you" and keep going
George Clonney can say "Wanna gome home and fck" to most women. Even the ones that don't go home with him, will tell their friends "Hey, you know what George Clooney said to me ?" with proud. They won't say "Hey, you know what this creep said to me on the streets ? Who do men think they are ? This can't happen anymore".
ReplyDeleteAnd in my opnion, almost any girl can say this sentence to any man. 99% of the men will either say yes or brag to their friends (maybe lie about the actractiveness of the girl, but hey :)), but almost no men will take offence.
I agree, many women would jump at the chance to spend some time with George Clooney.
DeleteI have heard guys love it, it's an ego boost
**And don't think I think less of you when I call you hot. It's the opposite. I find you worthy of my attention :)**
ReplyDeleteAnd I should be happy "I'm worthy of your attention" why? why should I be happy some guy found me attractive? I'm not here to be appraised and either accepted or rejected by you. We really shouldn't base our self-worth on what some guy you don't know and don't care about thinks of us...
Exactly! Why should or shouldn't you care? So, why get so worked up? I'm not saying you should base your self worth on some random. I'm saying dirt off your shoulder and I'd be okay with hot guys catcalling me (depending on delivery and content) because I don't let them impact my day or night
DeleteOk, let's try a different approach here. Put yourself in a mans shoes. As a man, you are the one that has to make first contact with a girl you like (I know some women will say that's not true and they can do it themselves and bla bla bla. Good for them, but it's not how the majority works). Saying "you're hot" to a girl is an attempt at that. I'm sure that there are better ways, but if women are starting to get offended by a compliment and an attempt at creating contact, there will be a lot of single people in the world. How you react is your choice, but if it was me, I would just smile and walk on. It might not affect your day, but his will be better then if you get offended and bla bla bla. And if something as simple as your smile can make someone's day better, why wouldn't you...
ReplyDeleteI agree, no reason to get offended (assuming what was said isn't terribly disgusting), if it's unwelcomed, keep moving
Deleteand sorry for my crappy English. There is no edit function available so I can't swith the "then" into "than" :)
ReplyDeleteThat's okay!
Delete