I'm Begging You

Smart Guy who I haven't spoken to in years asked me if I'm married yet via text.  He's also literally begging me to see him.  It was "Hey, are you married yet?  I'm begging you to see me.  Please have dinner with me."  No, I am not going.  Yes, he is very successful, well educated, smart, et al, but I don't like the way he made me feel.  Everything I accomplished in life was due to "luck and good looks."  And, I don't wish to argue with him on why my opinions are "right" or "wrong."

New Job

I started a new job.  It's not a corporate job.  The pay is terrible, the perks are great, and I'll meet many new people.  I had my heart set on bartender or receptionist (these are both low stress jobs compared to what I've dealt with for the last several years); it's neither of those.  Even on bad days, it wouldn't compare to the agony of dealing with some of my former coworkers.  I've had many sleepless nights from working in an office and writting countless 3am emails.

I haven't decided if I will say what my new job is yet.  I probably will, eventually.

No No

New Leaf Guy has been trying to get my attention on FB by posting pictures from restaurants we've been to, articles on topics we've discussed at length, et al.  I feel a little bad for him.  He could have gotten what he wanted (me continuing to date him) if he had just been more considerate.  When we were together, he did some passive aggressive "acting out" things (not all the time, of course).  This one comes to mind, chit chatting on the phone (when he was already late meeting me) and continuing the conversation for another 15 minutes in front of me because he knew I was already annoyed.  No no.

The "perfect on paper" spell has been broken for a while now.  Rose colored glasses have been tossed aside.  Even worse for him, when I used to see his posts, I'd feel a tinge of something (mainly annoyance) and now I feel nothing.

Yes!

I've touched upon this in previous posts...I'm laid off (along with 30 other people in my department).  Yes!  I don't want to be there anymore.  My severance package was amazing.  So, I'm going to try out different jobs.  I've already sent out applications, gone on interviews, and accepted offers.  If I hate them, I can find another job.  Worst case, go back to the corporate world.

A Hot Second

And after hating disqualified guys for a hot second, I feel bad for them...especially when they keep trying to reach me.  It's like, if this was something you really wanted to pursue and were interested in, why did you wait until after you were disqualified to step it up?

Hate Him For A Hot Second

I always end up hating whoever it is I dated.  It doesn't last forever, just a hot second or two.  I don't think I actually hate them (or maybe I do).  It's more of me being angry with myself for turning a blind eye to things that I didn't like.

I've hated New Leaf Guy on several occasions.  I was probably angrier with myself more than I was with him.  I'd call him out, he'd improve short term, and then go back to doing whatever it was that I found to be offensive.

There were a couple of times where I was close to a murderous rampage because of how he treated me (fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me).  My limit was reached.  Sure, we had nice times, but those nice times are not worth it.  I find myself much calmer now that I've stopped talking to him.

Daylight Savings

It's the end of Daylight Savings.  This time of year makes me really think about changes I'd like to make.  Most people want to be in a relationship around the holidays; I don't.  I like having quiet time not surrounded by combined families or 900 family members of a significant other.