New Year

Okay, it is a new year and I am behind on posts.  We will take a look into what has happened in the last 2-3 weeks.

Felix

I heard Felix out and have seen him a couple of times (and I am right about the 48 hours thing).  He has stepped up, but I am not entirely certain that it's more than a fluke.  Furthermore, still not sure about him.  Just like anyone else, he has some very good qualities and very bad qualities.  I am going to have to give it more time to see how they stack up against each other. It would be disappointing if even more bad qualities appear without any good...  Disappointing because I would have wasted so much time and energy.

From what I have heard he is absolutely entirely interested in me, but I don't see it.  He's very nice, but distracted, stressed, unhappy, whatever, and it shows.  At times I find myself catching his mood from seeing him (not good).  He was doing so well when we just hung out as friends and on our first date.  I know he is going through some stuff right now, but is that a symptom or a cause?  And even if one is going through stuff, that wouldn't change them from being optimists at heart to pessimists right?  I think he might be a pessimist, but hid it incredibly well for the entire time I have known him.

Ivan brought this to my attention a while ago, Felix is a "bitter bachelor."  He's bitter because some girl from the past tore him apart and his personal life is not where he had hoped it would be at this age/point in time.  Well, a little advice for Felix, if he keeps this up, he will only become more bitter with time because he will not get that wife, 2.5 kids, and a picket fence.

The Brain

I have seen The Brain once or twice over the last couple of weeks.  More importantly though, he emails and texts me even when we have no plans.  He just wants to say hello and see how I am doing.  I know I am on his mind and that might be the most important thing when I consider guys.  I know he is 100% interested and actively trying to find ways to see me again.

From my limited interactions with The Brain, I think he is genuinely a cool guy.  He's funny and makes me smile, so he's got the right personality.  He knows how to joke and let go of ghosts/issues which makes him laid back and relaxed.  He doesn't want to depress me with things that are bothering him, quite honorable in my opinion.  However, personality alone is not enough.  Right now, I have no desire to see him naked.  Will I if I get to know him better?  I think it can happen, Felix is proof.

Okay, so I haven't know The Brain that long, so everything can change as I get to know more of him.  I know.

Felix vs The Brain

I think The Brain would make a much better boyfriend/husband than Felix.  I believe The Brain is capable of making me happier than Felix because our personalities work better together.  And, Felix has major demons he needs to banish if I am to continue considering him as a serious candidate. 

I want to see if Felix can outshine The Brain even though he is miles behind.  The Brain is just as busy as Felix, but makes a huge effort.  Felix, what the hell are you doing?????  Way to screw it up man, to go from first choice to last choice (if a choice at all).  And, to be completely oblivious to this...that takes a lot of skill.

It would be great if I could just combine these two.