tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post6079772972193437512..comments2023-09-15T10:39:06.518-07:00Comments on Adventuresaurus Girl Dating and Relationship Blog: That's Also NewAdventuresaurus Girlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-40229734736968469742014-08-28T00:18:52.215-07:002014-08-28T00:18:52.215-07:00That guy was from SoCal...feel like east coast guy...That guy was from SoCal...feel like east coast guys are more confident or know how to fake it better, lol.<br /><br />Yup, SF is super small and kinda cliqueish. I guess that's true of big cities too because most people hang out with school friends, coworkers, etc.<br /><br />That's good that you aren't jaded! Yup, agree with you on the good guy thing...Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-86143944613607153112014-08-27T07:56:37.971-07:002014-08-27T07:56:37.971-07:00Sounds like this guy still felt he need to prove h...Sounds like this guy still felt he need to prove himself and that money was and still is a big deal to him. I wonder where he lived growing up? Makes me think of the movie Pretty in Pink. High school in the Chicago burbs was NOT that bad, but there was definitely the "wrong side of the tracks" there. <br /><br />SF does feel really small - it's weird. But I guess compared to cities like Chicago and NYC, it is pretty small, both population and geography. Boston didn't feel that small to me, but I also didn't have such a large group of friends and didn't really go out a lot there. I was all coupled up and wasting my '20s being lame. Haha. Based on what I know of you from this blog, I think you'd burn through Boston pretty quick. And you wouldn't like the guys...or the weather.<br /><br />Been here in SF about 2.5 years. Maybe not long enough to be totally jaded on the dating scene, but I get the frustration. Seems like good guys are few and far-between, but I know and have found a handful. Of course I wasn't into them! (The latest is this super sweet guy, French-Canadian, who has a great job, is smart, would/did treat me well, etc. Just no chemistry. I tried!)TJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03944911201652469495noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-83199211651419239202014-08-26T19:01:49.323-07:002014-08-26T19:01:49.323-07:00I remember dating this one guy, he was poor growin...I remember dating this one guy, he was poor growing up, and really rich now. All he did was brag about how much he made (to everyone). And, he still had a major chip on his shoulder about how people used to treat him like crap because he was poor (I suspect it had nothing to do with his lack of money, but more to do with his lack of personality).<br /><br />I feel like SF is small and you run into people a lot here. Was it like that in Boston? How long have you been in SF?Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-57845018851211318262014-08-26T15:51:22.214-07:002014-08-26T15:51:22.214-07:00Socioeconomic class definitely can matter if you l...Socioeconomic class definitely can matter if you let it. I think it depends on the people involved and how accepting they are. I know a couple who ended up breaking up because she was a "Trustafarian," and he truly had worked hard to be where he was, but he still didn't have the disposable income she had. And she would spoil him with trips and stuff. He'd mentioned to me that it became an issue, because she started getting paranoid that he was using her for her money. Then again, she turned out to be a total psycho, so...<br /><br />There's no problem with having standards. I probably wouldn't want to live in a trailer park, either! (But ya never know, haha.)<br /><br />As for the most recent ex, we met through my brother. We would have met eventually regardless, because we're both part of the same cycling community. And our community happens to be very large and incestuous. TJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-9983115685568084692014-08-26T15:00:29.330-07:002014-08-26T15:00:29.330-07:00Sorry about your ex! I used to think socioeconomi...Sorry about your ex! I used to think socioeconomic class did not matter, however, as I've gotten older, I think it's huge (because we are all used to a certain way of life). For example, I could never live in a trailer park, not saying there's anything wrong with people who live in trailer parks, but I know I can't do it. From being married to the ex and what you've seen with friends, family, etc. would you say socioeconomic class matters?<br /><br />Lol, I got it, no serial killers, but he might be blond.<br /><br />Aww, stinks about the SF guy. Out of curiosity, how did you two meet?Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-42148593425511978732014-08-26T14:52:17.684-07:002014-08-26T14:52:17.684-07:00OMG, this guy sounds like my ex! My family ALWAYS ...OMG, this guy sounds like my ex! My family ALWAYS took him on great vacations (and paid for them), and was he grateful? No! He resented my parents for having money because his parents didn't! If he sulks when she takes him on nice vacations, there's an issue there.<br /><br />To clarify my other statement, I don't mean you'll end up with someone who has one of the CRAZY deal-breaker traits. Just one of the more superficial ones. Like maybe you'll end up with a blond guy! <br /><br />The last guy I dated is someone I NEVER would have considered when I moved here. And then I got to know him and totally fell for him. And then he trampled on my heart. Hmm. What were you saying about guys in SF? ;)TJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-77051601617021789432014-08-26T14:26:55.765-07:002014-08-26T14:26:55.765-07:00RE: "...guy you end up with will most likely ...RE: "...guy you end up with will most likely have at least one of your "deal breaker" traits." Very interesting! Wow, hope he's not addicted to drugs/alcohol, lol.<br /><br />Sorry you guys didn't work out, I bet you learned a lot though.<br /><br />She always takes him on really nice vacations and he sulks the whole time because she paid for itAdventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-53659577686937758992014-08-26T14:15:04.696-07:002014-08-26T14:15:04.696-07:00Well I don't know about you, but I LOVE to dat...Well I don't know about you, but I LOVE to date killers and cheaters! Ha, joking. That makes sense. It's when you have items on the list like "Must be X feet X inches tall, must have dark hair, must make $XXX, etc" that you start potentially missing out. According to the Four Man Plan, the three most important traits a guy should have are: Loving, Willing, and Honest. And she posits that the guy you end up with will most likely have at least one of your "deal breaker" traits.<br /><br />My ex (husband) made less than me. It was never an issue, because the gap wasn't huge, but we also kept our finances separate. It worked, but our relationship didn't for so many other reasons. <br /><br />As for the teacher/doctor couple, that's a lame cop-out! Anyone can afford to take a loved one out somewhere nice once in a while. It's called budgeting. If she never gets to do anything she'd like to do because of lack of money, then yeah, maybe it's not a good fit. At the same time, there's nothing stopping her from taking him out or even finding ways they can spend quality time together on the cheap. It depends on your priorities I guess.<br /> TJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-1160976955912300132014-08-26T13:08:50.845-07:002014-08-26T13:08:50.845-07:00You are right, TJ, I've heard the date someone...You are right, TJ, I've heard the date someone pretty different thing before. I think for short term dating, it would be interesting, but wouldn't work for long term ("just too different"). With the money thing, I know ladies who make more than their guy and have heard how it's not so good. For example, one doctor I know dates a teacher and he's always saying stuff like, "Well, sorry I can't take you anywhere nice since I don't make as much as you." There's some resentment...<br /><br />I do have a must have list and I think you'd agree with some of it...must be able to hold a conversation, have basic morals/standards (no killing, no cheating), must be respectful of others, etc.<br /><br />Hmm, nope, never read itAdventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-3694677679551645632014-08-26T13:01:14.589-07:002014-08-26T13:01:14.589-07:00Fair enough. But food for thought, and I know othe...Fair enough. But food for thought, and I know others have mentioned the same thing: Some of my best relationships have been with men who did NOT have the same educational background or make the same money as me. I agree that you don't want to be with a guy who will end up becoming a financial leech, but maybe you should consider guys who are HAPPY in their career yet may not make as much money as you. Then again, if you prefer to do lots of things that cost money, dating a guy who makes decent money would probably be necessary. I'm used to dating people who don't make a lot of money, so we end up doing lots of creative/interesting and different things.<br /><br />I think anyone who has a laundry list of stuff they "must have" is a fool. Ever read "The Four Man Plan"? It was pretty eye-opening for me, even though most of what she wrote is common-sense stuff when you think about it.TJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-676967358627776962014-08-26T12:53:12.000-07:002014-08-26T12:53:12.000-07:00Hmm, pretty sure I'm not asking for things tha...Hmm, pretty sure I'm not asking for things that I don't already have. For example, a nice education (yes, I have this), nice to people he likes (yes, I do this), make at least as much as I do, etc.<br /><br />If these guys with laundry lists could back it up themselves, fineAdventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-47885192591984023482014-08-26T11:35:07.757-07:002014-08-26T11:35:07.757-07:00"When I see a guy who says stuff like, "..."When I see a guy who says stuff like, "must be a size 0 or 2, maybe a 4 if your face is a 10, shoe size 7 1/2, height 5'8" max, IQ 140+, MENSA preferred, can cook a 5 star meal, SCUBA certified, at least 10 passport stamps" I think, "Wow, he's got a long road ahead of him and he'll probably be single forever.""<br /><br />Ha! Do you realize this is EXACTLY how you come across re: your laundry list of what you're looking for in guys?TJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-60648661756700608242014-06-17T10:05:26.263-07:002014-06-17T10:05:26.263-07:00Calling at those hours and asking who you were wit...Calling at those hours and asking who you were with were definitely no-no's. I'm sure if you continued talking with him, you'd find he was clueless about many other common sense dating things - it's for the best that you won't have to deal with him anymore!Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05509307036562185668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-30670255328665999092014-06-16T20:54:36.808-07:002014-06-16T20:54:36.808-07:00That's great! What site did you use?That's great! What site did you use?Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-32959796020543029142014-06-16T18:19:30.876-07:002014-06-16T18:19:30.876-07:00No thanks, I'm seeing someone. Met him online...No thanks, I'm seeing someone. Met him online. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-715326976209875382014-06-15T21:49:21.726-07:002014-06-15T21:49:21.726-07:00Sure, it was nice that he called. His questions w...Sure, it was nice that he called. His questions were intrusive. Perhaps he didn't think they were, but I don't know how asking a total stranger to account for every minute of a 24 hour day wouldn't be intrusive. And the "Who were you with?" questions? <br /><br />If you are interested in this guy, I'm happy to send you his number (providing I still have it)Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-55106691541868709322014-06-15T21:42:08.882-07:002014-06-15T21:42:08.882-07:00I don't see the problem. A cold call is alway...I don't see the problem. A cold call is always awkward and asking you questions along the lines of small talk is NOT grilling, it's making conversation. Would you prefer that you both sit there in silence?<br /><br />I agree that calling at 11pm on a weeknight or 8pm on a Fri are annoying, but he probably keeps slightly different hours than you and didn't realize it. <br /><br />You've said you like when guys call rather than text, but now you're complaining about a call?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-91868092052338434292014-06-14T19:49:29.033-07:002014-06-14T19:49:29.033-07:00Haha, I can guarantee that no "older" wo...Haha, I can guarantee that no "older" woman with 5 mil in the bank is going to talk to me. They'd be be able to smell my sub-six figure income a mile away.<br /><br />But, there are two camps of older women. The ones who are like me and were in a relationship and had it end leaving them single in their late 30's. They are more relatable to me.<br /><br />Then you have the ones who've been single for most of their 30's because they were either focusing on on their careers or have a high expectation for what they want in a man. Those women never seemed impressed with me. I get the sense that they want a Ken doll. Where as I'm a nice guy and all, but I've got....personality. :Djhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17775823790154569529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-83583546348253518452014-06-14T18:15:30.541-07:002014-06-14T18:15:30.541-07:00Women do that as they get older? Maybe it's a...Women do that as they get older? Maybe it's a "successful woman" issue, meaning, she's got a house, 5 mil in the bank, job that pays her well, blah blah blah and she wants a guy who is just as successful.<br /><br />I think I need to go much older, like go out with guys who are at least 45 years old because at least they know how to behave (at least the ones I've met know how to hold a conversation, behave chivalrously, banter, et al)Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-86481794827084764312014-06-14T14:14:24.762-07:002014-06-14T14:14:24.762-07:00Oh yeah, those guys are nuts. But I've run in...Oh yeah, those guys are nuts. But I've run into women like that as well and it seems that the older they get the more picky they are.<br /><br />Me? I just want to be attracted to someone. But I know that not being attracted to a girl doesn't mean they're unattractive. It's hard to remember that though when you get turned down yourself.<br /><br />I do wish there was a better way to meet people though without it being such a "bang bang let's figure this out right now" kind of thing. Attraction can grow over time the more you get to know someone. It's finding a reason to stick around with that person to reach that point that's hard.jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17775823790154569529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-23278156618393883962014-06-14T10:40:25.974-07:002014-06-14T10:40:25.974-07:00Hey J, you seem reasonable, so, I'm guessing y...Hey J, you seem reasonable, so, I'm guessing you are "picky," but it's basic stuff like: must be able to hold a conversation, has a job, cute to me, has her life together, etc.<br /><br />When I see a guy who says stuff like, "must be a size 0 or 2, maybe a 4 if your face is a 10, shoe size 7 1/2, height 5'8" max, IQ 140+, MENSA preferred, can cook a 5 star meal, SCUBA certified, at least 10 passport stamps" I think, "Wow, he's got a long road ahead of him and he'll probably be single forever." Adventuresaurus Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11697183583983292564noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8865927790050521161.post-30768573721324493342014-06-13T23:17:52.581-07:002014-06-13T23:17:52.581-07:00I'm certainly not less picky. But I'm stu...I'm certainly not less picky. But I'm stubborn and refuse to settle just because I'm now 40.<br />jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17775823790154569529noreply@blogger.com