Monday, October 28, 2013

Top 5 Reasons Why Girls Don't Reply To Emails From Guys Via Dating Sites

Top 5 reasons why girls don't reply to emails from guys via dating sites (this is not the same for every girl, but these keep popping up when I talk to my girlfriends):
  1. He's ugly or unattractive in some other way (obese, missing teeth, unkempt facial hair, etc)
  2. Something in his profile was creepy (serial killer/pedophile/sex offender leer) or too sexual (talking about how "sensual" he is, his love of kissing, his love of giving massages, etc)
  3. Something in his profile was a turnoff (he's a thug, all he talks about is work or partying with his friends, his lack of education/job, full of negativity, he listed out what his girl "must have," etc)
  4. His email was too wordy (three + dense paragraphs), only four words (Hey, how are you?), full of typos, uses netspeak (How r u), an obvious form letter, etc
  5. Something seems off (his profile is too blank, his email makes it seem like he isn't proficient in English, he has no profile pictures of his face, all his photos are blurry or from a distance, etc)


  1. Those are exactly it, Adventuresaurus Girl!
    #6 His message to me was so generic, that he probably copied and pasted it to every girl.

  2. In regards to #4. More specifically, the dense or too wordy email. Do you girls realize how difficult it is for guys to write emails, well written emails, to women whom you are interested in romantically? Let me tell you from personal experience, it is pretty damn fucking hard. It's just a step away from cold calling. I can see why the lazy among us resort to the copy and paste method. There are only so many unique emails one can write under the reality of an unlikely response. In the end it all degrades into an ugly numbers game for guys.

    First off, there has to be something in her profile that you can write about. Then there has to be enough there that you might be able to separate yourself from the dozens of other emails (at least!) she must get each day. Does she state 5 times that she loves to cook? You better believe that every other guy is going to write about that.

    So that leads to trying to find some sort of commonality between you and her. Something that she mentioned that you have experience with. If so then you are golden. But what if not? What if you just find her pretty and interesting but there are no commonalities in her profile? Well then you resort to asking a few questions. Where are you from? How was Milan? Do you enjoy doing so and so....blah blah blah. It's just not that cut and dry

    To wrap things up because I feel a rant coming on....ahem. You finally have to decide whether this girl will respond to a short and sweet message or a well written one of a few paragraphs. Trust me, some girls get insulted if you don't demonstrate that you spent a good amount of time crafting your opening arguments to her. But as it says in this post, lengthy messages are a turn off as well. So you have to guess which one this girl prefers. It's the equivalent of a dart board that changes it's target values constantly.

    I guess my point here is, don't be so hard on the guys who write you long emails. At least they are trying. But hell who am I kidding? This all comes down to looks. Everything else is just bullshit until that barrier is crossed.

    BTW, sorry for the long rant. Sore subject I guess. :D

    1. I'm more likely to respond to a well thought out three sentence email than a long email, but you are right, it really does all come down to looks. If he's cute and sends a short interesting email, great. If he is cute and writes a long email, I probably won't read all of it, but will probably reply. If he is cute and sends a form email, I might reply, but with something really short. Let's hear from other ladies!